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When do you start thinking about marriage / kids in a relationship? Watch

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    #1

    I've been with my girlfriend for two and a half years now, and occassionally we do share jokes about kids/marriage etc. More recently, whenever we bring it up it will be like:

    "Yes, we wont teach our kids that lol" ... etc

    I am still in university, and I am fully aware that I am not at all ready to be a father or to be engaged. My girlfriend is also fully aware of this. I was curious though, when do people start to seriously consider it? What suddenly makes it become more a serious thought in your mind?

    Thanks
    • #2
    #2

    when they;re ready.
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    I wouldn't be surprised if couples nearing the end of their time at university are starting to think about long term relationships and a potential future. It's just that stage in their life where they're setting things up, establishing a career, getting on the property ladder etc. so marriage may be at the back of their mind.

    For me personally I wouldn't consider having a kid till I'm 30, as for marriage...it's not really a priority for me and I may end up not marrying at all just being in a long term relationship as civil partners.
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    When I pass the age of 25.
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    I entertain the thought as soon as I meet a potential girlfriend - it's always worth considering if there's something that means you wouldn't want kids with her one day. It wouldn't stop me getting to know her, but still.
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    When you have a steady job and she's out of Uni.
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    I started thinking about it about 8 months into my first long term/serious relationship - bearing in mind I was 23 when I had my first relationship.

    I'm 24 now, so I'm at that stage in my life where I want to meet someone who's serious about 'settling down' - I'm ready to settle down now.

    If you'd have asked me that when I was 18, I would've said 'urgh, not in a million years' but 6 years later I'm already thinking about body clocks and marriage. I think it's different for women. Men can settle down at any time in their lives (or not at all!) but us ladies are on a time limit if we want children.
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    as a girl.... when my boyfriend and me started going out he was a lot more future orientated then me earlier on, but i guess after about a year i thought of marrying him etc. Then about 6 months later we broke up, we're back together now and he has pretty much straight up said that he thinks he's going to marry me and he has already decided he is going to be the one to teach our kids to snowboard.


    Hm. I'm not so sure.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my girlfriend for two and a half years now, and occassionally we do share jokes about kids/marriage etc. More recently, whenever we bring it up it will be like:

    "Yes, we wont teach our kids that lol" ... etc

    I am still in university, and I am fully aware that I am not at all ready to be a father or to be engaged. My girlfriend is also fully aware of this. I was curious though, when do people start to seriously consider it? What suddenly makes it become more a serious thought in your mind?

    Thanks
    Only have kids when you're settled in a very long-term loving relationship and have a house of your own and can afford to give them a decent life.
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    I wouldn't consider children at all until I have my own place (or a shared place), I have all the qualifications I need, and I'm satisfied with how my career is progressing. I'm not a maternal person, so I suspect I'd feel the need to have obtained more life experience before having children than the average person.
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    I'm married. We had been going out for about 2.5 years before he proposed; I was 24 he was 26.
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    3 weeks in.
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    Never, any mention of marriage/kids would have me out of there faster than you can say "commitment issues".
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    I met my husband in the August and he asked me to marry him in the October....yes it was just 2 months after we met but we'd talked about it in August. Before anyone says "blimey thats early", we'd known each other since April but hadnt met each other because we started off as pen pals ( he was in a different country) and it went from there.


    We are still married 14 years later
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    We talked about it pretty early on but it's always been something that's waaaay into the future. We know we definitely want to do it, just after we've both finished uni and have stable jobs and stuff.
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    We talked about it a few months in and always knew that was where it was heading. He told my friends when he met them after 6 months, they weren't sure if he was serious or not lol He (officially) proposed after 1.5 years but we won't marry til I have a job and we're both more financially secure. Kids = never.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Annie72)
    I met my husband in the August and he asked me to marry him in the October....yes it was just 2 months after we met but we'd talked about it in August. Before anyone says "blimey thats early", we'd known each other since April but hadnt met each other because we started off as pen pals ( he was in a different country) and it went from there.


    We are still married 14 years later
    Thats lovely

    Thanks for the input. I just wanted to know whether I was crazy having actually briefly entertained the thought in uni. Obviously I am not ready and I definitely agree I'd have to be settled down with someone. Thanks for the input.
    • #3
    #3

    I don't want to get married but I think about having children with my partner very early on, maybe 2/3 months in. I just don't think there's any point in putting in a lot of effort into a relationship if it's not (at least) feasible that we could be together for the very long term. I'm 19 now and I'd ideally like to start a family at around 22-26ish (my parents were young & it was lovely), so it's not a hugely distant possibility. This is probably a scary perspective for most people around my age, but I'd rather be single than waste time on a relationship with no future.
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    When I have a relationship, I want to make sure the person is someone I see myself being with in the long term, otherwise whats the point really.....obviously you see where the relationship goes though.

    My boyfriend jokes about kids, but he definitely isn't serious, at least not for a few years yet!
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    It seems like all the girls my age about 18/19 are already getting engaged married. I don't see a point at such a young age when you have to study or start your career.
 
 
 
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