Should I enter an open relationship with my boyfriend?

I have been going out with my first ever boyfriend for eight months now and I really like if not love him. We both excel at maths and science subjects at A Level, both fancy each other like crazy and he used to be totally infatuated and committed and he first told me he 'i love you'...

I have been going out with my first ever boyfriend for eight months now and I really like if not love him. We both excel at maths and science subjects at A Level, both fancy each other like crazy and he used to be totally infatuated and committed and he first told me he 'i love you'...
A few months ago he split up with me and then we met at a rave a few weeks later and I in my drunkeness enticed him back and we saw eachother the next two days and talked through things...
We have seen each other only about 10 times since and that was 2/3 months ago...
then he went on a trip away for two weeks and has been quite distant with me since he came back...
he finally came round the other day and I pushed again the question of returning to our former faceb status 'in relationship' where he revealed to me that he doesn't want to commit to me completely because we're too young ( both 17) and I'm going off to uni next year...
he has already kissed another girl who went on a sports trip organised by another party with him, though i can't imagine he's interested in a relationship with her because I wouldn't count her that attractive... and now says he's confused about whether to go out with me or her!?!
In my boredom I have also kissed other boys but just out of spite and loneliness not in a potential boyfriend way...
should I allow him to have the occasional kiss with other girls to save our relationship, or should I break it off with him once and for all, even though it would break my heart?

What do others think about this shaky world of teenage open relationships? The idea personally seems distasteful to me... am i just naiive?

Anonymous, North London

How is that relevant at all?

I swear, before the existence of facebook the option of an "open relationship" was not seriously considered by anyone...

I have been going out with my first ever boyfriend for eight months now and I really like if not love him. We both excel at maths and science subjects at A Level, both fancy each other like crazy and he used to be totally infatuated and committed and he first told me he 'i love you'...
A few months ago he split up with me and then we met at a rave a few weeks later and I in my drunkeness enticed him back and we saw eachother the next two days and talked through things...
We have seen each other only about 10 times since and that was 2/3 months ago...
then he went on a trip away for two weeks and has been quite distant with me since he came back...
he finally came round the other day and I pushed again the question of returning to our former faceb status 'in relationship' where he revealed to me that he doesn't want to commit to me completely because we're too young ( both 17) and I'm going off to uni next year...
he has already kissed another girl who went on a sports trip organised by another party with him, though i can't imagine he's interested in a relationship with her because I wouldn't count her that attractive... and now says he's confused about whether to go out with me or her!?!
In my boredom I have also kissed other boys but just out of spite and loneliness not in a potential boyfriend way...
should I allow him to have the occasional kiss with other girls to save our relationship, or should I break it off with him once and for all, even though it would break my heart?

What do others think about this shaky world of teenage open relationships? The idea personally seems distasteful to me... am i just naiive?

Anonymous, North London

To explain why they're both calculating and heartless...

I have been in an open relationship before in my mid-20s, there's no way I would have considered it in my teens, there are so many factors you have to consider, new boundaries and rules to think about - and you both have to be open to the idea, not one person convincing the other.

To be honest, it sounds as though he just wants the convenience of having something secure in the background (i.e. you) while he has his end away when he wants. It's not healthy in any relationship, let alone an open one. Heartbreak sucks, but you'll get over it. Feeling foolish because you compromised yourself + dealing with heartbreak sucks even more.

Thankyou all for your brutal honesty ( although some of you are just plain rude!) . You have clarified things for me and I've realised that if he's not prepared to close off the doors to other girls I'm out.