Hi everyone, I'm currently on the GTP course and seriously considering quitting once this term is over. I find myself crying almost daily, I am never eating during the day, I am constantly worried and on edge whenever I step foot into the school and just do not feel as if I a cut out for teaching. I love being with the children (I've already spent a year as a behaviour support worker and a year as a TA) but I just don't think that I am good enough to be a teacher.
Yesterday I had my first official obs from the training provider. I have been feeling confident about my teaching/planning etc. However, she told me that my lesson was inadequate for a number of reasons. I feel extremely worried as I had had no concept of how bad my teaching was and I feel let down that my school hasn't picked up on this earlier (I've had obs every week which have ranged from satisfactory at the beginning of term to good, but with no mention of the issues my training provider brought up). My training provider are now extremely concerned and are "worried that I don't know the children's needs by now".
This has been another major knock to me in a term that has already seen me lose 1.5 stone in weight and develop acne again due to stress, not eating and crying constantly. I'm newly wed and feel that my relationship with my husband is suffering. My brother is also suffering from a psychotic episode, and I feel that I cannot support him either as I am constantly crying and down myself.
I just don't know what to do anymore? I don't want to leave, as I don't like to be a quitter, and I'm already a third of the way there. But I am already starting to dread my next obs in Feb and I actually feel that I may not pass the course as now I don't feel that I have the skills necessary to be a teacher. But I love being with the children and in front of a class. I knew it was going to be a tough year, but I couldn't have imagined it would be this bad
Thinking of quitting Watch
- Thread Starter
- 11-12-2010 09:37
- 11-12-2010 10:01
Did you get any tips from the person who observed you as to how you could improve? Are you the only trainee at that school or is there someone you can turn to for moral support? Sometimes, even a 'I feel exactly the same way, I thought I was the only one' can be helpful and honestly I really doubt you're the only one feeling that way on your program. The GTP route is a tough one as you teach as much as a qualified teacher so perhaps you could also turn to your more experienced colleagues for help?
I'm really sorry you're going through this, I haven't done my PGCE training yet so I can't give more practical advice, I just want to offer you my support. Good luck!
- 11-12-2010 12:41
You're in a really difficult situation. I'm so sorry to read that you're having such a difficult time and that you're experiencing physical signs of stress/anxiety like weight loss and skin trouble.. as well as having relationship trouble and additional stress in your life from family issues.
So. First, *hug*
Two, what subject do you teach?
Three, WHY was your lesson inadequate?
If you want to be a teacher, you're going to have to accept that your lesson was unsatisfactory because of how YOU taught it and think about how you can make it better. Use the advice you were given. Stop feeling bad about it; learn something out of it.
They aren't trying to make this difficult for you but you're obviously not doing something or several things right in your lessons.
But remember, you wanted to be a teacher, and if you REALLY want to be a teacher, you won't QUIT now. You'll keep going. You'll think about the work you're doing, the lessons you're planning and see how you can work on making your lessons satisfactory.
If you're gonna make it as a teacher, you're gonna have to suck it up and know that it's a hard slog. It's not going to be easy. Do you know why? Because you are working with like.. 4 or 5 different classes, some with over 30 kids in.
And you're trying to meet ALL OF THEIR NEEDS.
If this job was easy, they wouldn't need to have standards in it, you wouldn't need to have your lessons observed, you wouldn't NEED to worry about your lesson being good or unsatisfactory or whatever, because it would be EASY and they would expect you to be able to do it well.
Some people aren't cut out to be teachers.
If you can't put yourself in the position of a child and understand HOW they learn and what interests them or at least HOW to make what you teach interesting/relevant to them, then you're not going to make it as a teacher.
But you've had good lessons in the past, so you MUST know what they need and how to plan/deliver a good lesson?
Watch teachers tv for advice.
Think about differentiation.
Use LEARNING OBJECTIVES. Explain your learning objectives.
CHECK for learning and understanding.
Vary your questioning.
Use group work/individual work/paired work/class discussion.
Use media to capture the kids' interest.
You can do it.
- 11-12-2010 12:47
PS: Do not quit. You're a third of the way. Stick it out. Get the qualification. Otherwise, you've lost 1.5stone, got spots and having relationship trouble for 4 months for NO REASON.
PPS: You must change the way you're thinking. You need to calm your thoughts. You need to start believing in yourself again and your abilities. I know you've had a huge knock, we all have them at times, but you caaaan get back to feeling positive and in control, i promise.
I don't think you're looking after yourself and if you aren't looking after yourself, you can definitely not look after 30 kids in a class. Start EATING. Starting being healthy. For a healthy mind, you need a healthy body.
Allow some time each day, even if it's just 15 minutes, if that's all you can spare, for YOU TIME. Time to forget about work and remember what you love. Read a book, have a bath, hang out with your boyf, hang out with your best friend, cook dinner, watch a bit of a movie, listen to a song, hide under your duvet and just rest in silence with a candle lit.
Find your centre again.
Find yourself again.
You can handle this. What you're doing is SUCH A HUGE CHALLENGE.
But think positively. Remember why you wanted to teach in the first place.
If you really can't remember why, and you don't feel warm inside, then stop, quit. Find something better for you. Go back to being a TA.
But if you can remember why and it warms your heart for a minute, stick it out.
- Community Assistant
- 11-12-2010 12:50
(Original post by Mr M)
- 11-12-2010 13:08
Lots of things I could say here but the main one is things will seem better after you have had a proper rest at Christmas.
Less is more.
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- PS Reviewer
- 11-12-2010 13:30
First of all, the Christmas break will do you a world of good, as has been said
My first observation from the uni tutor didn't go well at all, but it does get better it sounds like it's the school's fault if they hadnt seen these things already, but now you know what to work on you can get the support that you need to improve. I can't imagine how difficult the GTP is
- Thread Starter
- 11-12-2010 18:20
Thanks everybody. I'm going to reflect on what has happened and seek advice and support which I know will be available.
- 11-12-2010 18:32
What subject do you teach?
GTP is a very hard route so well done for taking that on!
As teachers we will always be developing and improving - you will never get a lesson observation where the observer says 'yes that was perfect' there will always be things to improve.
What did they say you need to improve on? maybe we could help with some ideas?
reflect on it, know ways you can change those things (whether it be researching, asking experienced collegues or seeking advice elsewhere) and move on. Have a break and start eating as you are shooting yourself in the foot - no energy from food = you feeling low and rubbish!