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I will almost certinally die by suicide at some point in my life... Watch

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    As title says, I know I will.

    My general feeling is that it will be sooner (not next week, but I mean not in 50 years time) rather than later. However I just feel that, at some point, something will happen that will give me that final push.

    I don't know why I started this thread, I suspect that it is early in the morning and I tend to feel worse in these hours, and that I needed to write it down.

    I have lost all enthusiasm for my University course, havn't (really) fully gotten over the previous depressive episode I went through, though I'm nowhere near as bad at this point, and I'm just generally unhappy, for reasons I can't explain.

    I'm not saying I'm on the edge now, though I am clearly unhappy, just....as the title says.

    PS: I didn't post anon because I have tried to a while ago and the mods won't allow me to post this anon.
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    I have been in that situation for years. Unfortunately, despite always thinking: "it will not get worse, surely", it always does get worse...severely. All you can do is hope that it's an episode of regular sadness, rather than a mental illness. I almost killed myself 4 months ago, and was terrifyingly close to dying in hospital as a result. That has happened twice, but hopefully not again

    Even if you are not as enamoured of your uni course as you used to be, there are other beautiful and inspiring things to live for. For me, it is music; I literally do not sleep for days sometimes, I just listen to Chopin Rachmaninov, Liszt and others. What else in life are you passionate about? I find that that is what helps.
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    :console: Life is hard, but we just have to embrace it with it's all difficulties. Be strong.

    Have you ever considered talking to a counsellor? I would recommend that you do - talking will help you clear your mind and find solutions to your problems. (I'm saying this by my personal experience)

    Oh and your thread will be closed by mods, I suspect. :unsure:
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    Get some help. I used to have the same mindset, and it can change. Things can change.

    If you're at uni and having problems, get in touch with the doctors at your university, or find out if they have a separate counselling service. Are you being seen by anyone at all? Trudging through university whilst hating your course isn't going to make you feel any happier. You might not be as bad as you were, but it sounds as though you're on a downwards spiral, and it getting worse is the last thing you need. Act before it's too late. I let things go a bit last year as I hated the course I was on and regressed quite badly after being 'healthy' for several months, and it took me a long time to get my head sorted again.

    It doesn't always have to be like this; it gets better. But you have to help it get better.
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    (Original post by INTJ)
    I have been in that situation for years. Unfortunately, despite always thinking: "it will not get worse, surely", it always does get worse...severely. All you can do is hope that it's an episode of regular sadness, rather than a mental illness. I almost killed myself 4 months ago, and was terrifyingly close to dying in hospital as a result. That has happened twice, but hopefully not again

    Even if you are not as enamoured of your uni course as you used to be, there are other beautiful and inspiring things to live for. For me, it is music; I literally do not sleep for days sometimes, I just listen to Chopin Rachmaninov, Liszt and others. What else in life are you passionate about? I find that that is what helps.
    Yes, it seems as though we have had similar experiences, all be it your's more recent. I took an overdose on 16th November 2009.

    My other interests? Gliding is one, qualified pilot. But that is fun really, not a career, or at least certinally not a serious one. Anyway Uni is just one thing amongst many, you know what I mean.
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    As title says, I know I will.

    My general feeling is that it will be sooner (not next week, but I mean not in 50 years time) rather than later. However I just feel that, at some point, something will happen that will give me that final push.

    I don't know why I started this thread, I suspect that it is early in the morning and I tend to feel worse in these hours, and that I needed to write it down.

    I have lost all enthusiasm for my University course, havn't (really) fully gotten over the previous depressive episode I went through, though I'm nowhere near as bad at this point, and I'm just generally unhappy, for reasons I can't explain.

    I'm not saying I'm on the edge now, though I am clearly unhappy, just....as the title says.

    PS: I didn't post anon because I have tried to a while ago and the mods won't allow me to post this anon.
    I think you should go see a GP, though you don't mean the immediate future, you are still having suicidal thoughts, and I think you may need some counseling.

    Chin up OP, I understand what you mean about feeling generally unhappy for no apparent reason, but that is a sign of depression. You really should see your GP or talk to someone you trust, even talking about stuff like this can help, even if it isn't to a psychologist.
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    sounds like you're still depressed :/ distorts your view of the world and makes it almost impossible to ever imagine feeling differently. go and chat to your doctor or something, you might be prescribed something that alters the release of certain hormones/activity of neurotransmitters (...straining to think back to AS psychology...) that might be playing a part in getting you down. or if it's your surroundings/thought patterns that can be changed too. no point in being unhappy on your own when you have the chance to get help.
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    (Original post by lonely14)
    :console: Life is hard, but we just have to embrace it with it's all difficulties. Be strong.

    Have you ever considered talking to a counsellor? I would recommend that you do - talking will help you clear your mind and find solutions to your problems. (I'm saying this by my personal experience)

    Oh and your thread will be closed by mods, I suspect. :unsure:
    I don't think this thread will be closed, they are surposed to only close threads if the OP is offensive etc, they just didn't want me to post this anon a while back.

    Anyway I have taken an overdose before, and gone through all that then.
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    Go out for a jog to clear up your mind up a bit

    I am off out for a jog in about an hour too!
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    Yes, it seems as though we have had similar experiences, all be it your's more recent. I took an overdose on 16th November 2009.

    My other interests? Gliding is one, qualified pilot. But that is fun really, not a career, or at least certinally not a serious one. Anyway Uni is just one thing amongst many, you know what I mean.
    Even if being a pilot is not your career, it doesn't make it any relevant to your life. A career is essentially just a means to earning money: enjoying it is just a bonus. But I know what you mean. I really think I would have been better off doing biology/zoology, as my passion is the conservation of marine life. That and music are my ardent passions...I will just have to pursue both as a hobby.

    Either way, it's just beat to remember that these things usually do pass, unless it's something innately wrong with your brain (chemical imbalance). If you decided you couldn't stand your course, you could always stop it and follow a different path. Life gives us many opportunities to alter our path.
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    any less relevant*
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    Well, you need to see someone then don't you.

    No one on here has the magic cure.
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    I don't think this thread will be closed, they are surposed to only close threads if the OP is offensive etc, they just didn't want me to post this anon a while back.

    Anyway I have taken an overdose before, and gone through all that then.
    You might be right, but they actually close the thread if the OP is in a sensitive situation such as considering suicide, in case people make some rude and insensitive comments.

    Like this one
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...533&highlight=

    I'm not really good at giving advice, but I sincerely hope that it works out for you mate.
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    (Original post by lonely14)
    You might be right, but they actually close the thread if the OP is in a sensitive situation such as considering suicide, in case people make some rude and insensitive comments.

    Like this one
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...533&highlight=

    I'm not really good at giving advice, but I sincerely hope that it works out for you mate.
    Thankyou, well I have written many suicide/depression threads last year and they seem to let people discuss things for help etc.

    Thankyou for your support.
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    Think carefully about where you stand. Maybe you need to bite the bullet and rethink your life. If university is depressing you that much, can you take half a year off for psychiatric reasons?
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    (Original post by Liquidus Zeromus)
    Think carefully about where you stand. Maybe you need to bite the bullet and rethink your life. If university is depressing you that much, can you take half a year off for psychiatric reasons?
    I did last year.
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    Do you want us to talk you out of it? Suicide is a complicated issue, but I believe if someone is truly unhappy with no means of escape and have tried to resolve any problems, they are perfectly within their right to end their life. So I mean, I can only assume the reason you posted this was because you want to be talked out of it?
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    (Original post by edd360)
    Do you want us to talk you out of it? Suicide is a complicated issue, but I believe if someone is truly unhappy with no means of escape and have tried to resolve any problems, they are perfectly within their right to end their life. So I mean, I can only assume the reason you posted this was because you want to be talked out of it?
    I said in my OP that I don't know why I posted it, I didn't want to be talked out of anything, I never really thought of that. Inevitably with posts like these however there will always be the hope that someone will be able to 'show you the light'.
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    OP, you must have a counsellor or support services at your uni? I would advise you to get in touch with them asap, if you tell them how you feel they should be able to see you quite quickly. I really think you need to speak to someone, so please take this step.
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    (Original post by tbm)
    OP, you must have a counsellor or support services at your uni? I would advise you to get in touch with them asap, if you tell them how you feel they should be able to see you quite quickly. I really think you need to speak to someone, so please take this step.
    Thankyou for your advice. I took an overdose around this time last year whilst at University, so something tells me that they wouldn't be too slow to say "I think it's best you go home" if I were to go to them.

    Actually I must admit, thinking back to this time last year also, that one of the other posters on this thread is right, I am on a downward spiral, and it is a slippery slope.

    I'd like to know why on Earth I feel like this, but for some reason I just cannot explain it entirely. Yeah my return to University hasn't gone to plan, difficult relationship with my parents (who weren't overly supportive when I was depressed/suicide attemp last year). I feel as though I've had the best days of my life, everything will just go downhill from here, and that I do just want to be with the angels.

    I know this may sound strange (having said that I know others who have experienced it), but I used to feel bad only at night if I were tired (no idea why), but it has gotten rather worse and I do feel like crap during the day, even now, with the thoughts described above. And you know what, the people who start these threads to get attention (as well as the people who troll on them) think that suicide is some kind of 'big step' and that they are invincible, but having been there, suicide and death is just so close to hand. I'm not referring to the availability of drugs/etc but I mean it doesn't take alot, you know?

    Sorry, I'm rambling, just putting my thoughts into words really. But I do also think taht not committing suicide sooner rather than later is delaying the inevitable (title of my thread), and ofcourse people die eventually anyway.

    I am in contact with samaritans, as some people suggested getting in contact with someone. They are quite good at helping you think through things a little more logically, but to be fair they can't do much more because of the nature of their service (though you can meet with them actually, though I'd rather not).

    Actually, and this may come as a surprise halfway through this post, but I've actually just had a bit of a lift. One of the things I am worrying about is that, because my return to University hasn't been as smooth as I would have hoped (which given what happened last year, I really should have expected more), that I wouldn't get all of the work done for revision by the time exams come round in January. But I've just looked at my University website and realised I have rather more time than expected. Still very stressed, but had a little bit of a lift I must admit. Anyway as described above, it is more than that really.
 
 
 
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