Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    As most of our friends are sleeping with their bfs/gfs we had talked about this earlier on in our relationship and decided that we wouldn't sleep together until after a year.

    We've been going out a year and we've pretty much done everything else apart from have sex. We'd thought about staying round each others houses in the Christmas holdiays but I think neither of us feel ready and we quite recently decided that the first time I stay round we'd just sleep and not have sex.
    BUT it looks like I won't be staying round for a long time as when we spoke to our parents about staying round his parents said they'd be fine aslong as mine agreed. I spoke to my mum and she basically said no and that she wont discuss it with my Dad. Dad wouldn't let me stay round anyway as he doesn't even want me going to Reading Festival wiht Alex as he thinks I'm too young (I'm 16, nearly 17)

    And recently me and boyfriend have been getting a little carried away when 'making out' where basically he lies on top of me when we are both in our underwear. Boyfriend is now refusing to do this as its too risky and too much of a tease.

    How do I show my parents I'm ready to stay round / keep everything in my relationship stress and sex free until after the summer when I can just go and visit my boyfriend at uni and stay round there?
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    lol your boyfriend sounds like Edward Cullen.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Wulf chan)
    lol your boyfriend sounds like Edward Cullen.
    LOL


    Well, you are 16 so you are legally allowed to have sex, so your parents shouldn't have a problem with it- BUT they do have a right to complain if it's under their own roof.

    Explain to them that you are mature enough now to make your own decisions, and how you have been with your boyfriend for a year, and you just want to spend more time together....
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Can't you just tell your parents you're staying at a friend's or somesuch?
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    To be honest, when I was 17 I was going to sleepover with my boyfriend regardless of my parents disapproval. You're an adult, why are you letting them control you?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    tell your parents that you are legal and feels ready for it. if they complain, go to a sleepover at a "friend"
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Do you have alleyways in your city?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MovingOn)
    To be honest, when I was 17 I was going to sleepover with my boyfriend regardless of my parents disapproval. You're an adult, why are you letting them control you?
    Who's an adult at age 16/17? As far as I was aware, no one is classed as an adult until the age of 18. :dontknow:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MovingOn)
    To be honest, when I was 17 I was going to sleepover with my boyfriend regardless of my parents disapproval. You're an adult, why are you letting them control you?
    You're an adult when your 18 i think, not 17
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Honestly there's very little way of getting round parents when they make decisions like this, god knows I tried for 2 years. I was allowed to stay at his but not in the same bed, however they did let me go to Reading Festival with him (illogical IMO but there you go).

    Can you not just have sex when you're together but not staying over? Or are you not actually wanting to have sex? (in which case seriously get on with it :p:)
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    sleep at a "friends" to be fair when i was 16 neither mine nor my then boyfriends parent would let us sleep in the same room. At 19 I had to sneak into the spare room to sleep in the same bed as by bf got caught and now they no we do it they are fine with it, tho at 20 i think they realise they dont really have much choice
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    a year, lololol
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by CookieDoughLove)
    Who's an adult at age 16/17? As far as I was aware, no one is classed as an adult until the age of 18. :dontknow:
    Are you speaking legally or in terms of your own maturity? At 17 I was mature enough to go and stay the night with my partner, regardless of whether my parents liked it or not, so I did.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Next to last paragraph would make a perfect Twilight voice-over line.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MovingOn)
    Are you speaking legally or in terms of your own maturity? At 17 I was mature enough to go and stay the night with my partner, regardless of whether my parents liked it or not, so I did.
    No, not maturity. I used to go to my boyfriends and stay over when I was 14, so I definately don't think there is anything wrong with it.

    I just always thought an adult was someone when they turned 18. Can drink, can buy cigarettes, can gamble....I think. Can vote. I've just never considered a 16 year old an adult, I certainly didn't myself, because most kids don't leave school until they are 16, sometimes closer to 17. So I still think of them as kids. Not children because obviously they are still quite oldish, but not quite an adult. Oh plus, you can't get things like a loan, or phone contract until you are 18, so it just seemed kinda fitting that you turn into an adult at 18.

    Hmmm I suppose it varies on perspective. But I never considered myself to be an adult until I reached the age of 18.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by [Shadowplay])
    Next to last paragraph would make a perfect Twilight voice-over line.
    :yep:
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by brokenangel)
    sleep at a "friends" to be fair when i was 16 neither mine nor my then boyfriends parent would let us sleep in the same room. At 19 I had to sneak into the spare room to sleep in the same bed as by bf got caught and now they no we do it they are fine with it, tho at 20 i think they realise they dont really have much choice
    Yeahhh but make sure they don't have that friends phone number :p: even though it's unlikely parents phone at friends houses, you never know!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    my parents are asian so there is no way of telling them..
    If i were to do it i would lie deffo..
    but then again i'm quiete how do do you cal it
    opene eyed and aware of people so i'd know who to sleep with.
    your bf sounds really nice and they're probably English so it shoud't be a massive problem really..
    but then again i dont think you should tell your parents..
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I've been with my boyfriend 2 years and he's stayed over lots, just in the spare room.
    However my parents have recently started talking about getting me a double bed, on the proviso that there wont be a 'succession of boys' in there.
    They were okay with me staying over his, it might just be that I'm the eldest and my family's Catholic so it's taken a bit for them to get used to the idea.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Okay, quit with the twilight messages, I HATE that my relationship is being compared to twilight.
    But ,
    No I can't say I'm staying at a friends as his parents have said I can only stay round if my parents are happy with it, and our parents have loads of mutual friends so they would find out if I lied.
    And no, I can't just have sex when I go round his for dinner. Really would quite like to sleep round after my first time. I mean go round for sex and then get the bus home, romantic first time.
    And I've tried talking about the spare room thing with mum, but shes still uncomfortable with that.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 10, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.