anyone else's brother/sibling like this?
so my younger brother (now 20) is really lazy with his studies and just doesn't seem to be motivated or passionate about what he does at all. he flopped his a levels so went to college and is hoping to get into uni but hasn't even sent off his ucas yet and doesn't seem to be in a rush to do so. i never see him doing his work unless it's the night before or, sometimes, weeks after it was due.
he spends most of his time playing video games or just listening to his music really loudly up in his room or chilling with his friends.
he spends money that he doesn't have. like crazy.
i'm just irked because it's as though he has no sense of hard work whatsoever.
also he's always sleeping really late and it's usually because he's playing a video game or doing whatever he does on the internet, including that bloody music.
i'm just worried - it's been going on for years.
but should i be worried?
i don't know if he's depressed or whatever, i've tried for years to give him a push through all sorts of attitudes lol.. tried the tough love technique, the understanding sister technique, the cool sister technique......... i now tend to use the i don't care technique simply because i can't be arsed to care but sometimes (ie now, as he's downstairs with his friends smoking shisha for at LEAST the 4th time today) it just pisses me off and i wonder if it's normal?? if i'm just over analysing or expecting too much?
*pant* ok rant over.. opinions welcomed with open arms
he spends most of his time playing video games or just listening to his music really loudly up in his room or chilling with his friends.
he spends money that he doesn't have. like crazy.
i'm just irked because it's as though he has no sense of hard work whatsoever.
also he's always sleeping really late and it's usually because he's playing a video game or doing whatever he does on the internet, including that bloody music.
i'm just worried - it's been going on for years.
but should i be worried?
i don't know if he's depressed or whatever, i've tried for years to give him a push through all sorts of attitudes lol.. tried the tough love technique, the understanding sister technique, the cool sister technique......... i now tend to use the i don't care technique simply because i can't be arsed to care but sometimes (ie now, as he's downstairs with his friends smoking shisha for at LEAST the 4th time today) it just pisses me off and i wonder if it's normal?? if i'm just over analysing or expecting too much?
*pant* ok rant over.. opinions welcomed with open arms
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sounds like my bro.
sounds like my bro too 
Sounds like me. Seriously though, I'm hoping to fix up once I hit college.
Sounds like me. Trust me, he's having the best time ever.
Sounds like my brother.
He's a procastinatah
He's a procastinatah
Exactly like my brother. Except mine's sixteen and he smokes weed all day and he failed nearly all his GCSEs. So yeah, I get it. It's very worrying.
No, my brother's not like that. He used to be, because I think he was disheartened because I was the "smart one", but at some point a few years ago he made a total turn around and now he's really passionate about sports and languages, which are two of the subjects that I was never especially good at but he seems to have a lot of natural aptitude for, as well as having dozens of girls at school after him. Legend.
My brother's worse. I think it only irks me cos I can see us growing further and further apart because we're sooo different. It's obviously pretty crap for him right now as he's in Ireland, didn't care for school, got kicked out a few times and had the attitude that apprenticeships were "gay" 
So he got by for a few years on meeting people in pubs who gave him work (this technique worked surprisingly well until recession hit in, he at least has a personality lol) but now there's no chance for the next few years... He drinks everything he gets too, there are no other outgoings.
So he got by for a few years on meeting people in pubs who gave him work (this technique worked surprisingly well until recession hit in, he at least has a personality lol) but now there's no chance for the next few years... He drinks everything he gets too, there are no other outgoings.Original post by Trigger
Leave him alone, why is it any of your business?
externally, i do leave him alone. i've seldom expressed concern for over 2 years now (with a LOT of self control)
internally, yes i do worry. how can't i? he's my little brother who i'm watching throw his life away (is what it feels like). as if it's none of my business. yes it's his life hence why i don't try and control him or tell him what to do, but how on earth am i meant to not think about it? added to the fact that it stresses my mum out, i worry a whole damn more. i suppose you'll start questioning why it's any of my mum's business now?
it's some consolation having a lot of you say you have the same thing or are like my brother yourselves! maybe it's not so uncommon after all.....
Original post by Anonymous
externally, i do leave him alone. i've seldom expressed concern for over 2 years now (with a LOT of self control)
internally, yes i do worry. how can't i? he's my little brother who i'm watching throw his life away (is what it feels like). as if it's none of my business. yes it's his life hence why i don't try and control him or tell him what to do, but how on earth am i meant to not think about it? added to the fact that it stresses my mum out, i worry a whole damn more. i suppose you'll start questioning why it's any of my mum's business now?
it's some consolation having a lot of you say you have the same thing or are like my brother yourselves! maybe it's not so uncommon after all.....
internally, yes i do worry. how can't i? he's my little brother who i'm watching throw his life away (is what it feels like). as if it's none of my business. yes it's his life hence why i don't try and control him or tell him what to do, but how on earth am i meant to not think about it? added to the fact that it stresses my mum out, i worry a whole damn more. i suppose you'll start questioning why it's any of my mum's business now?
it's some consolation having a lot of you say you have the same thing or are like my brother yourselves! maybe it's not so uncommon after all.....
He will sort himself out when he is ready
the last thing he needs his is nosy, swatty little sister telling him he's throwing his life away.Original post by Holly Hiskey
No, my brother's not like that. He used to be, because I think he was disheartened because I was the "smart one", but at some point a few years ago he made a total turn around and now he's really passionate about sports and languages, which are two of the subjects that I was never especially good at but he seems to have a lot of natural aptitude for, as well as having dozens of girls at school after him. Legend.
yeah i sometimes think he feels the pressure of needing to be good at something maths/business/science related which he may not have a passion for hence why he's not motivated at all.... he's got so many skills though and he's so intelligent, he could apply this all to something else - i know he's always been a natural in english/writing. it's just a shame that he thinks if it's not a science or maths subject, he won't get anywhere in life.
he won't get anywhere at this rate anyway, wish he'd just see that.
Original post by Trigger
He will sort himself out when he is ready the last thing he needs his is nosy, swatty little sister telling him he's throwing his life away.
the last thing he needs his is nosy, swatty little sister telling him he's throwing his life away.you actually know nothing about me or who i am so i'm not sure where those randomly spiteful adjectives came from but cool. did you even read my reply? you know - especially the part where i said i don't express these concerns to him at all??
when someone you care about spends all day in their bedroom and leave when they want to go out and spend £100 on designer wear that they can't afford, good luck with that. enjoy being nosy and swatty.
Original post by Anonymous
you actually know nothing about me or who i am so i'm not sure where those randomly spiteful adjectives came from but cool. did you even read my reply? you know - especially the part where i said i don't express these concerns to him at all??
when someone you care about spends all day in their bedroom and leave when they want to go out and spend £100 on designer wear that they can't afford, good luck with that. enjoy being nosy and swatty.
when someone you care about spends all day in their bedroom and leave when they want to go out and spend £100 on designer wear that they can't afford, good luck with that. enjoy being nosy and swatty.
The fact you are getting so wound up by this is pretty much all the proof i need that you aren't leaving him alone. I bet you nag and bitch and whine and he can't be arsed to listen to you. He will get it eventually either when his friends all bog off to do something more worthwhile, he wakes up one day and realises he wants more or your mum grows a backbone and tells him to support himself. Worked with my brother.
Original post by Kaloo
Be safe in the knowledge that his actions WILL affect your credit rating as he is your brother: the poor grades, bad spending and failing uni (if he goes).
Sucks to be you... and me :/
Sucks to be you... and me :/
lol i don't give a **** about how it looks, i just want to see him have some direction in life. i couldn't care less if he decided he wanted to break into the teapot making industry.... just wish he had something to aim for!!
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