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Boyfriend advice - are my standards just too high? Watch

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    Bit of advice please.

    So I've been with my current boyfriend for about 5 months now (we are both 23) and there are a few issues that I would like some external analysis on.

    Most of the time we get on like a house on fire, have only had a couple of very small arguments. We have similar ambitions, the same tastes when it comes to social activities, tv, music, food etc. We have an excellent sex life and generally things are very good.

    There are however a few annoying factors. These factors are things like he looks down on people and doesn't interact with people in a friendly way; to people that she doesn't know very well he comes across as being quite snooty. He isn't particularly friendly to people that she doesn't already have a close relationship with. This is a problem for me because I am quite the opposite.

    The way in which he deals with any level of stress is very hard to deal with. Whenever there is the slightest amount of stress he becomes moody and only ever complains about things rather than trying to find positive solutions. This is a really negative energy and is quite exhausting to deal with.

    The final thing is kitchen hygiene. Washing up always has to be redone if he does it and he always leaves the kitchen in such a state. He always laughs it off when I bring it up and makes excuses like "well I've always had a dishwasher and I don't have one now so this is just the best I can do".

    Those are the peeves. Don't get me wrong - everything else about the relationship is fantastic apart from those things. Am I asking too much to want these problems to not exist or are my complaints fairly reasonable and rational? _ please be honest!

    Thanks! xx
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    Well he sounds like a standard guy. Well for the most part. You do call him "she" quite often. the only thing that matters is if you can out up with his bad habits. If you can then doesn't matter. If you can't then it's probably best to call it a day.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Bit of advice please.

    So I've been with my current boyfriend for about 5 months now (we are both 23) and there are a few issues that I would like some external analysis on.

    Most of the time we get on like a house on fire, have only had a couple of very small arguments. We have similar ambitions, the same tastes when it comes to social activities, tv, music, food etc. We have an excellent sex life and generally things are very good.

    There are however a few annoying factors. These factors are things like he looks down on people and doesn't interact with people in a friendly way; to people that she doesn't know very well he comes across as being quite snooty. He isn't particularly friendly to people that she doesn't already have a close relationship with. This is a problem for me because I am quite the opposite.

    The way in which he deals with any level of stress is very hard to deal with. Whenever there is the slightest amount of stress he becomes moody and only ever complains about things rather than trying to find positive solutions. This is a really negative energy and is quite exhausting to deal with.

    The final thing is kitchen hygiene. Washing up always has to be redone if he does it and he always leaves the kitchen in such a state. He always laughs it off when I bring it up and makes excuses like "well I've always had a dishwasher and I don't have one now so this is just the best I can do".

    Those are the peeves. Don't get me wrong - everything else about the relationship is fantastic apart from those things. Am I asking too much to want these problems to not exist or are my complaints fairly reasonable and rational? _ please be honest!

    Thanks! xx
    I'd have to say: Yes... and no.

    There is nothing wrong with your demands, nor is there generally anything wrong with finding small faults with your partner and wanting a little change.

    What you have to ask is: if these things don't change (which is unlikely given that he's a man and we generally don't change), are these issues going to be a problem in the future to the extent that the relationship can't work?

    Sounds mostly benign to me- only issue I might have is the snootiness.

    For whatever my opinion is worth, I hope it helps.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
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    I think hes finding life too easy.
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    That sounds like me, except I do the washing up sometimes.

    No one's perfect.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Bit of advice please.

    So I've been with my current boyfriend for about 5 months now (we are both 23) and there are a few issues that I would like some external analysis on.

    Most of the time we get on like a house on fire, have only had a couple of very small arguments. We have similar ambitions, the same tastes when it comes to social activities, tv, music, food etc. We have an excellent sex life and generally things are very good.

    There are however a few annoying factors. These factors are things like he looks down on people and doesn't interact with people in a friendly way; to people that she doesn't know very well he comes across as being quite snooty. He isn't particularly friendly to people that she doesn't already have a close relationship with. This is a problem for me because I am quite the opposite.

    The way in which he deals with any level of stress is very hard to deal with. Whenever there is the slightest amount of stress he becomes moody and only ever complains about things rather than trying to find positive solutions. This is a really negative energy and is quite exhausting to deal with.

    The final thing is kitchen hygiene. Washing up always has to be redone if he does it and he always leaves the kitchen in such a state. He always laughs it off when I bring it up and makes excuses like "well I've always had a dishwasher and I don't have one now so this is just the best I can do".

    Those are the peeves. Don't get me wrong - everything else about the relationship is fantastic apart from those things. Am I asking too much to want these problems to not exist or are my complaints fairly reasonable and rational? _ please be honest!

    Thanks! xx

    Ok, no offence but are you really that amazing yourself? I mean, do you not think there are things that annoy him about you, I can't beliee you're perfect. Anyway, maybe you could just suggest in a constructive and unbossy manner that he treats some people better instead of being arrogant or whetever. Men appreciate directness from women.
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    your use of he and she is confusing me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Bit of advice please.

    So I've been with my current boyfriend for about 5 months now (we are both 23) and there are a few issues that I would like some external analysis on.

    Most of the time we get on like a house on fire, have only had a couple of very small arguments. We have similar ambitions, the same tastes when it comes to social activities, tv, music, food etc. We have an excellent sex life and generally things are very good.

    There are however a few annoying factors. These factors are things like he looks down on people and doesn't interact with people in a friendly way; to people that she doesn't know very well he comes across as being quite snooty. He isn't particularly friendly to people that she doesn't already have a close relationship with. This is a problem for me because I am quite the opposite.

    The way in which he deals with any level of stress is very hard to deal with. Whenever there is the slightest amount of stress he becomes moody and only ever complains about things rather than trying to find positive solutions. This is a really negative energy and is quite exhausting to deal with.

    The final thing is kitchen hygiene. Washing up always has to be redone if he does it and he always leaves the kitchen in such a state. He always laughs it off when I bring it up and makes excuses like "well I've always had a dishwasher and I don't have one now so this is just the best I can do".

    Those are the peeves. Don't get me wrong - everything else about the relationship is fantastic apart from those things. Am I asking too much to want these problems to not exist or are my complaints fairly reasonable and rational? _ please be honest!

    Thanks! xx
    So he's human. 'Perfect' doesn't exist. What is it you're wanting us to tell you? Are you looking for an excuse to dump him? I don't get the point of your post.

    If you're still attracted to him, stay together. If you're having doubts, talk to him openly about what you've posted here. Or find another guy. Simple really.

    The very fact you have to post about your boyfriend's 'faults' on an internet forum rings alarm bells with me. Why can't you just talk to him directly about these issues? The fact that you can't doesn't bode well for your relationship.
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    I'm sure you do things that irritate him. Try and get him to clean up better of course, but it's only normal you'll have things that annoy you about him.
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    You could try calling him out on the snooty thing. But it could just leads to arguments. Depends on how well you guys can deal with accepting each others criticism.
 
 
 
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