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She keeps winning, I continue to lose... Watch

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    'Serious' gf of 5 years then I break up with her when I find out she had been cheating on me all the time. For a few months I gave her the chance to see if she could change with me - after her giving me all the usual stuff like "we're meant to be together" and "My life isnt worth living without you" but to be honest, I couldnt fully trust her after everything and then her getting new phone numbers after a night out pushed me over the edge and finally started no contact. for about 6-8 weeks after that point she would try and hound me with phone calls, send me emails and text messages with the usual 'give me another chance' nonsense but I never replied.

    So I hear over the past two months that on recent nights out with her friends she has been quite embarrassing in clubs like getting so drunk and hopping from guy to guy - think it was 7 or 8 in that night. And now she has got a new bf. After seeing a pic on the internet of them - I'll admit now, the guy is a really good looking guy. Like you'd wonder why he was with her sort of thing. Out of HER league. My point being she hasnt been affected at all with what she done and what she caused, and to top it all off she has got even luckier with the new guy.

    After I went NC with her it took me a good month or so to really believe that I done best for me. I'm over her, but if I'm being honest, I still have a small amount of bitterness to the situation. She hasnt suffered like I did.

    As for me and a new girl - I cannot find confidence in my appearance anymore after losing my hair this summer. I don't know where to start. My issue is with my appearance, but seeing that she's doing well sort of pushed me to write this today!

    I know I'll inevitably receive the usual funny one liners and negative attitudes but for everyone else - where do I start?

    [/RANT]
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    This is how it is with cheating - a person hurt another and it will always feel unfair. You must try to be the bigger person and not be looking for revenge. Even if you aren't together now, she tried to get you back for a long time which means she wanted to be with you - ergo she has lost something.
    Sounds like you are unhappy with your life at the moment. Losing your hair is not something you're alone about, many guys go through it and manage just fine Don't speculate what's going on with her relationship. You don't know him or what he's like, if he's got a pretty face so what, he might an ass. "She hasn't suffered like I did" - that's the thing, some people are mean and do things to others and they don't have to pay unless they've broken the national law. Life is unfair. It's not like every time you suffer, someone will suffer equivalently. Try to make the best of what you have.
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    The only solution is to ignore her and try not to think of her/find out what she is upto until you are feeling better enough about things that you can be in contact with her without it just causing you some anguish.
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    Ignoring her then - where do I start? Begin with the old cliché of hitting the gym hard and getting confidence that way? Does that work in reality or does it just sound like the best advice 'on paper'?

    I could write 2010 off as a bad year, and make 2011 all about myself. Just don't know which goals I can set that will get me more confident and resulting in meeting a new gf!
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    She hasn't been affected because she never liked you that much to even care.
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    She really didn't care about you very much to treat you so badly.

    Just learn from this mistake that not all girls are like that and the fact you have lost your hair should not deter you from chatting up new girls.

    You may be hurting and feeling bitter now but you should be feeling happy that you escaped from such a shallow inconsiderate person and there is certainly a better girl for you out there somewhere.
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    Maybe find another girl, some people cant be trustable
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    Don't get me wrong - What she has done to me hasn't tainted my perception on the majority of women. She was just mad. She is very insecure with low self esteem - she admitted afterwards that she couldnt help when she was out that it was a good feeling getting chatted up and drinks bought etc.

    Granted right now I've became insecure, but I'm not affecting others by it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I could write 2010 off as a bad year, and make 2011 all about myself.
    Do this. Do all the things you like. Enjoy yourself, just with friends. Read those books you always wanted to read. If you have a hobby, start a new project (etc).

    Don't start looking for a new girlfriend until you feel like it (in a few months, perhaps) or a girl happens to come along that you really like.
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    What the hell did you expect? You didn't answer her texts or her calls or talk to her at all and now she's found another guy and this is surprising to you? What, did you expect her to flee to the nunnery?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ignoring her then - where do I start? Begin with the old cliché of hitting the gym hard and getting confidence that way? Does that work in reality or does it just sound like the best advice 'on paper'?

    I could write 2010 off as a bad year, and make 2011 all about myself. Just don't know which goals I can set that will get me more confident and resulting in meeting a new gf!
    I went through a bad break this year up (situation was completely different however, neither mine or hers fault) and did this, writing off 2010, focusing on making 2011 better, the gym helps, exercise and physical exertion helps, I picked up boxing as well, try this out, beating up a heavy bag is a good stress reliever
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    She has lost her dignity several times over by the sounds of it, where did she win?
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    Yeah I will commit to doing my best to enjoy 2011 by coming to terms with my hair loss. Ultimately thats the root of all this insecurity. I just feel its happened too early in my life (early 20's). I don't think an event like seeing her new bf would have even have phased me if I was confident about myself. I'd probably feel sympathy for the guy because I know what he's about to get himself into... Hopefully he will learn sooner than I did though.
 
 
 
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