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I want a "gf" without the love. / emotionally frustrated? Watch

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    I know the title is a bit WTF so allow me to explain.

    Basically I do want a girlfriend BUT I know how difficult it is to find someone that you + her can connect with/want to spend rest of their lives with etc ...

    Therefore in the meantime I wanted someone who was well halfway between friends and a gf, but not 'fwb / **** buddies' as that implies you just meet up for sex/the main emphasis is on the sex

    Basically I just want someone to hang out with/go on dates with, but I don't want to be limited to just 'being friends' so I want to be able to say hold her for as long as I like, kiss her, etc .. maybe even go away somewhere and spend a few days there

    I should add I don't particularly care if she loves me (actually it's best if she doesn't)

    I just want someone there physically? someone I can just talk to and basically effectively do all the girlfriend things without the commitment/love (obviously we have to like each other's company to a degree)

    Am I dreaming? or is it possible to have someone there to just 'tide you over' until you do find a proper girlfriend? and you'd obviously both agree it's a temporary thing and you'd enjoy the moments you did have.

    Don't mention "that's what friends are for" because there is a limit, least to my friends, I'm not sure who you guys are hanging with but my friends are very 'hands off' and if I was to say watch a movie with her, I wouldn't be able to just hold her, feel her legs, kiss etc .. and it be a somewhat regular thing.

    Any guys/girls out there who feel like this? Can you imagine yourself in this type of situation or would it just get too messy?
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    It will be very difficult to find someone who shares your.. unusual views. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it will be hard. You know it's hard to do all those romantic things such as kissing and hugging etc. without actually loving someone. I mean, it would be a bit fake, wouldn't it? Most people expect some form of commitment, instead of just being like 'Oh let's make out, go on holiday together but don't forget that there is no love or commitment between us!'
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      So you want a **** buddy?
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      Don't go to a Nursery. No seriously, don't.
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      (Original post by Snow841)
      It will be very difficult to find someone who shares your.. unusual views. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it will be hard. You know it's hard to do all those romantic things such as kissing and hugging etc. without actually loving someone. I mean, it would be a bit fake, wouldn't it? Most people expect some form of commitment, instead of just being like 'Oh let's make out, go on holiday together but don't forget that there is no love or commitment between us!'
      I will elaborate.

      I'm sure you've liked someone but there was something about them that means it just wouldn't work? so you like them to a degree, just don't love them.

      I just happen to miss other aspects of being in a relationship besides sex (which to answer someone else's question, I wanted to make the distinction that **** buddies are just that, the sex is the main thing, heck a lot of people don't even like their sex buddies, but I doubt many go off on dates with them)

      so I mean, I just miss the physical aspects of holding someone.
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      (Original post by Snow841)
      It will be very difficult to find someone who shares your.. unusual views. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it will be hard. You know it's hard to do all those romantic things such as kissing and hugging etc. without actually loving someone. I mean, it would be a bit fake, wouldn't it? Most people expect some form of commitment, instead of just being like 'Oh let's make out, go on holiday together but don't forget that there is no love or commitment between us!'
      I will elaborate.

      I'm sure you've liked someone but there was something about them that means it just wouldn't work? so you like them to a degree, just don't love them.

      I just happen to miss other aspects of being in a relationship besides sex (which to answer someone else's question, I wanted to make the distinction that **** buddies are just that, the sex is the main thing, heck a lot of people don't even like their sex buddies, but I doubt many go off on dates with them)

      so I mean, I just miss the physical aspects of holding someone.

      (I know anon fail, but seriously? needing approval for every ****ing post?)
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      (Original post by ritchie888)
      So you want a **** buddy?
      explained above. I care more about 'the company' than the sex.

      friends are too limiting.
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      going to add more;

      it removes a lot of the bull**** that can come with a relationship.

      I'm pretty sure a lot of people are ALREADY in the very situation I described, but they aren't true to themselves.

      The guy who lie to girls, to get them into bed. To put up with their crap again to bed them.

      The girls who fool themselves that they love the guy (When it's been all of 2 days and all he did was pay you attention and get you flowers)

      I mean, must it really be Friends (least the friends I have) = no flirting/no touching/nothing. Platonic to the max.

      or 'you gotta promise you are never going to look at another girl, call me everyday blah blah blah' in order to do something more.

      I'm not saying you just pick any old random, but someone you like, but let's say they tick 7 out of 10 boxes you need for a boyfried, why not just 'settle' for the time-being? saves being bored on a weekend when you could be out doing something.
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      you want a sex buddy/friend with benefits.
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      You'll have to go a fair way to find a female who doesn't get emotionally attached to someone she's close to in a non-platonic, non-romantic way.

      I think you want your cake and eat it - and there aren't many girls out there who could give you want you wanted.
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      (Original post by aws)
      I will elaborate.

      I'm sure you've liked someone but there was something about them that means it just wouldn't work? so you like them to a degree, just don't love them.

      I just happen to miss other aspects of being in a relationship besides sex (which to answer someone else's question, I wanted to make the distinction that **** buddies are just that, the sex is the main thing, heck a lot of people don't even like their sex buddies, but I doubt many go off on dates with them)

      so I mean, I just miss the physical aspects of holding someone.

      (I know anon fail, but seriously? needing approval for every ****ing post?)
      If you found someone like this, wouldn't you mind them being in a relationship with someone else at the same time? Even if that relationship was on the same basis as it is between you and them.
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      But you're saying that you want a normal relationship but without the feelings? Is that even possible? Surey kissing/holding each other would be natural because you love someone; it's not normally something you do just for the sake of it with any person you can grab off the street!
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      (Original post by Snow841)
      If you found someone like this, wouldn't you mind them being in a relationship with someone else at the same time? Even if that relationship was on the same basis as it is between you and them.
      she's free. she can do as she likes.

      I have kinda been in a similar situation, there was this girl I used to have sex with, and we did kinda hang out a little bit, (granted she was a alcoholic + cocaine using girl) and she used to tell me about the guys she was dating.
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      (Original post by Gemma :)!)
      But you're saying that you want a normal relationship but without the feelings? Is that even possible? Surey kissing/holding each other would be natural because you love someone; it's not normally something you do just for the sake of it with any person you can grab off the street!
      ergh, are people even reading?

      I'm pretty sure there is a scale, you don't either Like or Love someone.

      SURELY there have been guys that had a few flaws? so you could imagine spending time with them and enjoy their company just weren't sure if he was 'the right guy'

      What if he was the 70% right guy?
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      I should add;

      How many times have you heard girls say, "oh he lied to me about this, blah blah, I thought he loved me"

      maybe if you became more real you'd understand the reasons some guys lie. I'm not saying I condone their behaviour but rather, this thread shows what happens if you're honest from the start.

      The girl accusing this of being 'fake' , it's more real in my opinion, you admit beforehand - Look I'm not perfect, but we can still hang? so no 'nasty shock' when it ends and you cry endlessly.
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      (Original post by aws)
      ergh, are people even reading?
      Yes, actually, "people" ARE reading, and are also taking their OWN TIME to reply to your stupid thread! So don't be so rude!
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      Basically you want a **** buddy, simples!
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      (Original post by Gemma :)!)
      Yes, actually, "people" ARE reading, and are also taking their OWN TIME to reply to your stupid thread! So don't be so rude!
      Actually .. my bad, I clarified the matter much much further in the thread where I didn't go anon but the mods decided to delete that one :rolleyes:

      so it wouldn't' have needed that reply there
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      (Original post by aws)
      going to add more;

      it removes a lot of the bull**** that can come with a relationship.

      I'm pretty sure a lot of people are ALREADY in the very situation I described, but they aren't true to themselves.

      The guy who lie to girls, to get them into bed. To put up with their crap again to bed them.

      The girls who fool themselves that they love the guy (When it's been all of 2 days and all he did was pay you attention and get you flowers)

      I mean, must it really be Friends (least the friends I have) = no flirting/no touching/nothing. Platonic to the max.

      or 'you gotta promise you are never going to look at another girl, call me everyday blah blah blah' in order to do something more.

      I'm not saying you just pick any old random, but someone you like, but let's say they tick 7 out of 10 boxes you need for a boyfried, why not just 'settle' for the time-being? saves being bored on a weekend when you could be out doing something.
      Tbh, you're right, except that in most relationships where people settle, or continue going out with someone they don't love just to avoid boredom, the other person ends up getting hurt. I was in a relationship where I could easily have married a guy I was 'engaged' to, and been happy for while at least, and he loved me, but I didn't love him, so I broke up with him sooner rather than later and even then it really hurt him, so whether you want one of these dead- end relationships or not, I wouldn't advise it. If you do, I would be very careful about hurting the other person, and I really hope no-one falls in love with you if you don't love them back x
      good luck! x
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      (Original post by aws)
      she's free. she can do as she likes.

      I have kinda been in a similar situation, there was this girl I used to have sex with, and we did kinda hang out a little bit, (granted she was a alcoholic + cocane using girl) and she used to tell me about the guys she was dating.
      was she a "working girl"?
     
     
     
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