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virgin girl disgusted by much older guy's sexual history - what to do? Watch

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    guys.

    basically i met the love of my life like 3 years ago, we were together for a year, he was the first and olny guy i have loved and my only proper relationship.

    we broke up 2 years ago, i have dated a few guys since non seriously, but still only love this guy. he was much older than me in his 40s and i was 21 when we met so he said i needed more life experience first to become more interesting and time to grow up to become more mature, and that i didnt really know what i was saying if i wanted to marry him.

    still now 2 years later, i still only love him and im hoping to get back with him but i am soooo disgusted by his sexual history. im a virgin and no sex before amriiage. but even if we were married i would keep wanting to cheat, not because im unfaithful but because he slept around so much before we were married that i would find it hard to truly respect him and just feel so disgusted.

    he was a major player all his life, he was married once when he was 34 which lasted a year, his wife apparanly cheated on him so he cheated on her then the marriage broke up ending with him moving in with the woman he was cheating with. he also has had a few threesomes and foursomes and ONS, and being 40+ y/o he has had A LOT o partners. the reason we broke up is because he had never had a threesome with 2 girls before, and he met this bisexual homeless skanky gal he moved her in with him a week after they met and have a semi open relationship where she can bring home girls for him. im not into that.

    he is the type of guy that has fun with slutty easy gals, but wants to marry a really conservative girl. he said when he finishes with the skanky gal we can get back together and may get married. i love him but am soooo disgusted with his past, and the type of girls he was with. many of them were the not very attractive really slutty bar-types that hang about half naked in clubs sleeping with whoever approaches them. whereas im attractive, classy and intelligent and nothing like those girls.

    im also jealous that he is now 45, and wasted his youth sleeping about with skanks and having fun, but expects to marry a conservative reliable girl like me to have babies with and care for him in his old age. why should i get the leftovers? i love him and wanted to enjoy his youth with him?

    do any other girls feel the same about man-whores or much older dudes? how can i get over this since i really love him?

    EDIT: please do not use my thread to go on about how religion/waiting until marriage/Jesus are bad ideads. this is not relavent, make your own thread.

    also, there is a difference between a guy sleeping with girls selectively and responsibly in a relationship, and a man whore who leaps into bed with man/woman/man and woman. ewww. :centipe: ther former is ok, the latter is gross.
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    What did you expect him to do? Stay a virgin till he met you? Get real.
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    ergh

    1. stop being to judgemental
    2. you KNOW you are the crazy religious values type

    solution: find a guy at church
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    (Original post by CB91)
    What did you expect him to do? Stay a virgin till he met you? Get real.
    there is a difference between sleeping around with anything that moves, man/woman/man and woman as a man whore, and the respectable guy who only has relations with one oman at a time in a serius relationship. he didnt need to be a virgin, but he also didnt need to sleep with anything with a pulse.

    he could have shown some self control and self respect and respect for women who dont have the self esteem to respect themselves.

    edit: religion is not an issue, he isnt catholic anymore but it doenst matter because he respect s that i am
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    there is a difference between sleeping around with anything that moves, man/woman/man and woman as a man whore, and the respectable guy who only has relations with one oman at a time in a serius relationship. he didnt need to be a virgin, but he also didnt need to sleep with anything with a pulse.

    he could have shown some self control and self respect and respect for women who dont have the self esteem to respect themselves.

    edit: religion is not an issue, he isnt catholic anymore but it doenst matter because he respect s that i am
    why do you make your life so hard for?

    why don't you date guys you are suited to?
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    still now 2 years later, i still only love him and im hoping to get back with him but i am soooo disgusted by his sexual history. im a virgin and no sex before amriiage. but even if we were married i would keep wanting to cheat, not because im unfaithful but because he slept around so much before we were married that i would find it hard to truly respect him and just feel so disgusted.
    No sex till marriage, but sleeping around once your married is fine? :confused: I dont think thats how the idea works....
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    He doesnt seem to have much respect for women in general if he needs to "finish" with a skank and then he will be available for you. Also, you need a man to grow and develop with in ALL ways in your life, not take on to care for what is left of his hedonistic lifestyle.

    Ultimately, it depends on what you expect in a mate. He is not going to change at his age and having a sex life is one thing, but disrespecting himself by sleeping with anyone that will have him is another.

    The only redeeming thing about this guy with you is that he is discouraging you. It is OK to be disgusted by his lifestyle. It is not one to emulate.

    There are many many men out there and some of them will be suitable for you and share your values and outlook. Go find them.
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    He is in his 40s, obviously he is going to have a sexual history. Why do you want to be with a guy 20 years older than you anyway? Im sure there are alot of guys closer to your age who might have the same "conservative" views as you. Tbh, if you have such different values concerning sex, then you are probably not right for each other anyway.

    BUT he sounds like a pig, wanting you to wait around for him until he has fulfilled all his sexual needs with various partners. He obviously doesn't respect you.

    I say, get rid of him once and for all.Find someone you are better suited to.
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    You sound a bit too immature to be with a guy that age, to be honest. Age gaps like that rarely work, and that's even when the younger party is somewhat mature.

    He's going to have had a varied sexual history, he's been on the earth for over 20 years longer than you have. Suck it up and deal with it, or find someone else. You don't have a right to push your values onto someone else.
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    guys.

    basically i met the love of my life like 3 years ago, we were together for a year, he was the first and olny guy i have loved and my only proper relationship.

    we broke up 2 years ago, i have dated a few guys since non seriously, but still only love this guy. he was much older than me in his 40s and i was 21 when we met so he said i needed more life experience first to become more interesting and time to grow up to become more mature, and that i didnt really know what i was saying if i wanted to marry him.

    still now 2 years later, i still only love him and im hoping to get back with him but i am soooo disgusted by his sexual history. im a virgin and no sex before amriiage. but even if we were married i would keep wanting to cheat, not because im unfaithful but because he slept around so much before we were married that i would find it hard to truly respect him and just feel so disgusted.

    he was a major player all his life, he was married once when he was 34 which lasted a year, his wife apparanly cheated on him so he cheated on her then the marriage broke up ending with him moving in with the woman he was cheating with. he also has had a few threesomes and foursomes and ONS, and being 40+ y/o he has had A LOT o partners. the reason we broke up is because he had never had a threesome with 2 girls before, and he met this bisexual homeless skanky gal he moved her in with him a week after they met and have a semi open relationship where she can bring home girls for him. im not into that.

    he is the type of guy that has fun with slutty easy gals, but wants to marry a really conservative girl. he said when he finishes with the skanky gal we can get back together and may get married. i love him but am soooo disgusted with his past, and the type of girls he was with. many of them were the not very attractive really slutty bar-types that hang about half naked in clubs sleeping with whoever approaches them. whereas im attractive, classy and intelligent and nothing like those girls.

    im also jealous that he is now 45, and wasted his youth sleeping about with skanks and having fun, but expects to marry a conservative reliable girl like me to have babies with and care for him in his old age. why should i get the leftovers? i love him and wanted to enjoy his youth with him?

    do any other girls feel the same about man-whores or much older dudes? how can i get over this since i really love him?

    EDIT: please do not use my thread to go on about how religion/waiting until marriage/Jesus are bad ideads. this is not relavent, make your own thread.

    also, there is a difference between a guy sleeping with girls selectively and responsibly in a relationship, and a man whore who leaps into bed with man/woman/man and woman. ewww. :centipe: ther former is ok, the latter is gross.
    that's totally understandable tbh and i don't see any point trying to savage something for yourself out of it with that kind of life he'll probably cheat again. You can like move on now and deal with the heart ache for a while or carry on knowing you'll never be happy and your relationship is likely to be dysfunctional and could then lead to divorce and all kind of crap. I don't think you could ever mean as much as he does to you sex wise. If it was me I'd wait for someone who was more appreciative of a girl with class rather than how easy she's gonna give it up or if she'll bring some girls home for him
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    he could have shown some self control and self respect and respect for women who dont have the self esteem to respect themselves.
    Maybe those women should have shown some self-control, self-respect and respect for him, because he might not have the self-esteem to respect himself.

    It's not always the case that promiscuous men disrespect women. It's not always the case that promiscuous women are insecure. It might just be, shock shock horror horror, that some men and some women just love sex, love variety, and love the beauty of one another.

    And to be honest, what advice could anyone give other than "either get over it or move on"?
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    (Original post by jonski)
    No sex till marriage, but sleeping around once your married is fine? :confused: I dont think thats how the idea works....
    That's the new Christian way. You get to **** people around whilst still feeling morally superior! It's the best of both worlds.
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    That's the new Christian way. You get to **** people around whilst still feeling morally superior! It's the best of both worlds.
    no i didnt say i WOULD, i said i would WANT to. there is a differnce between the things you are tempted to do and things you actually do, it is called self control
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    He's got that whore/madonna thing going on, men that are looking for girls like you (especially at that age), often have that syndrome.
    I could say choose the golden middle way and date guys your own age, gain sexual experience and all that, but you're probably not likely to take advice.
    Wanted to enjoy his youth with him? His youth is long gone, if you want to be a nurse to a man when you grow up, that is your choice but it doesn't take a genius to see that this "relationship" is the path to emotional self-destruction.
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    enjoy your future as a spinster.
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    no i didnt say i WOULD, i said i would WANT to. there is a differnce between the things you are tempted to do and things you actually do, it is called self control
    yes and you are the same virgin who asked if she should lose her virginity once she reaches a certain age.

    you are also the virgin who seems to ignore questions that doesn't fit suit her.

    I asked you a simple question, and I will re-ask

    Who are these guys you go for? seeing as in other threads on average you get 5-6 guys a year.

    Surely you should just fiind someone from church seeing as that's somewhere where someone of your beliefs will congregate?
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    Ah man I love sex
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    OP you really need to just find someone your own age.
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    Mate, to be honest it sounds like he is using you for his convenience...which in my opinion sounds really sad because guys, probably around his age would know by now how to manipulate younger women after considering how many sexual partners he has had.
    Also, if your faith is so important to you you shouldn't pick and choose what is best for you. Think of it this way, you are willing to wait until you get married to have sex right? Well, this guy seems like hes willing to wait for you to get married but until then he will have a good time with whoever else. But, if your beliefs are that different, doesnt matter if he USED to be a catholic, why would you want to be someone who will contradict your faith? You might tell yourself you are strong enough to resist his pleas later on to do this and that but eventually out of 'love' you'll give in....this is all speculation mind...

    my advice...wait and enjoy your life as fully as possible =) Travel and meet loads of amazing new people and get involved with people more your age and you'll find the real right person for you, I'm sure of that definitely =)
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    (Original post by aws)
    yes and you are the same virgin who asked if she should lose her virginity once she reaches a certain age.

    you are also the virgin who seems to ignore questions that doesn't fit suit her.

    I asked you a simple question, and I will re-ask

    Who are these guys you go for? seeing as in other threads on average you get 5-6 guys a year.

    Surely you should just fiind someone from church seeing as that's somewhere where someone of your beliefs will congregate?
    hi there, sorry i wasnt being rude, i used caps to show the emphasis.

    yes ive been dating other guys, i want to get over the 40 y/o but cant. my frineds say imtoo picky and need to date more so i give each ok-ish dude at least one date

    my prblem is im still only in love with the old dude. also, my chuch is full of crinklys 60+ only
 
 
 
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