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ever feel lonely in a relationship...? Watch

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    I know this sounds strange. But sometimes i feel so lonely in my relationship. we've been together for 2 and a half years, and we have some amazing times and i do love him. But i just feel like he doesnt give a ****. The thing is i know he loves me. He is not the type to throw around i love yous all over the place so when he says it i know he means what he is saying. He can just be so laid back and so oblivious to the fact that im feeling lonely, even tho i have given him enough hints.
    I think my problem is that i compare our relationship to other peoples sometimes, which is bad. But i look at other couples behaviour and they just look so in love and i just feel like im either reading too much into the fact that we have got into a very comfortable stage in our relationship or there is something deeper going on and maybe its time to end it.
    The problem is i do still love him, and i get so upset at the thought of us breaking up.
    i just dont know what to think. i know i cant change him and he is never going to be romantic ( which is not what i want anyway, that would do my head in). I just feel like sometimes its a bit disappointing. for example, i come back from uni and we havnt seen eachother for three weeks, im missing him like mad so im desperate to see him and catch up and if it was the other way around i would be picking him up from the station and excited to hear all about how hes been and catch up. But no. He doesnt offer to pick me up, he sees his mates all weekend and then we catch up for a few hours before i go back to uni.
    (my uni isnt too far, so long distance doesn't ever cause problems)
    I just feel like god, do i deserve better, or am i just being a selfish picky ***** who doesnt appreciate what she has.

    Its just so difficult. Most will read this and make up their minds quite quickly. But you have to remember he doesnt do anything WRONG, its more the fact that he doesnt necesarily do anything right either :confused:

    opinions would help me when i am feeling quite low.
    thank you.
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    tell him exactly what you said here...then decide...
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    ive told him before that i feel like he doesnt miss me as much as i miss him. and that if we broke up tommorow his life wouldnt change really. and that i dont feel like a big part of his life. most of our arguments (we dont really argue that much tbh) about stupid stuff usually end in us talking about this (prob cos its always in the back of my mind)
    He just brushes it off. he just gets pissed off and is like just leave it. he never opens up and talks to me about what he thinks.
    so there you go! ive tried telling him! haha
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    He probably doesn't even realise it upsets you...sometimes you have to just discuss it outright rather than dropping hints. Having said that, it's a bit much to make so little effort when you haven't seen each other for three weeks...my boyfriend's not overly soppy or whatever either, but when I haven't seen him for a few weeks he'll put other things aside to spend time with me. Just speak to him directly and see what he says.
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    #1

    yeh. he always has excuses for everything which always makes me feel like im just being a psyco bunny boiler. hes fav is saying im naggy or needy. but im sorry picking me up from the station isnt me being ****ing needy, even a mate who just plain cares about me would pick me up ha.
    i just feel like he always has excuses.
    i think hes just not mature enough for a relationship. He just cant seem to compromise and meet me half way and its so annoying cos it will eventually ruin our relationship.
    i just feel like he takes me for granted big time.
    i know it sounds like im just being a spoilt gf or watever. but if u love someone you need to show them you care every now and then other wise yes you start to feel lonely and wonder if its all worth it.
    hmm.
    but yeh i agree, we wil need to have a proper big chat at some point.
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    Are you in an LDR?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know this sounds strange. But sometimes i feel so lonely in my relationship. we've been together for 2 and a half years, and we have some amazing times and i do love him. But i just feel like he doesnt give a ****. The thing is i know he loves me. He is not the type to throw around i love yous all over the place so when he says it i know he means what he is saying. He can just be so laid back and so oblivious to the fact that im feeling lonely, even tho i have given him enough hints.
    I think my problem is that i compare our relationship to other peoples sometimes, which is bad. But i look at other couples behaviour and they just look so in love and i just feel like im either reading too much into the fact that we have got into a very comfortable stage in our relationship or there is something deeper going on and maybe its time to end it.
    The problem is i do still love him, and i get so upset at the thought of us breaking up.
    i just dont know what to think. i know i cant change him and he is never going to be romantic ( which is not what i want anyway, that would do my head in). I just feel like sometimes its a bit disappointing. for example, i come back from uni and we havnt seen eachother for three weeks, im missing him like mad so im desperate to see him and catch up and if it was the other way around i would be picking him up from the station and excited to hear all about how hes been and catch up. But no. He doesnt offer to pick me up, he sees his mates all weekend and then we catch up for a few hours before i go back to uni.
    (my uni isnt too far, so long distance doesn't ever cause problems)
    I just feel like god, do i deserve better, or am i just being a selfish picky ***** who doesnt appreciate what she has.

    Its just so difficult. Most will read this and make up their minds quite quickly. But you have to remember he doesnt do anything WRONG, its more the fact that he doesnt necesarily do anything right either :confused:

    opinions would help me when i am feeling quite low.
    thank you.
    While the honeymoon doesn’t last forever, for any romantic relationship to work you must remain emotionally connected and best friends.

    At 2 ½ years you basically know every detail of his life as he knows all of yours, so the communications that you shared during your ‘discovery period’ is a thing of the past.

    It is not unusual at that point for a partner to be very comfortable and laid back as they believe they have found their ‘soul mate’ and then take them for granted. As a result of that, they may focus on things of a personal interest. Unfortunately that interest is often on things that are not of mutual interest to their partner, leaving their partner feeling rejected.

    If I were you, I would have a face to face conversation with him and discuss exactly what you said in OP to discover where his priorities are. You may well find that he is so in love and secure in his relationship with you and that it is the very reason for your concerns.

    Best wishes
 
 
 
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