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    • #1
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    Generally I've always found making friends and socialising hard. But in my first year and this year (my second year) I have made a lot of friends and talk to a lot of people. Although I don't go out much I still sometimes eat out with them, and since I do engineering, a large chunck of my time is used doing work, resting and visit to (or my from) my girlfriend once every two or three weeks over the weekends.

    Last year I didn't really work hard. Don't get me wrong, I worked hard on projects and assignments, but when it came to example sheets etc I was exhausted and couldn't do them properly. I still passed, but this year I have been trying to work hard at everything.

    Here is where I feel so down. No matter how far I get, I feel I am falling behind everyone. I just feel so stupid that I still sometimes don't get basic things. When I tell postgrads who are there to help I can see in their eyes they must think how stupid I am.

    Whenever I ask advanced questions after the lecture (based on the work but just questions based like "what if") I sometimes get looks like I am an idiot and I shouldn't be asking these questions.

    Even then I try to remain upbeat, but I feel I have no talents whatsoever. I am skinny, relatively weak, wear glasses (and come on, so many people think you are a nerd if you are skinny, asian and wear glasses). I do use forums a lot but even then I struggle to connect to people. Its really bringing me down now to such an extent that I cried for half an hour yesterday night. It all became too much. Just thinking about how my mum rings me asking me why I am so quiet and I can never tell her how I feel either. She doesn't understand things like this (I've tried before).

    I even tried getting help for me issues by seeking help with a counsellor. It got to the stage where she said I may need to see a psychiatrist, so I gave her my doctor's details (since she couldn't directly refer me). But they started ringing home tons so I had to pretend I knew nothing about it. She then said I was suddenly all better because she saw me with my gf. I knew then she had given up on me.

    I tell people I want to achieve something great and good, something I will be remembered by, like Bernoulli, Newton etc. Ok, nowhere near as clever I know, but thats my dream. I also want to go to space and things like that too. But when I look at myself in the mirror I just think I have no chance to do any of those. When I cried I realized that I have no talents whatsoever. Just nothing goes for me. I rarely get anything from my course and despite getting help, going to drop in sessions etc, I feel I have made no progress. Everyone I know always seems upbeat, always seems to know what they are talking about, confident etc. When I look at myself I feel none of these at all.

    What should I do? I am at ends road now. I have thought of suicide before, but to be honest I'm too much of a chicken and I don't want to give up like that. I'd rather have a family and see my children do well. Do something good for them. But I honestly feel so depressed now. I just feel like anything I do is rubbish. No matter how hard I try to work, it doesn't do anything. Nothing is clicking and I am stuck in a rot so to speak. Any advice on how I can find out what my talents are or anything like that would be warmly welcomed please
    • #2

    I've had similar sorts of issues but try to look at the positives and try your hand at something new. Perservere and maybe some good will happen all da best mate!!

    You have a gf. Many better looking people struggle for even that. Cheer up. It's not that bad.
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Updated: December 5, 2010
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