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Am lost and don't know what to do with my life.. needing some advice! :) Watch

    • Thread Starter

    So its another confused life thread..but I really would love some advice as I am really stuck-I am sorry to whinge on about myself but if you are prepared to listen then please read on
    I am now 20 - I went to boarding school and did ok; I got A levels in Fine Art (A), Spanish (B) and Biology (B) and then AS levels in French and Photography.

    I had no idea what I should do back then, but felt I was best and enjoyed art the most, so went on to do an art foundation course. I even got a letter saying my AS result was in the top 6 in the country, but I think thats just because I did exactly as my teacher told me to.
    I enjoyed doing all the different rotations of art disciplines but had to decide our "path" by Christmas, so I went or the safe option and did Art. I hated it and my tutor at first...I couldn't paint and hated the work I was producing (it was crap compared to everyone elses) and failed (for the first time!), while feeling unchallenged after my A levels.
    In the end I decided on doing Landscape Architecture and started doing all these fun projects, and felt really excited and focussed for the first time!, and passed my Foundation course with a merit.

    However when I was there, I was only in once a week and mixed up with architecture students and it was so completely different from the courses I had looked at that I felt cheated. The first 6 weeks were all about dance while when we finally came to design I was so confused on what I was supposed to be doing I failed again, and by January I quit cos I was so fed up - I hated the course and all the people I had met on it and the people in my flat aswell.

    I have now moved back home and really don't know what to do next - I quit uni thinking I would reapply and do some travelling but has not worked out like that! I have been completely put off by Landscape Architecture and now have no real interest in it - maybe it just wasn't meant to be!
    I have been looking at every job and course under the sun - I found some courses that looked interesting (nutrition, graphic design, creative writing), but I don't have the right qualifications! Chemistry A level is way too hard for me while English Literature hasn't ever interested me - I am no good with big long hard books like Jane Eyre or Chaucer. I thought Graphic Design might be good, but the jobs don't look so great - minimum wage and designing logos, or heartless advertising? Now I am not even sure I want to go back to uni - loads of people younger than me and looking to get drunk and then being in debt for a very long time. I just feel like I am crap at everything and none of work sticks out from a crowd - that I am destined to work in a supermarket for the rest of my life!

    I just don't feel like myself anymore; I am completely unfocussed and unmotivated, I can spend a whole day in bed on my days off doing nothing and practically rotting away - I feel like there's nothing worth getting up and leaving the house for. I really miss all my university friends and its really hard missing out on stuff. I can sleep for 10 hours plus and still feel tired. I have put on over a stone too - I am trying but in the end it feels like too much and I am still exhausted despite eating heathily and doing exercise, and then I am back at square one rotting and with a messy room.

    I really want to go travelling and am starting work as a carer and have some money save from working in a supermarket but I need to sort myself out before I go - for a start I am unfit, but in the end I'll come back and be confused again.

    I really need some advice to get me on the go again - before I turn into an obese vegetable!
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