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    Before i went to university i assumed that if i would make good friends fairly quickly, who would appreciate me for who I am/want to spend a lot of time with me like my home friends do. However i'm 10 weeks in and am feeling quite lonely and underappreciated. Groups have formed and although I have 4 or 5 friends who i occasionally meet up with, they all have their own close friendship groups based on people they live with. I have been introduced to a few of my friends groups who are lovely but i feel like a bit of a tag along. My flatmates aren't awful, i just have little to talk about with them and despite making an effort I feel like they aren't interested in what I have to say...it can even be quite awkward at times as we just don't get on particularly well. I miss having close friends around me and having a good laugh, tired of making an effort all the time/small talk. I'm well aware that i can't be the only one feeling like this but it does seem that everyone around me fits in.
    I'm hoping this will get better with time, but i have to decide who i'm living with next year soonish and am worried. So many people have already got their housing sorted and i really don't want to have to live with strangers and have to explain that nobody wanted to live with me.
    It's not a confidence isssue; I'm a nice person and know many people enjoy my company. It's just I've been feeling like a bit of an outsider recently which sometimes gets me down and makes me feel that i might be a bit dull around uni people or doing something wrong to not have developed close friendships like so many others have.
    It doesn't help that I'm not enjoying my course (I don't want to change, as there's a chance i wont like the course i change to). Some aspects of it are great it's just some modules i detest having to learn.
    On the bright side, a guy I met through basketball is now my boyfriend and when i'm with him i'm happy and don't feel lonely. I have also made a few friends through karate so maybe I should join some more societies... I'm also learning to play piano which gives me something to do in my free time that I enjoy, makes me feel a lot better.
    I just felt like a bit of a rant and some advice/reassurance would be nice.
    Should i just bear with it and hope things get better or what can i do to speed things up?
    Thanks x
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    Don't worry too much, loads of people are like this. I'm in a slightly similar situation. I get on brilliantly with my flatmates and a couple of nearby flats, but have only really made one friend on my course, so sit on my own in most lectures and get a bit down about this. I was really hoping to meet a girl at uni, but have had absolutely no luck so far tbh, so am generally just feeling a bit lonely atm.
    I don't really know what advice to give, joining societies sounds like a good idea; I would do that but I don't really have any skills or specific passions. You could get a job? Always good for meeting new people and earning extra money is always good. I'm feeling down, but trying to just carry on as normal, hoping things will get better. Hopefully they will! I think you should do the same... even if you're feeling a little lonely, we can only stick at it. Like me, you might be one of those people who others need to get to know to really understand and appreciate (or that's the excuse I'm using anyway!).

    So yeah stick at it and hope for the best. Sorry if this wasn't much help :/
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    We should probably remember that our home friendships took months and even years to develop so if we make an effort close friends will come along eventually.
    Thanks for the advice, it was useful. I just got a job so should hopefully meet some people through that. & i think you are right about the people needing to get to know me before appreciating- I constantly make my close home friends laugh/keep them entertained by just being myself around them which contrasts so much with my flatmates! What uni you at/what you studying? (ford fiesta) x
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    (Original post by bebot)
    We should probably remember that our home friendships took months and even years to develop so if we make an effort close friends will come along eventually.
    Thanks for the advice, it was useful. I just got a job so should hopefully meet some people through that. & i think you are right about the people needing to get to know me before appreciating- I constantly make my close home friends laugh/keep them entertained by just being myself around them which contrasts so much with my flatmates! What uni you at/what you studying? (ford fiesta) x
    Yeah same, people who don't know me don't always understand my humour for example. They sometimes think I'm being sarcastic, but really I'm just being self-depricating or ironic, which older friends understand. Just things like that means it might take time. I'm at Sheffield, doing Geography. How about yourself? x
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    I was like that in my first year, I really didn't get on that well with my flat mates and before I knew it, it was january and everyone had chosen who they were living with already! It turns out that it really was a good thing, I wouldn't have wanted to live with any one I knew in my halls in first year, and it gave me the push to meet new people. I also spent a lot of time alone, or with my boyfriend who I saw at weekends.

    I personally was left with no choice, as everyone had already figured out housing. So I wouldn't worry about it, living with strangers is something you deal with at uni - sometimes the people you think will be great to live with turn out to be the worse.

    As for friends, they come (and go) with time. I didn't get to know many from my course until second year and they're my closest friends at uni now in my third year. I also made good friends with my housemate from my second year, who I'd met through my uni accomodation board, although she's graduated now and I haven't seen her in ages!

    Try not to stress, talk to anyone you can about what they're plans are for next year and if they need an extra housemate (obviously people you get along with in societies etc) or see what your uni has in terms of room advertising, or looking for fellow house hunters.
 
 
 
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