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Where do I stand with the guy?! Watch

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    I just wanted to get an opinion really of what guys / anyone’s opinion would be on this situation.

    OK, so basically I split up with my ex and was on the rebound. Went out, got drunk, and went home with a guy. Yeah, I know, I don’t want a lecture – it happened. I regretted it.

    Then this guy starts texting me and stuff and just so I didn’t feel like such a skank more than anything else, I chatted back to him – talked, got on, thought he was cool and so on.

    OK, so then he asked me out for a drink and stuff – we went out a few times but if I’m honest it was basically just sex – not complaining, it was good. We were what you might call “friends with benefits”, but mainly the benefits and less of the friends – though don’t get me wrong, we got on, chatted for hours etc but we both knew where it was going and that was fine.

    But now...well, I think he’s trying to mess with my head. He texts me pretty much every day, phones me up when he’s drunk and acts like he likes me, but will then just randomly blank me. Basically, does this guy like me or what? He’s cool to spend time with, and if he wants to see me as a casual sort of thing that’s all good (I don’t really want a relationship) or if he just wants sex that’s fine too – I just want to know where I stand really – I can’t be bothered with boys playing games.

    Without sounding arrogant, in terms of looks I know I can do better than this guy but there’s something about him...maybe because he doesn’t come across as overly keen, though he is cool, makes me laugh etc – but I refuse to chase the guy!

    Thoughts? Thanks.
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    Maybe it's your ex in disguise
    Seriously though, if he just randomly blanks you and rings up drunk, he sounds like a bit of an idiot to me. :bricks:
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    Sounds more like you're messing him around to me. You "refuse to chase him"? What kind of childish game is that? Just tell him what you want and ask him what he wants and go from there.
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    you've just got out of a relationship, personally (and some people aren't gonna agree with his but hey thats their opinion) when i come out of a relationship my way of dealing with things is to go out and have a one night stand but then give myself some time to myself before i worry to much about guys.
    so if your not that in to him just leave the chasing up to him, text him back if he texts you, meet up if he suggests meeting up etc but apart from that leave him be. If he likes you, he'll chase you if he doesnt then hes not worth it
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    Sounds more like you're messing him around to me. You "refuse to chase him"? What kind of childish game is that? Just tell him what you want and ask him what he wants and go from there.
    I can see where you're coming from but I'm not going to chase a guy thast all over the place. I don't want to say "I'm just in this for sex" if he wants something more because I don't wanna hurt him or anything, but then I don't want to say I want to see him on a semi serious basis if he doesnt...you see what I mean? Ahhh, I dunno
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    (Original post by NicoleG13)
    you've just got out of a relationship, personally (and some people aren't gonna agree with his but hey thats their opinion) when i come out of a relationship my way of dealing with things is to go out and have a one night stand but then give myself some time to myself before i worry to much about guys.
    so if your not that in to him just leave the chasing up to him, text him back if he texts you, meet up if he suggests meeting up etc but apart from that leave him be. If he likes you, he'll chase you if he doesnt then hes not worth it
    Thanks, I think you're right. I like spending time with him so I don't want to stop seeing him, I just don't care enough to maintain the contact yknow? Thanks for the advice chick
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    ummm What do YOU want?

    Relationships are about fulfilment and happiness. Where does yours lay? Figure out if you want him to want you for a relationship or if your happy as things are and then confront him. You do not want to go long with FWB if it's going to end up with you falling for him and him only seeing it as casual sex.

    You deserve what you want and what you need from a relationship, if it's just sex and you are fine with that then there is nothing wrong with it, whoever don't let yourself get hurt. Sit him down and be like 'I'm at a stage where I have realised what I want/need is XYZ - what I don't need is to be messed about and not know where I stand with you. It started off as a mistake and I 1) want to continue as a causal booty call or 2) i want a relationship and nothing short of it.'

    You both may just need space for him to realise that maybe there is more, but really you can never be sure. Just be frank and move on, or stick with. Whatever fulfils your needs and prevents you from getting hurt.
 
 
 
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