In love with my best friend

I know this sounds silly, and you'll probably all think I'm really sad, but its true.
I have this friend, probably my best friend who I'm really close to. We're really similar and I tell him everything. And recently I feel as though we've been becoming closer and closer. So much so that I feel as though I'm falling in love, so much so that I get jealous when he's with other people, even one of our other friends.

Obviously I don't want to feel like this, we're both straight, really! I just want to be normal, but I can't afford to lose him, he's the best friend I've ever had.

What do I do? :confused:

Reply 1

joey11223

are you certain he doesn't have similar feelings?

Reply 2

unknownking321

You sit down with him and talk to him. Birds will tweet in the clear blue sky. He will feel the same and you'll have orgasmic sex or he won't but he'll want to stay good friends. The worse case scenario is he does a runner. Then it's his loss.

Love Guru
:tongue:

imp:

Reply 3

bubba.ok

Ohh that's a really tuff situation because you don't want to risk ruining anything you have now but you also don't want to lose him if you decide to say anything. I would suggest you tread the water a bit and hint to see if he feels the same way. If you get bad vibes just try and move on and keep him as a good friend. If you do get good vibes, maybe talk to him about it properly.
But if you're meant to be straight i can't really understand what you could want to happen other than friends.

Reply 4

Jellybean91

Original post by Anonymous

are you a guy??

Reply 5

Laertes

I'm calling shenanigans on you both being straight.

Reply 6

joey11223

Original post by Laertes

I'm calling shenanigans on you both being straight.

oh **** I read OP's post wrong and assumed OP was female and this was her guy friend. So...they're both male but OP insists he's straight then? I'm tired...but that makes it much more complex.

Reply 7

Laertes

Original post by joey11223

oh **** I read OP's post wrong and assumed OP was female and this was her guy friend. So...they're both male but OP insists he's straight then? I'm tired...but that makes it much more complex.

That's the impression I got.

Reply 8

joey11223

Original post by Laertes

That's the impression I got.

ah right. OP assuming you really do like girls maybe you're bi-sexual? No shame in it...though admitting your feelings to him if they're genuine and him not returning them would be rather mortifying. If a guy said to me loved me out of the blue in that way I'd just say I was flattered but was straight. He'd be totally devastated and embarrassed, I'd have to give him a big hug and calm him down. Hopefully he'd be able to handle it, I certainly wouldn't change the friendship, but obviously it would be difficult for both parties.

Reply 9

bananaterracottapie

well im not sure if this is terrible advice but:

personally, id try and cut the amount of time you spend with him, and see if the feeling passes, it might be that your merely infatuated with him...imo it isnt worth risking your friendship, if you feel like hes the best friend you've ever had....

im only saying this because i seriously got obsessive over my friend and it completely ruined our friendship...

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 10

Gilbird

Same, only differences is that I definitely like guys. I don't know what to do either, but I'm holding this out cause I don't wanna lose him as a friend. Besides we're in year 13 so Uni next year will change things. I'll prob fall for some other guy/girl. I still want him so bad though :/

Reply 11

067yjonesd1

Never know.. if you tell eachother everything and are such close friends I don't think he'd care if you told him :P I know I wouldnt mind if one of my friendstold me that :P

Reply 12

trooper6

Original post by Anonymous

There was this girl that approached me in a club one night and asked me to go back to hers. I told her that I didn’t do friends. Her response was, “If you don’t do your friends then exactly who do you do?” Tbh, that really caught me off guard. Since then I have reflected on that statement quite a bit and came to realize that the person you are in a relationship with should be your best friend, or it’s not much of a relationship is it?

Either best friends come and go or relationships come and go. The choice is yours, unless they get into a relationship of course.

Reply 13

alharrison4

If you're not sexually attracted to him, perhaps you just really respect and admire him, and really appreciate your great friendship, so much that you feel a little posessive over it? If you're such good friends and spend so much time with this guy, it's hardly surprising that you might be confused about how strongly you feel. It doesn't necessarily mean that you really fancy him.

Reply 14

insertnamehere

Original post by alharrison4

This.

It's easy to mistake admiration and friendly love with romantic love. So I wouldn't worry too much OP. Just wait a while till you do anything that you'd regret. If you really do love him, though, and think that you can take the risk, tell him. Maybe he's just as confused as you. Just test the waters first.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 15

067yjonesd1

Yeah btw if you love him then you're Bi, and that's how you'll probably be for the rest of your life :tongue:

either live with it or hide it but prob best not to hide it coz it usually comes out and can ruin ur life wen too late?

Reply 16

greenboy

I've kinda had this.

Personally I think it is perfectly possible to to genuinely love a friend. The whole hog, except without the whole "butterflies and racing heart when you see them" thing, which I understand is unique to literally "being in love".

I'm a guy and have a best friend who's a girl, we had a sexual relationship as "friends with benefits" for several months, and became virtually a couple.

But in the end we knew we weren't in love and weren't going to be, despite loving each other, so have gone back to being 'just' friends and it's totally fine. In fact trying that made us stronger.

Reply 17

insertnamehere

Original post by greenboy

Wow! Good for you, man! I know a lot of friendships screwed (no pun intended) that way.. I'm glad it made you both better friends. You're very lucky. :smile: