The Student Room Group

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Reply 1
Probably not...I told my ex I still had feelings for her, and now she doesn't speak to me!
Reply 2
Well I am still friends with my ex, so we're on good terms,.....basically I've grown up alot since we were together and I really want to give it another try.
Sarzy
I used to be totally against this but now I'm in the situation where I really want to do this. Does getting back with exs ever work out?



no... it never works.. remember- why did you break up in the first place? there must have been a reason- and dont make the same mistake twice! yea i know its hard sometimes.. but you have to move on..
Reply 4
Dont do it. No good comes from it IMO
I think you should do it just to see that it rarely works out. I had a terrible feud with an ex and now i have lost a few friends from the experience.
Reply 6
very, very rarely
Sarzy
I used to be totally against this but now I'm in the situation where I really want to do this. Does getting back with exs ever work out?


Depends i think people change, something in their life may make them different, i mean everyone changes. However it is kinda easy to tread the old ground so i say take it slowly if it is what you really wanna do, you will soon see if he has changed and if it is gonna work. :biggrin:
I've never done it, but I'm kind of hoping to.

I wouldn't listen to all the people who say "Definitely not; never get back with an ex!" At the same time, I would advise you to proceed with caution and consider the following questions:

Why did you break up? If one of you cheated on the other, how can you be sure you'll ever quite trust each other again? If you simply fell out of love, why? Do you think the flame has been re-kindled somehow? Or are you simply looking to go back for some comfort and security? Did one of you treat the other badly? If so, how do you know it wouldn't happen again?

What were the good and bad points of your relationship? You've both changed since you broke up; that much is inevitable. Would the good points still be relevant? Would the bad points still be the same, or have you both changed for the better? What did you argue about when you were together? Would the same arguments still be points of contention?

It's very easy to look back on an old relationship through rosy specs and remember only the good things. However, you need to ask yourself whether you're being realistic. If you get back together and then suddenly all the bad things come back to haunt you, you'll split up again and the memories of the second relationship will taint the memories of the first one. If it's unlikely to work a second time, perhaps it would be preferable to leave it in the past, so you always have fond memories of the first relationship. If you can look back on the first relationship and it brings a smile to your face, you need to think carefully about whether you want to risk tainting those good memories. On the other hand, if the first relationship didn't bring a smile to your face, you wouldn't be considering getting back together. Some couples get back together and the second time it works, so don't decide not to get back together purely to preserve the memories of the first relationship, if it means you're denying yourself the pleasures of a second, fulfilling relationship.

I would also advise you not to try and pick up where you left off. Where you left off is the point at which your relationship failed last time. I think to a certain extent, when you get back together with someone, you need to make a conscious effort to start from the beginning. This might seem difficult, but if you just fall back into old (bad) habits, the relationship is doomed before it even starts.

If you do get back together, think about what worked last time, and what didn't work. Everyone makes mistakes in every relationship. Don't let yourself make the same ones again.

Think very carefully about what you want to do, and good luck xx
Reply 9
it depends on why the relationship ended in the first place, - if it was serious reason then possibly not but then again if was a minor reason, to break up over that suggests may not work out in future! Usually a no go zone IMO
Reply 10
susiemakemeblue
I've never done it, but I'm kind of hoping to.

I wouldn't listen to all the people who say "Definitely not; never get back with an ex!" At the same time, I would advise you to proceed with caution and consider the following questions:

Why did you break up? If one of you cheated on the other, how can you be sure you'll ever quite trust each other again? If you simply fell out of love, why? Do you think the flame has been re-kindled somehow? Or are you simply looking to go back for some comfort and security? Did one of you treat the other badly? If so, how do you know it wouldn't happen again?

What were the good and bad points of your relationship? You've both changed since you broke up; that much is inevitable. Would the good points still be relevant? Would the bad points still be the same, or have you both changed for the better? What did you argue about when you were together? Would the same arguments still be points of contention?

It's very easy to look back on an old relationship through rosy specs and remember only the good things. However, you need to ask yourself whether you're being realistic. If you get back together and then suddenly all the bad things come back to haunt you, you'll split up again and the memories of the second relationship will taint the memories of the first one. If it's unlikely to work a second time, perhaps it would be preferable to leave it in the past, so you always have fond memories of the first relationship. If you can look back on the first relationship and it brings a smile to your face, you need to think carefully about whether you want to risk tainting those good memories. On the other hand, if the first relationship didn't bring a smile to your face, you wouldn't be considering getting back together. Some couples get back together and the second time it works, so don't decide not to get back together purely to preserve the memories of the first relationship, if it means you're denying yourself the pleasures of a second, fulfilling relationship.

I would also advise you not to try and pick up where you left off. Where you left off is the point at which your relationship failed last time. I think to a certain extent, when you get back together with someone, you need to make a conscious effort to start from the beginning. This might seem difficult, but if you just fall back into old (bad) habits, the relationship is doomed before it even starts.

If you do get back together, think about what worked last time, and what didn't work. Everyone makes mistakes in every relationship. Don't let yourself make the same ones again.

Think very carefully about what you want to do, and good luck xx


I completely agree. My ex boyfriend and I both sat down, thought about what we wanted and where we went wrong, and now he's my boyfriend again! Its not always easy, but if you put in the effort it can work :smile:
Reply 11
Sarzy
I used to be totally against this but now I'm in the situation where I really want to do this. Does getting back with exs ever work out?


Depends on why you broke up in the first place. I had an ex-boyfriend and we kept breaking up and getting back together all the time...
we're married now!
Evenstar
Depends on why you broke up in the first place. I had an ex-boyfriend and we kept breaking up and getting back together all the time...
we're married now!


Can you tell us your story?
Reply 13
Dont do it!
Exs are evil
Reply 14
Basically, we met when I was 16 and he was 19. We had an incredible connection and friendship. We got together, but we were always arguing 'cos he was very jealous and I am a very independent person. My family didn't like him and thought I could do better, but you can't help who you fall in love with!
Anyway, we had a really on/off thing for years (our friends must have got so sick of it!).
Eventually, we broke up and were apart for about a year and a half, trying to get on with life without each other, but it just didn't work! We got back together and decided to make it forever so we got engaged. Got married in August 2003 when I was 24. And all our mates breathed a huge sigh of relief... :rolleyes:
Reply 15
Don't get back together. Ex's are evil as Bharj said. Remember all those things you hate about her.
Reply 16
lol

i just stumbled into the wrong thread.

i have thought that said, "getting back with an ax"
john171
Don't get back together. Ex's are evil as Bharj said. Remember all those things you hate about her.


If all exes are evil, then presumably she's evil too. She's also an ex, remember? :rolleyes:

If all exes are evil, then most people in the world are evil, so it doesn't matter anyway.
go for it , what do you actually have to loose? i've done it before and although it didn't work out as a couple we're now best m8s (wich is 100 times better)
I'd say nope, your in for heartbreak if you do