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I'm too shy to tell him! :s Watch

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    i think i'm in love with my best friend, but i'm too scared to tell him. We get on so well and we're really close. I'd give just about anything to have him as more than my friend. I catch him looking at me in that way that makes me think he likes me too, but i still don't think he does. I don't know how to say to him in a hinted sort of way. Any advice on subtle hints to tell him!?

    thanks.:blush:
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    Why don't you tell him the full truth? If he is truly your best friend. He shouldn't judge you either way. Either he has the same feelings for you that you have for him. Or he doesn't, and it shouldn't get in the way of your friendship.
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    Lol if I was the boy it wouldn't mess our friendship up, I'd infact take advantage of the fact she likes me.
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    (Original post by TrundleThe...?)
    Why don't you tell him the full truth? If he is truly your best friend. He shouldn't judge you either way. Either he has the same feelings for you that you have for him. Or he doesn't, and it shouldn't get in the way of your friendship.
    i'm too scared too, but i am contemplating it... I know it shouldn't and wouldn't, but i'm very unconfident and i don't know how stop that. He's super nice and all. I don't know why it is, i just find guys scary sometimes! Especially when i like them! haha. :P

    thanks
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    (Original post by TheCurlyHairedDude)
    Lol if I was the boy it wouldn't mess our friendship up, I'd infact take advantage of the fact she likes me.
    what if you didn't like her back though? Does it make it awkward?

    thanks
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    (Original post by charmayne)
    i'm too scared too, but i am contemplating it... I know it shouldn't and wouldn't, but i'm very unconfident and i don't know how stop that. He's super nice and all. I don't know why it is, i just find guys scary sometimes! Especially when i like them! haha. :P

    thanks
    Are you familiar with Schrödinger's cat? If not, i can explain if you would like.

    Basicly, in 1935 there was a scientist called Erwin Schrödinger. He decided to do an experiment to illistrate the problem of the Copenhagen Interpretation of Quantum Physics applied to everyday objects. In this experiment, he had a cat, a box, and a phial of poison which could open at any time. He shut the cat into the box, so that he couldn't see or interact with the cat.

    Now, the poison could have opened at any moment and killed the cat. But because you couldn't see the cat, it could be thought of as both alive and dead. The only way to find out was to open the box.

    TL;DR - You can only find out if he has feelings for you if you open up to him and tell him.
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    a lot of people will give you the "just go ahead and tell him" advice, and this is probably the best thing to do, but in my experience, this is incredibly hard to do, and ruins things beyond repair if the guy doesnt reciprocate your feelings.

    My best advice to you is to get drunk together while alone and start coming on to him. If he accepts and you end up making out, you can talk abt it the next day, and decide whether to get into a relationship or not. If he refuses your advances, laugh it off and blame it on general drunkenness the next day. Problem solved and no messy confessions.

    I realise that this is ridiculous advice, but the only reason im profferring it to you is because I did this to one of my friends myself and it worked and its been one and a half years and we're still happily togeter
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    (Original post by CHEETS)
    a lot of people will give you the "just go ahead and tell him" advice, and this is probably the best thing to do, but in my experience, this is incredibly hard to do, and ruins things beyond repair if the guy doesnt reciprocate your feelings.

    My best advice to you is to get drunk together while alone and start coming on to him. If he accepts and you end up making out, you can talk abt it the next day, and decide whether to get into a relationship or not. If he refuses your advances, laugh it off and blame it on general drunkenness the next day. Problem solved and no messy confessions.

    I realise that this is ridiculous advice, but the only reason im profferring it to you is because I did this to one of my friends myself and it worked and its been one and a half years and we're still happily togeter
    Not sure I agree on the approach (actually yes I do, being drunk and having sex are both great so you might as well aim for these two things) but I agree in principle. If you just tell him straight-up that you are 'in love' with him and he doesn't reciprocate then things are going to be difficult for the two of you.
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    (Original post by CHEETS)
    a lot of people will give you the "just go ahead and tell him" advice, and this is probably the best thing to do, but in my experience, this is incredibly hard to do, and ruins things beyond repair if the guy doesnt reciprocate your feelings.

    My best advice to you is to get drunk together while alone and start coming on to him. If he accepts and you end up making out, you can talk abt it the next day, and decide whether to get into a relationship or not. If he refuses your advances, laugh it off and blame it on general drunkenness the next day. Problem solved and no messy confessions.

    I realise that this is ridiculous advice, but the only reason im profferring it to you is because I did this to one of my friends myself and it worked and its been one and a half years and we're still happily togeter
    Hmm. I'm not sure if i agree with this myself. As alcohol creates more problems than it fixes. What if you both get drunk out of your brains. Have unprotected sex, and you end up pregnant? Thats a horrible situation to be in.
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    (Original post by TrundleThe...?)
    Are you familiar with Schrödinger's cat? If not, i can explain if you would like.

    Basicly, in 1935 there was a scientist called Erwin Schrödinger. He decided to do an experiment to illistrate the problem of the Copenhagen Interpretation of Quantum Physics applied to everyday objects. In this experiment, he had a cat, a box, and a phial of poison which could open at any time. He shut the cat into the box, so that he couldn't see or interact with the cat.

    Now, the poison could have opened at any moment and killed the cat. But because you couldn't see the cat, it could be thought of as both alive and dead. The only way to find out was to open the box.

    TL;DR - You can only find out if he has feelings for you if you open up to him and tell him.
    i find that quite helpful thanks very much

    I was thinking about asking him at the dance... but i'm not too sure on what to say :/...

    thanks again!
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    Tell him you like him lots.
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    (Original post by TrundleThe...?)
    Are you familiar with Schrödinger's cat? If not, i can explain if you would like.

    Basicly, in 1935 there was a scientist called Erwin Schrödinger. He decided to do an experiment to illistrate the problem of the Copenhagen Interpretation of Quantum Physics applied to everyday objects. In this experiment, he had a cat, a box, and a phial of poison which could open at any time. He shut the cat into the box, so that he couldn't see or interact with the cat.

    Now, the poison could have opened at any moment and killed the cat. But because you couldn't see the cat, it could be thought of as both alive and dead. The only way to find out was to open the box.

    TL;DR - You can only find out if he has feelings for you if you open up to him and tell him.
    Was the cat okay? D:
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    (Original post by TrundleThe...?)
    Hmm. I'm not sure if i agree with this myself. As alcohol creates more problems than it fixes. What if you both get drunk out of your brains. Have unprotected sex, and you end up pregnant? Thats a horrible situation to be in.
    you're right
    replace drunk with tipsy and note that i specifically said "making out" and not "sex" in my post.
    Its definitely NOT a good idea to get drunk and have sex with him right away, for your own sake !
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    (Original post by Bobcat65)
    Was the cat okay? D:
    Hmm. I don't actually know. I would take a guess, but in the true nature of the experiment it was all based on chance. So i guess we'll never know.
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    (Original post by TheCurlyHairedDude)
    Lol if I was the boy it wouldn't mess our friendship up, I'd infact take advantage of the fact she likes me.
    nope, no valid reason for a rep, just felt like it
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    (Original post by Bobcat65)
    Was the cat okay? D:
    It was a thought experiment presented at a conference .

    An actual experiment involving a cat and poison would not be allowed by the scientific community on the grounds of ethics, thank goodness

    As such, actually doing the experiment would actually be quite pointless, as it demonstrates an idea rather than trying to find conclusive evidence of something.
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    (Original post by CHEETS)
    you're right
    replace drunk with tipsy and note that i specifically said "making out" and not "sex" in my post.
    Its definitely NOT a good idea to get drunk and have sex with him right away, for your own sake !
    yeah agreed. i did get tipsy with him once... but i got really nervous that i'd do something stupid. But i did end up sleeping next to him :s..... haha. nothing happened though!
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    (Original post by Bobcat65)
    Was the cat okay? D:
    haha that is such a "Karl Pilkington" thing to say. I don't think that was the point of the analogy. I reckon its more to do with the fact that if you don't try and find out, you'll never know, and not whether the cat was ok or not!
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    (Original post by charmayne)
    yeah agreed. i did get tipsy with him once... but i got really nervous that i'd do something stupid. But i did end up sleeping next to him :s..... haha. nothing happened though!
    ah...that rules out my plan then...

    but I maintain that telling him, and him not feeling the same way, is just going to make things incredibly awkward ... he's just going to feel uncomfertable hanging around with you knowing how you feel about him ... again, this is based on my experience of friends confessing that they like me ... plus, it creates tension in your common friends circle as a whole, with ppl not wanting to be involved but being forced to take sides and stuff ...

    I'd stick to the subtle ways, (or not so subtle, as guys are really very thick sometimes) , until you're quites sure before going for the bid confession !
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    what should i sy to him? i'm not too sure on how to approach him! haha. I'm so pathetic!
 
 
 
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