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Found out the guy I like smokes/takes the occasional pill on nights out... Watch

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    I was pretty shocked to be honest(more about the pill)! We had a very temporary thing ages ago and he did none of these things. I met him on a night out and he smokes whilst drinking(although when I said I didn't like it, said 'well put it this way, if I was around you more that would stop) - and told me he and his friends had taken a pill earlier in the night. I wouldn't have even noticed.

    I really like him, he cares about me a lot and we get on well, and it's developing into something more now, but honestly that isn't my kind of thing at all, not to mention I want to kiss him but hate doing it when he smokes. It must be something he's just started doing because I've known him a long time and it seems recent. What would you do? :confused:
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      He's one step off telling you his new TV 'fell off the back of a van'.
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      (Original post by ritchie888)
      He's one step off telling you his new TV 'fell off the back of a van'.
      Eh...?
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      That is real heavy. for me that is a sure sign to leave i am sure you can find someone who loves you just as much and even more , but who is not a ticking time bomb. Unless you want to play Dr. Quinn Leave now while it is still early.
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      (Original post by Vozhak)
      That is real heavy. for me that is a sure sign to leave i am sure you can find someone who loves you just as much and even more , but who is not a ticking time bomb. Unless you want to play Dr. Quinn Leave now while it is still early.
      When everything started between us he did nothing more than drink occasionally, and we are very close - been friends for years and now its developing. Urgh, wish he'd never started this, even just on nights out I think you're right though...
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Eh...?
      I think that post meant

      he's the sort of person who you don't ask where the tv ps3 came from, ask no questions sort of person....dodgey dealings think del boy :confused:
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      How about instead of being a selfish little ***** and trying to impose your beliefs onto him, you back the **** off and let him do what he wants? Who cares if you don't like smoking, don't turn something which is YOUR problem into someone else's problem. If you have a problem with it, you have to deal with it. Find someone who doesn't smoke, or learn to accept people for who they are.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      I was pretty shocked to be honest(more about the pill)! We had a very temporary thing ages ago and he did none of these things. I met him on a night out and he smokes whilst drinking(although when I said I didn't like it, said 'well put it this way, if I was around you more that would stop) - and told me he and his friends had taken a pill earlier in the night. I wouldn't have even noticed.
      Erectile dysfunction is far more common than you might think. Don't you get Viagra spam emails?
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      A pill? Smokes when drinking?

      He's hardly the scourge of the Earth OP. Give him a chance and talk to him about it if it really is an issue.
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      (Original post by RAPSTER)
      I think that post meant

      he's the sort of person who you don't ask where the tv ps3 came from, ask no questions sort of person....dodgey dealings think del boy :confused:
      Kushti. No, but he's not some sort of pillhead ha ha, he does it very occasionally. He seemed like the last person to do it though...I'm just gutted about it to be honest, because I have feelings for him but I know myself and I couldn't be bothered with it!
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      I was pretty shocked to be honest(more about the pill)! We had a very temporary thing ages ago and he did none of these things. I met him on a night out and he smokes whilst drinking(although when I said I didn't like it, said 'well put it this way, if I was around you more that would stop) - and told me he and his friends had taken a pill earlier in the night. I wouldn't have even noticed.

      I really like him, he cares about me a lot and we get on well, and it's developing into something more now, but honestly that isn't my kind of thing at all, not to mention I want to kiss him but hate doing it when he smokes. It must be something he's just started doing because I've known him a long time and it seems recent. What would you do? :confused:
      It's only a pill, like you said you didn't even notice. Smoky breath is not so nice on the other hand, though if he said he would stop...
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      (Original post by edd360)
      How about instead of being a selfish little ***** and trying to impose your beliefs onto him, you back the **** off and let him do what he wants? Who cares if you don't like smoking, don't turn something which is YOUR problem into someone else's problem. If you have a problem with it, you have to deal with it. Find someone who doesn't smoke, or learn to accept people for who they are.
      Would you want your daughter going out wiht someone who takes pills?
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      (Original post by edd360)
      How about instead of being a selfish little ***** and trying to impose your beliefs onto him, you back the **** off and let him do what he wants? Who cares if you don't like smoking, don't turn something which is YOUR problem into someone else's problem. If you have a problem with it, you have to deal with it. Find someone who doesn't smoke, or learn to accept people for who they are.
      No need to get abusive about it! It's not like I've given him a lecture on the issue...
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      (Original post by LeeC)
      It's only a pill, like you said you didn't even notice. Smoky breath is not so nice on the other hand, though if he said he would stop...
      Oh yeah only a pill? Pills can contain anything ..rat posion, bleech , anti freeze rat droppings etc
      That can lead to death? Brain damage? Heart problems?
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      if youre that blindly judgemental (im assuming youve never tried pills so your opinion on them is completely invalid and ill informed) then its the guy thats dodged a bullet and youll just have to carry on being alone!
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      (Original post by edd360)
      How about instead of being a selfish little ***** and trying to impose your beliefs onto him, you back the **** off and let him do what he wants? Who cares if you don't like smoking, don't turn something which is YOUR problem into someone else's problem. If you have a problem with it, you have to deal with it. Find someone who doesn't smoke, or learn to accept people for who they are.

      No idea why this is being negged, took the words straight out of my head, I've tried to balance it out with + rep!

      The man has a point! What kind of relationship do you envision having if all you're going to do is force your beliefs on him? If you were Catholic and he was an Atheist, would you constantly be telling him to come to church, say grace at dinner? It's his own body, and his own life, he can do whatever the hell he wants with it. If he wants to change for you, props to him, but you should never try to change someone because it's self conceited and selfish to change people to suit your own needs.

      There are 6 billion people on this planet, if you don't like the habits of one of them, find someone else!
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      How old is he? Everyone experiments with drugs. It's not like it's a major problem or anything.

      Maybe it's just me, but I don't notice the smokey taste when I kiss people who smoke :mute:

      I'd back off about it if I were you. I dated someone who tried to stop me smoking weed, and there is nothing more annoying than being told what to do by a do-gooder, especially when you're seeing them.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Would you want your daughter going out wiht someone who takes pills?
      You completely do not see my point do you. Doing pills doesn't make you a bad person, regardless of whether bad people do pills. I would be less shallow when judging my daughter's boyfriend, and would actually like to do it a more more objectionable way, as this is more fair. If the guy was a nice guy, I honestly would have no problem with it. If I wouldn't want my daughter going out with him, it wouldn't be because he took the occasional pill. You don't realise do you, nor do 99% of people here, but not going out with someone because of something like this IS NO different then rejecting someone based on their religion.
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      he can do what he wants, if you don't like it no one is forcing you to be around him.
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      If you like him and he makes you happy theres no need to let this get in the way. You shouldn't try and change him though that will cause more problems. Just let him know that you dont like it, and you would appreciate it if he didnt do it while he was out with you because you dont like the smell, etc, but it's ok if he's just out with his mates or something? From a lads point of view, you cant say fairer than that
     
     
     
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