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Should I enter an open relationship with my boyfriend? Watch

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    I have been going out with my first ever boyfriend for eight months now and I really like if not love him. We both excel at maths and science subjects at A Level, both fancy each other like crazy and he used to be totally infatuated and committed and he first told me he 'i love you'...
    A few months ago he split up with me and then we met at a rave a few weeks later and I in my drunkeness enticed him back and we saw eachother the next two days and talked through things...
    We have seen each other only about 10 times since and that was 2/3 months ago...
    then he went on a trip away for two weeks and has been quite distant with me since he came back...
    he finally came round the other day and I pushed again the question of returning to our former faceb status 'in relationship' where he revealed to me that he doesn't want to commit to me completely because we're too young ( both 17) and I'm going off to uni next year...
    he has already kissed another girl who went on a sports trip organised by another party with him, though i can't imagine he's interested in a relationship with her because I wouldn't count her that attractive... and now says he's confused about whether to go out with me or her!?!
    In my boredom I have also kissed other boys but just out of spite and loneliness not in a potential boyfriend way...
    should I allow him to have the occasional kiss with other girls to save our relationship, or should I break it off with him once and for all, even though it would break my heart?

    What do others think about this shaky world of teenage open relationships? The idea personally seems distasteful to me... am i just naiive?

    Anonymous, North London
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    If you're naive then so am I..
    Personally, I don't like the idea of an open relationship.. Imo they're not relationships since you're not committed at all to your partner.. To me they sound like trying to do better whilst having the safety of having someone there you can fall back on..
    If I were you I'd either push for a closed relationship where you are both loyal to each other.. and if I couldn't manage that then I would probably just give up and try and move on
    Probably not the advice you wanted.. but it's my honest opinion :yep:
    Could you live with jealousy if he was going out for the night and you know he could whatever he liked since you were both in an open relationship?
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    I haven't read your post but sure, go ahead. Then PM me. :yes:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have been going out with my first ever boyfriend for eight months now and I really like if not love him. We both excel at maths and science subjects at A Level, both fancy each other like crazy and he used to be totally infatuated and committed and he first told me he 'i love you'...

    How is that relevant at all?
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    don't do it.

    you think you'll be strong and handle it, but no.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have been going out with my first ever boyfriend for eight months now and I really like if not love him. We both excel at maths and science subjects at A Level, both fancy each other like crazy and he used to be totally infatuated and committed and he first told me he 'i love you'...
    A few months ago he split up with me and then we met at a rave a few weeks later and I in my drunkeness enticed him back and we saw eachother the next two days and talked through things...
    We have seen each other only about 10 times since and that was 2/3 months ago...
    then he went on a trip away for two weeks and has been quite distant with me since he came back...
    he finally came round the other day and I pushed again the question of returning to our former faceb status 'in relationship' where he revealed to me that he doesn't want to commit to me completely because we're too young ( both 17) and I'm going off to uni next year...
    he has already kissed another girl who went on a sports trip organised by another party with him, though i can't imagine he's interested in a relationship with her because I wouldn't count her that attractive... and now says he's confused about whether to go out with me or her!?!
    In my boredom I have also kissed other boys but just out of spite and loneliness not in a potential boyfriend way...
    should I allow him to have the occasional kiss with other girls to save our relationship, or should I break it off with him once and for all, even though it would break my heart?

    What do others think about this shaky world of teenage open relationships? The idea personally seems distasteful to me... am i just naiive?

    Anonymous, North London
    unless 'kiss' is a euphemism, I'm not sure if that's an open relationship. :rolleyes:
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    you entering into an open relationship with him = an excuse for him to enter other women. ;DD would this make you happy? be honest, now.
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    (Original post by Polly1101)
    How is that relevant at all?
    To explain why they're both calculating and heartless...
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    There's no point in flogging a dead horse. You two are very much over. Finish with him, get over it and move on
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    Your too young to be thinking about settling down into a relationship. If it hasn't already happened. Leave it be, and wait to see the outcome of your friendship. Besides when i was in my first year of university the first night i met 50 new people! New experiences with different social groups brings new challenges, with new developments in your social interaction.

    If your still in contact once you have finished university or during university. Make sure you know what it exactly you want from him?
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    There is nothing to save in your relationship.
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    It will not end well.
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    I have been in an open relationship before in my mid-20s, there's no way I would have considered it in my teens, there are so many factors you have to consider, new boundaries and rules to think about - and you both have to be open to the idea, not one person convincing the other.

    To be honest, it sounds as though he just wants the convenience of having something secure in the background (i.e. you) while he has his end away when he wants. It's not healthy in any relationship, let alone an open one. Heartbreak sucks, but you'll get over it. Feeling foolish because you compromised yourself + dealing with heartbreak sucks even more.
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    I swear, before the existence of facebook the option of an "open relationship" was not seriously considered by anyone...
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    (Original post by HJV)
    I swear, before the existence of facebook the option of an "open relationship" was not seriously considered by anyone...
    And i never used to **** over peoples photos before facebook...how times have changed hey.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have been going out with my first ever boyfriend for eight months now and I really like if not love him. We both excel at maths and science subjects at A Level, both fancy each other like crazy and he used to be totally infatuated and committed and he first told me he 'i love you'...
    A few months ago he split up with me and then we met at a rave a few weeks later and I in my drunkeness enticed him back and we saw eachother the next two days and talked through things...
    We have seen each other only about 10 times since and that was 2/3 months ago...
    then he went on a trip away for two weeks and has been quite distant with me since he came back...
    he finally came round the other day and I pushed again the question of returning to our former faceb status 'in relationship' where he revealed to me that he doesn't want to commit to me completely because we're too young ( both 17) and I'm going off to uni next year...
    he has already kissed another girl who went on a sports trip organised by another party with him, though i can't imagine he's interested in a relationship with her because I wouldn't count her that attractive... and now says he's confused about whether to go out with me or her!?!
    In my boredom I have also kissed other boys but just out of spite and loneliness not in a potential boyfriend way...
    should I allow him to have the occasional kiss with other girls to save our relationship, or should I break it off with him once and for all, even though it would break my heart?

    What do others think about this shaky world of teenage open relationships? The idea personally seems distasteful to me... am i just naiive?

    Anonymous, North London
    Do you have any self-esteem whatsoever?
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    Thankyou all for your brutal honesty ( although some of you are just plain rude!) . You have clarified things for me and I've realised that if he's not prepared to close off the doors to other girls I'm out.
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    (Original post by SamTheMan)
    To explain why they're both calculating and heartless...
    Now that is not fair, there's nothing more heartless about people who do science than people who do humanities. Have you not watched Ugly Betty and seen the ugliness of the *****y fashion world?!? Politics and the music industry are not much better either -.-
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    (Original post by Silver fern)
    I have been in an open relationship before in my mid-20s, there's no way I would have considered it in my teens, there are so many factors you have to consider, new boundaries and rules to think about - and you both have to be open to the idea, not one person convincing the other.

    To be honest, it sounds as though he just wants the convenience of having something secure in the background (i.e. you) while he has his end away when he wants. It's not healthy in any relationship, let alone an open one. Heartbreak sucks, but you'll get over it. Feeling foolish because you compromised yourself + dealing with heartbreak sucks even more.
    Well put Silver fern.

    (Original post by xRosieMx)
    Thankyou all for your brutal honesty ( although some of you are just plain rude!) . You have clarified things for me and I've realised that if he's not prepared to close off the doors to other girls I'm out.
    I think you've found the correct answer for you.
 
 
 
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