Friendzone
Something that apparently girls do to guys and not the other way around.
My question for girls is- what gets you friendzoned? Is it purely based on looks?
My question for girls is- what gets you friendzoned? Is it purely based on looks?
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Original post by paradox13
Something that apparently girls do to guys and not the other way around.
My question for girls is- what gets you friendzoned? Is it purely based on looks?
My question for girls is- what gets you friendzoned? Is it purely based on looks?
Getting put in the 'friend zone' has nothing to do with looks. You only get put there when a girl feels zero romantic/sexual attraction towards you.
When a girl says she 'just wants to be friends', what she REALLY means is 'I'm not sexually attracted to you, but I don't know how to tell you that straightforwardly, so I'll let you down gently by telling you I just want to be friends'. She doesn't actually mean she wants to be your friend. Usually when a girl says she 'just wants to be friends', it means she feels no attraction towards you and you creeped her out in some way.
You get put in the 'friend zone' when....
1) A girl just isn't sexually attracted to you, through no fault of your own...and nothing you could do would ever change her mind and make her become sexually attracted to you. In this instance, you leave her alone and move on to another girl.
Or...
2) You displayed too many low status, non-manly traits and as such she felt no sexual attraction towards you. In this instance, you should have a good look at yourself to iron out these traits that convey to women that you have low confidence, such as poor eye contact, slouching, poor tone of voice, etc.
Or...
3) You beat around to the bush with women too much instead of just being upfront and honest about your romantic/sexual interests in them. When you 'beat around the bush' and don't state your intentions, you're acting in a platonic manner around women and as such you can expect them to see you as nothing more than a platonic friend. By not stating your intentions, you effectively put YOURSELF in the friends zone.
The solution is to be upfront and straightforward with ALL women you're attracted to by letting them know that you're attracted to them, and then let them respond however they want to. If they're not attracted to you, move onto another girl.
Never agree to be a girl's 'friend' unless she's someone you aren't sexually attracted to and happen to like purely platonically. The worst situation is agreeing to be 'friends' with a girl who you know full well you're sexually attracted to and you're secretly hoping that 'one day she'll change her mind and fancy you'. Truth is, she won't, so move on to another girl. Good luck.
(edited 13 years ago)
Truth is, she won't, so move on to another girl. Good luck.
O, Thanks for the advice, but its not something thats bothering me atm. The girls i want havn't friendzoned me, and I've been with good girls before.
This thread was meant as a sort of intellectual discussion on the topic, because I find it curious how it seems to be something only girls do to guys, and not really the other way around (unless the chic was incredibly ugly and was a real turn off; other then that, I don't really see guys 'friendzoning' girls). Truth is, I've got a couple of close girl friends and I know they all do this to some of their guy friends, and I was just wondering why it seems that only girls do it and not guys.
Original post by paradox13
I find it curious how it seems to be something only girls do to guys, and not really the other way around
Truth is, I've got a couple of close girl friends and I know they all do this to some of their guy friends, and I was just wondering why it seems that only girls do it and not guys.
Truth is, I've got a couple of close girl friends and I know they all do this to some of their guy friends, and I was just wondering why it seems that only girls do it and not guys.
Ok, I'll tell you why this is, and be forewarned as some of the girls on here aren't going to like this answer, though it is the truth.
Women tend to keep guys who they're not sexually attracted to around as 'friends' because they can use these men for favours such as free dinners, gifts, flattering attention, free lifts to places, monetary favours, free lunches, free drinks on nights out, or so they have someone to add to their Facebook, talk to on Facebook/msn, so they have someone to text when they're bored, and so they have a 'nice guy' to talk to about their problems or to rant about the 'jerk' that they're sleeping with etc, or simply for flattering attention. Basically, a lot of women deliberately manipulate men in this way when they know full well they're not sexually attracted to the guy. Women love attention, even from men they're not sexually attracted to but like as platonic buddies, and so will keep these men around but not sleep with them.
If women were to cut guys who they weren't sexually attracted to out of their lives by rejecting them, they wouldn't be able to keep them around and use them and manipulate them in the ways I mentioned above. Hence they tell me 'I just want to be friends', and keep the guy around for the reasons I listed above.
Don't believe me this is true and think I just made this up? Well observe closely how women treat men who they have in their lives who they've 'friend zoned'/who they aren't sexually attracted to, and you'll see this is ABSOLUTELY TRUE. Naive guys let women manipulate/use them in this way ALL THE TIME, because they think that one day the girl will eventually 'start fancying them' if they stick around long enough, but she won't!
Men, on the other hand, can rarely use women for 'free favours' in the way I listed above, and therefore don't tend to keep women around who aren't attracted to them sexually as there is no real incentive for them to do so. Men don't care about 'attention' or other 'free favours' from women....men want to date or sleep with a girl and that's it. Hence why you get more women 'friend zoning' men than the other way round.
This is why it's important that if a woman tells you she isn't sexually attracted to you, that you simply MOVE ON to another girl and don't stick around as her 'friend'....or you'll just be like all the other guys in her life who 'orbit' around her but who she has no interest in dating or sleeping with. Concentrate only on women who are sexually attracted to you, and if not then move on to another girl until you find someone who is.
(edited 13 years ago)
Women tend to keep guys who they're not sexually attracted to around as 'friends' because they can use these men for favours such as free dinners, gifts, flattering attention, free lifts to places, monetary favours, or so they have someone to add to their Facebook,
Hard to say though, because I know plenty of good looking and decent looking guys who've been 'friendzoned' by girls.
Guys only friendzone girls if they're too ugly for their tastes, whilst for girls, this doesn't seem to be the case.
Thanks for the insight, I have to say you have a rather cynical view of the world :P
Original post by Neil_K
Getting put in the 'friend zone' has nothing to do with looks. You only get put there when a girl feels zero romantic/sexual attraction towards you.
When a girl says she 'just wants to be friends', what she REALLY means is 'I'm not sexually attracted to you, but I don't know how to tell you that straightforwardly, so I'll let you down gently by telling you I just want to be friends'. She doesn't actually mean she wants to be your friend. Usually when a girl says she 'just wants to be friends', it means she feels no attraction towards you and you creeped her out in some way.
You get put in the 'friend zone' when....
1) A girl just isn't sexually attracted to you, through no fault of your own...and nothing you could do would ever change her mind and make her become sexually attracted to you. In this instance, you leave her alone and move on to another girl.
Or...
2) You displayed too many low status, non-manly traits and as such she felt no sexual attraction towards you. In this instance, you should have a good look at yourself to iron out these traits that convey to women that you have low confidence, such as poor eye contact, slouching, poor tone of voice, etc.
Or...
3) You beat around to the bush with women too much instead of just being upfront and honest about your romantic/sexual interests in them. When you 'beat around the bush' and don't state your intentions, you're acting in a platonic manner around women and as such you can expect them to see you as nothing more than a platonic friend. By not stating your intentions, you effectively put YOURSELF in the friends zone.
The solution is to be upfront and straightforward with ALL women you're attracted to by letting them know that you're attracted to them, and then let them respond however they want to. If they're not attracted to you, move onto another girl.
Never agree to be a girl's 'friend' unless she's someone you aren't sexually attracted to and happen to like purely platonically. The worst situation is agreeing to be 'friends' with a girl who you know full well you're sexually attracted to and you're secretly hoping that 'one day she'll change her mind and fancy you'. Truth is, she won't, so move on to another girl. Good luck.
When a girl says she 'just wants to be friends', what she REALLY means is 'I'm not sexually attracted to you, but I don't know how to tell you that straightforwardly, so I'll let you down gently by telling you I just want to be friends'. She doesn't actually mean she wants to be your friend. Usually when a girl says she 'just wants to be friends', it means she feels no attraction towards you and you creeped her out in some way.
You get put in the 'friend zone' when....
1) A girl just isn't sexually attracted to you, through no fault of your own...and nothing you could do would ever change her mind and make her become sexually attracted to you. In this instance, you leave her alone and move on to another girl.
Or...
2) You displayed too many low status, non-manly traits and as such she felt no sexual attraction towards you. In this instance, you should have a good look at yourself to iron out these traits that convey to women that you have low confidence, such as poor eye contact, slouching, poor tone of voice, etc.
Or...
3) You beat around to the bush with women too much instead of just being upfront and honest about your romantic/sexual interests in them. When you 'beat around the bush' and don't state your intentions, you're acting in a platonic manner around women and as such you can expect them to see you as nothing more than a platonic friend. By not stating your intentions, you effectively put YOURSELF in the friends zone.
The solution is to be upfront and straightforward with ALL women you're attracted to by letting them know that you're attracted to them, and then let them respond however they want to. If they're not attracted to you, move onto another girl.
Never agree to be a girl's 'friend' unless she's someone you aren't sexually attracted to and happen to like purely platonically. The worst situation is agreeing to be 'friends' with a girl who you know full well you're sexually attracted to and you're secretly hoping that 'one day she'll change her mind and fancy you'. Truth is, she won't, so move on to another girl. Good luck.
Ubelievably I managed to break the friendzone, though I'm not really sure how
But I'd moved on from her and she had too many other ties, anyway thats a different storyOriginal post by paradox13
Hard to say though, because I know plenty of good looking and decent looking guys who've been 'friendzoned' by girls.
Guys only friendzone girls if they're too ugly for their tastes, whilst for girls, this doesn't seem to be the case.
Thanks for the insight, I have to say you have a rather cynical view of the world :P
Guys only friendzone girls if they're too ugly for their tastes, whilst for girls, this doesn't seem to be the case.
Thanks for the insight, I have to say you have a rather cynical view of the world :P
Trust me, the friendzone is a horrible place to be, look what happened to me: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1469697
Now, i know all girls aren't like this so don't take offence any girls who are reading this because it's probably to do with the girls who I'm friends with and they're age but they can't seem to be happy for one second. Every night i get at least one girl on text or msn telling me how cr*p their life is, usually it's to do with somebody who i either don't know or don't care about.
If you are in the friendzone, if that's the reason you created this thread, stop hanging around that person as much. You're always wanting more out of the friendship and they use you as if you're some emotional dumping ground.
Original post by paradox13
Hard to say though, because I know plenty of good looking and decent looking guys who've been 'friendzoned' by girls.
Didn't you read my first reply to you? I'll say it again....GETTING FRIEND ZONED HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR LOOKS. You get friend zoned because a girl is NOT SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to you.
Women don't go for men who are good looking....they go for men who are ATTRACTIVE. There is a difference.
Original post by paradox13
Thanks for the insight, I have to say you have a rather cynical view of the world :P
I don't have a 'cynical' view of the world at all....I'm simply a REALIST who sees things as they truly are and who doesn't sugarcoat the truth.
Original post by Neil_K
Didn't you read my first reply to you? I'll say it again....GETTING FRIEND ZONED HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR LOOKS. You get friend zoned because a girl is NOT SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to you.
Women don't go for men who are good looking....they go for men who are ATTRACTIVE. There is a difference.
I don't have a 'cynical' view of the world at all....I'm simply a REALIST who sees things as they truly are and who doesn't sugarcoat the truth.
Women don't go for men who are good looking....they go for men who are ATTRACTIVE. There is a difference.
I don't have a 'cynical' view of the world at all....I'm simply a REALIST who sees things as they truly are and who doesn't sugarcoat the truth.
In other words; BE A MAN!.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For guys who doesn't understand the difference between seen as attractive and seen as good looking.. I think it's to do with mannerisms, body langauge, confidence etc. You can look like Orlando Bloom, but if you have **** confidence then it means nowt, girls won't be after you.
Though if a girl does not find me sexually attractive, I move onto to the next one. However I do like extending my social circle too.
If you are in the friendzone, if that's the reason you created this thread, stop hanging around that person as much. You're always wanting more out of the friendship and they use you as if you're some emotional dumping ground.
Thats not the reason I've created this thread.
Read my earlier posts. Lol =s
Original post by Neil_K
Ok, I'll tell you why this is, and be forewarned as some of the girls on here aren't going to like this answer, though it is the truth.
Women tend to keep guys who they're not sexually attracted to around as 'friends' because they can use these men for favours such as free dinners, gifts, flattering attention, free lifts to places, monetary favours, free lunches, free drinks on nights out, or so they have someone to add to their Facebook, talk to on Facebook/msn, so they have someone to text when they're bored, and so they have a 'nice guy' to talk to about their problems or to rant about the 'jerk' that they're sleeping with etc, or simply for flattering attention. Basically, a lot of women deliberately manipulate men in this way when they know full well they're not sexually attracted to the guy. Women love attention, even from men they're not sexually attracted to but like as platonic buddies, and so will keep these men around but not sleep with them.
Women tend to keep guys who they're not sexually attracted to around as 'friends' because they can use these men for favours such as free dinners, gifts, flattering attention, free lifts to places, monetary favours, free lunches, free drinks on nights out, or so they have someone to add to their Facebook, talk to on Facebook/msn, so they have someone to text when they're bored, and so they have a 'nice guy' to talk to about their problems or to rant about the 'jerk' that they're sleeping with etc, or simply for flattering attention. Basically, a lot of women deliberately manipulate men in this way when they know full well they're not sexually attracted to the guy. Women love attention, even from men they're not sexually attracted to but like as platonic buddies, and so will keep these men around but not sleep with them.
I don't buy any female friends free stuff; women who do that sicken me to the core. But I still have them. Is any friendship much more than attention whoring or having someone to talk to casually or profoundly?
Original post by Neil_K
Didn't you read my first reply to you? I'll say it again....GETTING FRIEND ZONED HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR LOOKS. You get friend zoned because a girl is NOT SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to you.
Women don't go for men who are good looking....they go for men who are ATTRACTIVE. There is a difference.
I don't have a 'cynical' view of the world at all....I'm simply a REALIST who sees things as they truly are and who doesn't sugarcoat the truth.
Women don't go for men who are good looking....they go for men who are ATTRACTIVE. There is a difference.
I don't have a 'cynical' view of the world at all....I'm simply a REALIST who sees things as they truly are and who doesn't sugarcoat the truth.
Stop taking credit for articles on Mens Health. Yeah, I've read 'em all!
Original post by Danti1988
Stop taking credit for articles on Mens Health. Yeah, I've read 'em all!
You won't find the sort of advice I give in bull**** mainstream publications such as Men's Health, I can guarantee that. The extent of their advice is 'build up your pecks and women will love you!'. Riiiiighhhttt. The advice I give is the real deal, unhindered by what is 'politically correct' or what people 'expect to hear' and all that ****.
as a girl (dont hate on me men!), i reckon much of what you guys are saying is true. girls can use guys in this way, for attention and to feel wanted and such. girls can lead 'friendzoned' guys on to boost their own egos, want to feel attractive but no attraction back. maybe its that 'treat em mean keep em keen' mentality: if you lead them on, but dont give any back, it makes them want you more.
HOWEVER, not all girls do this. and not all guys that are 'friendzoned' are used like this. just because you like a girl, doesnt mean she'll like you back... whilst you may see it as friendzoning or **** teasing or whatever you want to call it, it's not ridiculous to think that the girl actually DOES want to be your friend.
id say friendzoning is a gentle way of saying that you dont feel sexually attracted to someone, but definitely dont interpret it as the girl saying "i want to use you for my own egotistical pleasure". unless the girl IS a **** tease and does lead you on, otherwise i think girls do genuinely want you as a friend.
and to the guys saying girls text them when their life is **** or whatever... erm, isnt that what friends are for?
HOWEVER, not all girls do this. and not all guys that are 'friendzoned' are used like this. just because you like a girl, doesnt mean she'll like you back... whilst you may see it as friendzoning or **** teasing or whatever you want to call it, it's not ridiculous to think that the girl actually DOES want to be your friend.
id say friendzoning is a gentle way of saying that you dont feel sexually attracted to someone, but definitely dont interpret it as the girl saying "i want to use you for my own egotistical pleasure". unless the girl IS a **** tease and does lead you on, otherwise i think girls do genuinely want you as a friend.
and to the guys saying girls text them when their life is **** or whatever... erm, isnt that what friends are for?
Original post by popple7
as a girl (dont hate on me men!), i reckon much of what you guys are saying is true. girls can use guys in this way, for attention and to feel wanted and such. girls can lead 'friendzoned' guys on to boost their own egos, want to feel attractive but no attraction back. maybe its that 'treat em mean keep em keen' mentality: if you lead them on, but dont give any back, it makes them want you more.
HOWEVER, not all girls do this. and not all guys that are 'friendzoned' are used like this. just because you like a girl, doesnt mean she'll like you back... whilst you may see it as friendzoning or **** teasing or whatever you want to call it, it's not ridiculous to think that the girl actually DOES want to be your friend.
id say friendzoning is a gentle way of saying that you dont feel sexually attracted to someone, but definitely dont interpret it as the girl saying "i want to use you for my own egotistical pleasure". unless the girl IS a **** tease and does lead you on, otherwise i think girls do genuinely want you as a friend.
and to the guys saying girls text them when their life is **** or whatever... erm, isnt that what friends are for?
HOWEVER, not all girls do this. and not all guys that are 'friendzoned' are used like this. just because you like a girl, doesnt mean she'll like you back... whilst you may see it as friendzoning or **** teasing or whatever you want to call it, it's not ridiculous to think that the girl actually DOES want to be your friend.
id say friendzoning is a gentle way of saying that you dont feel sexually attracted to someone, but definitely dont interpret it as the girl saying "i want to use you for my own egotistical pleasure". unless the girl IS a **** tease and does lead you on, otherwise i think girls do genuinely want you as a friend.
and to the guys saying girls text them when their life is **** or whatever... erm, isnt that what friends are for?
Yeah but for the betas, the women will call them up at 2am to discuss nonsencial problems where as they wont even call their boyfriend.
Original post by Neil_K
You won't find the sort of advice I give in bull**** mainstream publications such as Men's Health, I can guarantee that. The extent of their advice is 'build up your pecks and women will love you!'. Riiiiighhhttt. The advice I give is the real deal, unhindered by what is 'politically correct' or what people 'expect to hear' and all that ****.
Check some of these out you pathetic wanabe hitch
http://uk.askmen.com/dating/doclove/
Original post by Danti1988
Doc Love?! Oh geez, I remember his articles on sosuave.com back in 2002/2003, geez. I'm not a fan of his dating philosophy to be honest; the very fact that he calls his dating method 'The System' should ring alarm bells. I find his methods too manipulative, for example he tells men to wait 10 days to 2 weeks before you call a girl who's phone number you got. I say *******s to that; I say call whenever you want to.
If you want some real advice on meeting and dating women by being honest, direct and by being yourself instead of using some contrived 'system', check out Alan Roger Currie's ebook 'Mode One: Let The Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking' at www.modeone.net and also check out David X http://www.davidxdating.com/videos.html
Original post by Neil_K
Getting put in the 'friend zone' has nothing to do with looks. You only get put there when a girl feels zero romantic/sexual attraction towards you.
When a girl says she 'just wants to be friends', what she REALLY means is 'I'm not sexually attracted to you, but I don't know how to tell you that straightforwardly, so I'll let you down gently by telling you I just want to be friends'. She doesn't actually mean she wants to be your friend. Usually when a girl says she 'just wants to be friends', it means she feels no attraction towards you and you creeped her out in some way.
You get put in the 'friend zone' when....
1) A girl just isn't sexually attracted to you, through no fault of your own...and nothing you could do would ever change her mind and make her become sexually attracted to you. In this instance, you leave her alone and move on to another girl.
Or...
2) You displayed too many low status, non-manly traits and as such she felt no sexual attraction towards you. In this instance, you should have a good look at yourself to iron out these traits that convey to women that you have low confidence, such as poor eye contact, slouching, poor tone of voice, etc.
Or...
3) You beat around to the bush with women too much instead of just being upfront and honest about your romantic/sexual interests in them. When you 'beat around the bush' and don't state your intentions, you're acting in a platonic manner around women and as such you can expect them to see you as nothing more than a platonic friend. By not stating your intentions, you effectively put YOURSELF in the friends zone.
The solution is to be upfront and straightforward with ALL women you're attracted to by letting them know that you're attracted to them, and then let them respond however they want to. If they're not attracted to you, move onto another girl.
Never agree to be a girl's 'friend' unless she's someone you aren't sexually attracted to and happen to like purely platonically. The worst situation is agreeing to be 'friends' with a girl who you know full well you're sexually attracted to and you're secretly hoping that 'one day she'll change her mind and fancy you'. Truth is, she won't, so move on to another girl. Good luck.
When a girl says she 'just wants to be friends', what she REALLY means is 'I'm not sexually attracted to you, but I don't know how to tell you that straightforwardly, so I'll let you down gently by telling you I just want to be friends'. She doesn't actually mean she wants to be your friend. Usually when a girl says she 'just wants to be friends', it means she feels no attraction towards you and you creeped her out in some way.
You get put in the 'friend zone' when....
1) A girl just isn't sexually attracted to you, through no fault of your own...and nothing you could do would ever change her mind and make her become sexually attracted to you. In this instance, you leave her alone and move on to another girl.
Or...
2) You displayed too many low status, non-manly traits and as such she felt no sexual attraction towards you. In this instance, you should have a good look at yourself to iron out these traits that convey to women that you have low confidence, such as poor eye contact, slouching, poor tone of voice, etc.
Or...
3) You beat around to the bush with women too much instead of just being upfront and honest about your romantic/sexual interests in them. When you 'beat around the bush' and don't state your intentions, you're acting in a platonic manner around women and as such you can expect them to see you as nothing more than a platonic friend. By not stating your intentions, you effectively put YOURSELF in the friends zone.
The solution is to be upfront and straightforward with ALL women you're attracted to by letting them know that you're attracted to them, and then let them respond however they want to. If they're not attracted to you, move onto another girl.
Never agree to be a girl's 'friend' unless she's someone you aren't sexually attracted to and happen to like purely platonically. The worst situation is agreeing to be 'friends' with a girl who you know full well you're sexually attracted to and you're secretly hoping that 'one day she'll change her mind and fancy you'. Truth is, she won't, so move on to another girl. Good luck.
This is what normally happens to me. When I asked the girl out at sixth-form (who I'd fancied since early on at school), I pretty much plucked up all the balls I'd ever had and said "I really like you, and I want to know if you'd let me take you out." She said she "wasn't interested," though, but we agreed to be friends. But not long after that we went our separate ways, and so we didn't actually speak in person again. We still talk on Facebook, once every Preston Guild.
But even though I know she didn't like me, and likely never will, I still would love to be friends with her, because she is... well...
Damn it, now I'm feeling maudlin.
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