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How to recover from being spiked in the past? Watch

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    I think I got spiked nearly a year ago. It was the worst thing to have happened to me in life, was depressed about it. Lost everything on me. It cost a lot to recover.

    How do people recover from these things?

    Do you feel awkward going out after and trusting people again?

    Also more specifically to anyone who has been sexually harassed, after being spiked, how do you cope with relationships after?

    I don't remember a large chunk, would say most of the night on Xmas. Was technically missing, all my belongings were gone. Puked for the 1st time ever when drinking not much. Am usually a very heavy drinker and am usually fine, never puked. Don't remember puke but was covered in it after I was conscious again from being blacked out for hours.

    Is depression a likely symptom and what is the best way to deal with such things? Do people usually cut down on drinking out again? I would prefer to have a bottle of cider when out, or anything bottled, it is a tad strange to be specific like this when out. I really don't go out at all as much as I used to now.
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    awww i'm sorry to hear that hopefully within time you'll be able to regain the confidence you once had. Just be extra cautious when out and never leave your drink. Try not to let it affect enjoying yourself too much.
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    BumperBo thinks you should just get over it, it doesnt sound like a big deal it's not like they took your kidney
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    Could be worse. At least you werent raped.
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    I once read a study in which 100% of the people in a hospital I think in Perth who were brought in for drink spiking had blood tests, and 100% of them had nothing but alcohol in their blood. Spiking is a bit of a myth, you probably just had a few too many vodkas and then drank more in the parts of the night which you can't remember!
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    Puking up and not being able to remember the night before has happened to me loads of times and isn't really a sign of being 'spiked' do you actually know for sure that your drink was actually spiked. Maybe just go out with fried s you can trust to look after you and just drink shots or don't put your drink down. Didn't think it was that prevalent to be honest.
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    Was with a girl, only knew her. Met up at her house about 7-8pm, she made it a mission, got to club after midnight Xmas. I remember drinking a bit of sambucca, vodbull and that was it. I was 19 last year, have been drinking a lot before 18 but cut down on drinking since 18, to only a few now and again. Am used to drinking and have always been safe.

    Wokeup next day, didn't know what time it was, where I was nothing. It was in a hotel room with a man, he was supposed to be the girl I was with's close guy friend and she said he's like a brother. He was her sister who passed away's bf when she was alive, she recently died in an accident before this incident. I didn't remember a thing, how I got there etc. It turned out I got home 3pm, instead of 3am. I am virgin, no experience and didn't like this man at all in any way. As soon as I was conscious I wanted to get out of there and go home. He goes he lost his virginity to the girl who passed away, whether I am a virgin.

    My bra was on weirdly and my skinny jeans which are hard to take off, smart fitted were soaked wet and off. My top was drenched in puke. My designer glasses, bag, shoes were gone. The bag had my phone, lots of cash and all my cards, oyster, nus, uni ID, drivers liscence etc, there was a scarf in there too. My sterling celtic knecklace had a special stone on it, it is clasped on and hard to take off. That was gone, also earrings. All in all my replacement designer glasses + phone cost £300, wrote my parents a cheque for it, then replacing all those cards. The shoes were designer, jewellry too so I lost a good few £100's all in all. This man is mental and was telling me I was trying to do sexual things with him, how I bit his lip etc. Thing is like I said I am a virgin, no experience at all and am not like this. He goes I should dress up like the girl who he lost his virginity to and passed away's sister, that I should wear more revealing clothes.

    I wasn't stupid, as soon as I was sober after hours and didn't know wtf happened, took initiative and told him to ring the girl I was supposed to be with, who I had told specifically to make sure I get home OK. She couldn't do that though and left me, don't know how this happened and she was really not understanding how much I lost and what the man did to me, as he is supposed to be like her brother but not by blood. They didn't want me taking MAP but I did, had to ask how to take it etc as I wouldn't know these things about sex. They were claiming I shouldn't take it, am not stupid knew it was better safe than sorry even after paying £20 for one pill. I'm also British Indian, Hindu born. My parents were really worried.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Was with a girl, only knew her. Met up at her house about 7-8pm, she made it a mission, got to club after midnight Xmas. I remember drinking a bit of sambucca, vodbull and that was it. I was 19 last year, have been drinking a lot before 18 but cut down on drinking since 18, to only a few now and again. Am used to drinking and have always been safe.

    Wokeup next day, didn't know what time it was, where I was nothing. It was in a hotel room with a man, he was supposed to be the girl I was with's close guy friend and she said he's like a brother. He was her sister who passed away's bf when she was alive, she recently died in an accident before this incident. I didn't remember a thing, how I got there etc. It turned out I got home 3pm, instead of 3am. I am virgin, no experience and didn't like this man at all in any way. As soon as I was conscious I wanted to get out of there and go home. He goes he lost his virginity to the girl who passed away, whether I am a virgin.

    My bra was on weirdly and my skinny jeans which are hard to take off, smart fitted were soaked wet and off. My top was drenched in puke. My designer glasses, bag, shoes were gone. The bag had my phone, lots of cash and all my cards, oyster, nus, uni ID, drivers liscence etc, there was a scarf in there too. My sterling celtic knecklace had a special stone on it, it is clasped on and hard to take off. That was gone, also earrings. All in all my replacement designer glasses + phone cost £300, wrote my parents a cheque for it, then replacing all those cards. The shoes were designer, jewellry too so I lost a good few £100's all in all. This man is mental and was telling me I was trying to do sexual things with him, how I bit his lip etc. Thing is like I said I am a virgin, no experience at all and am not like this. He goes I should dress up like the girl who he lost his virginity to and passed away's sister, that I should wear more revealing clothes.

    I wasn't stupid, as soon as I was sober after hours and didn't know wtf happened, took initiative and told him to ring the girl I was supposed to be with, who I had told specifically to make sure I get home OK. She couldn't do that though and left me, don't know how this happened and she was really not understanding how much I lost and what the man did to me, as he is supposed to be like her brother but not by blood. They didn't want me taking MAP but I did, had to ask how to take it etc as I wouldn't know these things about sex. They were claiming I shouldn't take it, am not stupid knew it was better safe than sorry even after paying £20 for one pill. I'm also British Indian, Hindu born. My parents were really worried.
    lolwut?
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    The girl I was with kept telling me to come out, I was working the day before and had just started a really good job. Lost that job after this, no phone to contact me on and was in a bad state recovering. My body ached and was trying to remember things. My parents stayed up all night and couldn't contact me because I was unaware of anything, phone went.

    This man told me how apparently I was kicked out of the bar when he thought I should have fresh air, wasn't aloud back in. How I was apparently talking to people I didn't know some black dude and getting friendly. How the police nearly arrested me and said if I don't go away in 10-15mins they'll take me to a cell. (I remember nothing and don't know if he made all this up.) So he goes that is why he had to take me into a cab to a hotel. (I don't believe or know what to believe.) How he couldn't ring the girl who was supposed to have taken care of me. She literally didn't care about me. I lied to my parents when they said if any man did anything to me, said she was with me and I went to her house.

    I made this man take me to her house, borrow her shoes which were bigger size and clearly not mine. Tried covering the puke with aftershave, told her to come to my house and how she has to tell my parents she was with me the whole time and I was OK. Just say hi to them. Thought of this as soon as I was woken up next to a man I didn't know at a hotel room, felt sick but had to unfix this mess she put me in.

    Anyways so I now find this girl who I was with, who was from my highschool and is a year behind me now at uni. She's dropped out, got engaged asap and is already married so fast, this is highly uncommon; found some things out and it seems am about 85% sure she's pregnant. I just feel sick, we have different goals in life and I want to just concentrate on University and studies, get good grades and hope to have enough of an education and money to do a Postgraduate scheme abroad.
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    I know it sounds dramatic, too much information, hard to believe. Wish it didn't happen but it did. Can't sleep but am going to get some rest. Had a pregnancy scare this time and find it weird this girl is now dropping out, marrying and pregnant.

    Thought she was an OK person but isn't, she was sleeping around with random guys in high school and knows a lot about sex but not enough about caring for friends or protection.

    Want to spend Xmas alone. Was one of my favourite holidays but just feel like **** after this. I'm an extrovert, coped OK at times by making myself busy with studies and work, finding something funny to laugh at or have a few close caring mates. I just come from an area and went to a rough highschool where these things were normal, to waste life away. So my aims are to just move on and the best way to deal with it, is by running away into a hopeful future, if that makes any sense.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know it sounds dramatic, too much information, hard to believe. Wish it didn't happen but it did. Can't sleep but am going to get some rest. Had a pregnancy scare this time and find it weird this girl is now dropping out, marrying and pregnant.

    Thought she was an OK person but isn't, she was sleeping around with random guys in high school and knows a lot about sex but not enough about caring for friends or protection.

    Want to spend Xmas alone. Was one of my favourite holidays but just feel like **** after this. I'm an extrovert, coped OK at times by making myself busy with studies and work, finding something funny to laugh at or have a few close caring mates. I just come from an area and went to a rough highschool where these things were normal, to waste life away. So my aims are to just move on and the best way to deal with it, is by running away into a hopeful future, if that makes any sense.
    Good luck. :hugs:
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    I missed the part where this man who was telling me what happened from his nasty mouth, said how apparently I told the cops that I was married to him so they let me off. (Don't remember but I would have to say, if I was in such a sticky situation where I didn't even know someone but was in trouble. Then that would be the first thing that would come to my head. Hypothetically speaking would grab any sane looking guy in my radius and make them act it out.) Though in that state, no idea how that would've been possible, am pretty sure I would remember myself being in such **** and trying to wisearse myself out of it. He also goes I bit his lip so hard that he has a bruise. I've never kissed anyone before and can only wonder why I would do that unless someone forced themself on me, then he goes how I look good naked and am a good kisser. Wasn't physically attracted to him at all. I had bruises from apparently falling lots.

    His story was not making sense AT ALL and he was telling me about the girl who he was in a relationship with, she had passed away from a tragic car crash, this incident is in the news and the law case had been reappealed after and mentioned a few times. He's a manager, just think he needs to see a shrink. There was no way I could report this as it is shameful, being an Indian, Hindu born girl.

    Arg am pissed off. Why can't everyone just be a nerd or have some integrity. This girl also had lots of Hindu tattoos over her body yet walks around clubs without her bf there, in hotpants during Winter and a see through vest which you can see her bra showing in -.- I don't practice Hinduism but it gets me all the more tending towards Atheism... If people claim to be good little angels to show they're religious yet aren't, then I really don't understand the point of faking their morality!
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    Holy ****.
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    Thanks for listening... I am fairly confident but since uni, my college mates all moved out far and I live at home, don't really get many people to talk to about things. I have an older sister 4yrs older who went to a uni that is just after Oxbridge on league tables, we don't get along and are opposites, she doesn't socialise at all and is very cold and unfriendly person. Can't talk to cousins as our families broke up a few years ago, my sister was at USA/ Canada when I was spiked and I didn't even know she was going on holiday then, have told her nothing as she will turn it around at me being a *****. Her only friend is her bf, she shakes her head disappointedly at me if I am out socialising. Can even talk to my parents slightly more about things than to her... Really would prefer not to tell someone real life everything, it is too much to say and wouldn't even know where to start off with. Since our family is quite ****ed up, I make friends fast to make up for it.

    A guy took care of me who I was supposed to have been out with on Xmas, he was at another bar instead though. The nicest guy I've ever met and I appreciate him being there for me once I told him some of the story, I told him I took the MAP incase and think I was spiked. He knows most bar owners and was really worried so came over a few times, I fancied him but I think he felt somewhat guilty and we don't talk anymore even as freinds just somehow grew apart. We were sort of going out after but it was complex, didn't last long but was good whilst it did as I honestly needed him a lot and he was very caring about it during the time.

    Since this happened, have made a few good mates who are there for me and oh lord how I appreciate having sane friends. People who have goals in life, study and work hard yet know how to be safe when out. I don't hang around with anyone from my highschool which was in my area nor anyone in my town because I know it literally ****s me over. Moved to a middle class 6th form for 2years and it was the best time of my life. Uni just felt like I was studying and doing well in 1st year but it felt like I didn't make friends who I could be friends with, was more like having coworkers.

    Was incredibly popular in college but uni was unsociable and difficult to make friends, 2nd year made friends and final year now have made the best mates during my time at uni I didn't go out let alone drink in 1st year at all as people didn't seem to go out and it was all about studying, 2nd year few times but now my close girl mate takes care of me lots and we're always there for eachother. It was a swaying learning point, friends are quality and not quantity. I just thought the girl from Xmas would surely be an OK person, has probably grown up and can't be judged by her cover, people deserve 2nd chances but nope sometimes people want different things from life. I try to scrub the ghetto off me as much as I can and try to stay away from heffers; but try to find a cool nerd in the ghetto, is like finding a bloody needle in a haystack. Rare.
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    Told my friend today who I saw after ages, she was on her way to uni, we went to the same high school together then moved to the same 6th form. It has been nearly a year, she asked whether I changed my phone number because she texted me but on the old one. So I explained whether she remembers the girl from highschool and how things have changed, my phone was one of the things that went when out with the silly girl. My friend asked me questions and I answered them more than I've told anyone with the details, of waking up with the man. She said I should've reported it as anyone could've raped me. Am worried she's going to tell someone but told her have moved on from it but never expected the girl from high school to be like this, thought she would've changed and been OK.

    My friend said I shouldn't trust people, the girl seemed quiet but was a black horse, her very eldery parents don't work and probably have no control of her. Am aware she is poor and from a council estate, parents are very old but don't see how it makes it certain for someone to turn out so messed up. Talked to her parents and they seemed very nice and friendly, her parents were still depressed grieving over their older daughter passing away, dealing with the law suits etc. Whilst the younger one is like that. It made me feel better to finally atleast tell my friend about her, as we meet up and hang out sometimes in the daytime when it isn't term time. Although I could never tell someone everything, particularly if the person am speaking to is naive and innocent which my friend is. I just felt like I had noone to mention it to, the people who I want to talk to aren't nearby and have all moved out to study far. If I told people who care about it, they may want to beat the people I was with up or make me report it. I most certainly won't mention anything to my older sister, she's cold and not at all understanding, makes me wonder if she ever understands the kids she teaches. Other than being students, beyond that I simply think she fails to see them as human beings growing and with other things going on in their lives other than having to get good grades.
 
 
 
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