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Men having an unrealistic expectations of women Watch

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    Have any other girls suffered from this? My boyfriend in particular, must be heavily influenced by the media and porn. He expects me to act like a pornstar in bed or something.... I start feeling down because my body is nowhere near perfect- I have love handles, my breasts and bum aren't perfectly pert and toned, I get spots from time to time......etc etc. There is no doubt that the girls he spends hours looking at online or whatever, are way more beautiful than me, and it makes me feel when he has sex with me, that Its just because im "the best he can get" in "real life". As most men would probably much rather have the "perfect" girl they seen on the screens. It makes me feel very self conscious about my body.

    Do men realise that those girls aren't "real?" Does it make them wish they could have a girl like that, and that the girls they actually do get as their girlfriends are lacking?
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    :fyi: The 'encounters' I had with Frankie Sandford were "real".
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    It sounds like you have the problem here, not your bf.
    Men realise that what they see in porn isn't real. They in general do not expect "real" girls to be perfect. It just sounds like your insecure about your own body and you are trying to shift the issue onto your bf.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Have any other girls suffered from this? My boyfriend in particular, must be heavily influenced by the media and porn. He expects me to act like a pornstar in bed or something.... I start feeling down because my body is nowhere near perfect- I have love handles, my breasts and bum aren't perfectly pert and toned, I get spots from time to time......etc etc. There is no doubt that the girls he spends hours looking at online or whatever, are way more beautiful than me, and it makes me feel when he has sex with me, that Its just because im "the best he can get" in "real life". As most men would probably much rather have the "perfect" girl they seen on the screens. It makes me feel very self conscious about my body.

      Do men realise that those girls aren't "real?" Does it make them wish they could have a girl like that, and that the girls they actually do get as their girlfriends are lacking?
      Men like to masturbate to fantasies, pictures of unrealistically beautiful women, and whatever. We like to have proper sex with women they like in real life.

      Your boyfriend would seem to be an expectation to normality; most of my mates are with fairly average-looking girls and the relationships seem to be good, though I don't know about the sex, I haven't asked.

      I know that for me, sex would revolve more around her pleasure than mine, but that only really means I expect my girlfriend to trust me and let my try and give her pleasure.
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      ...and girls have completely realistic expectations. My ex was upset that I wasn't more like a fictional vampire that sparkles.
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      If sounds as though you should start working out/lifting weights to boost your confidence
      http://psychcentral.com/news/2009/11...teem/9334.html

      Also, take some time to be 'naked' with yourself (im not kidding), and pamper yourself with lotions and potions, like exfoliators and moisterisers, do your nails - Learn to pamper and love yourself, and then you will feel so much better about yourself.

      All of these 'porn stars' are so different, super skinny, curvy, small boobs, huge boobs, white, asian etc etc, so don't feel like you need to conform to a perfect image.
      With the right make up, lighting, personal trainer, boob jobs, vaginal surgery and whatever else these women have, you too could be a 'porn star'... but I'm sure you'd rather be yourself...right??
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Do men realise that those girls aren't "real?"
      I don't think that argument is true although we hear it a lot.

      Sure, the high-end porn with famous pornstars who have had hours of make up before they even get into action does not "look" like real sex but the fact is, girls/women have been expected to act like actresses in porn films.

      Some girls are more than happy to oblige and I've seen other the years how in casual discussions and even in popular media, referring to porn-like sex is seen as "normal". You only have to look back 10 years and things weren't like that.

      Most guys' exposure to porn 10 years ago+ was from an old VHS tape that your mate had stolen off his older brother or some top-shelf magazine that you secretly hid in your bedroom.

      Nowadays, guys who are starting to get sexually active have been exposed to 10 or 100 times more porn than guys were a decade ago and porn through the internet is probably seen as some standard.

      There's probably little that can be done and whatever impact the distribution of porn via the internet has on people's sexuality, it's probably not going to change...

      A lot of girls are reassured when they're told that it's "normal" and I've known a few girls who will do a lot of things they wouldn't do otherwise, as long as they hear that other girls might accept and like many things, even if you were opposed to the idea, you become used to it.

      The problem is when these expectations from guys conflict with girls' desires. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realise that what turns most girls on naturally is not what happens in porn films...
      It's always been a problem that younger girls take a long time to become comfortable with sexuality and intimacy and take a while to actually enjoy sex (it's no lie that women "peak" sexually in their late 30s, early 40s when they've understood what they like). The omnipresence of porn is probably just making that problem even worse.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Have any other girls suffered from this? My boyfriend in particular, must be heavily influenced by the media and porn. He expects me to act like a pornstar in bed or something.... I start feeling down because my body is nowhere near perfect- I have love handles, my breasts and bum aren't perfectly pert and toned, I get spots from time to time......etc etc. There is no doubt that the girls he spends hours looking at online or whatever, are way more beautiful than me, and it makes me feel when he has sex with me, that Its just because im "the best he can get" in "real life". As most men would probably much rather have the "perfect" girl they seen on the screens. It makes me feel very self conscious about my body.

      Do men realise that those girls aren't "real?" Does it make them wish they could have a girl like that, and that the girls they actually do get as their girlfriends are lacking?
      They are for me.

      you act like skinny pretty girls are only 'in the movies'

      and they are girls who are 'just as horny/slutty' as those in 'mainstream porn, not talking about some weird fetishes'

      BUT I do get your point, they aren't going to have size 14 girls with imperfections.
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      (Original post by ctarling)
      ...and girls have completely realistic expectations. My ex was upset that I wasn't more like a fictional vampire that sparkles.
      ahahahaha
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      Oh, women are exactly the same. In a few years time all the 16 year old girls who are obsessed with Twilight are going to get into serious relationships and realise that having a boyfriend who's so possessive that he won't let you see your male best friend isn't actually all that great.
      Also your boyfriend probably doesn't think that at all; he wouldn't be with you at all if he didn't find you attractive. Stop worrying and you'll start to enjoy it a bit more!
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      We're not unrealistic, just optimistic.
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      (Original post by Holly Hiskey)
      Oh, women are exactly the same. In a few years time all the 16 year old girls who are obsessed with Twilight are going to get into serious relationships and realise that having a boyfriend who's so possessive that he won't let you see your male best friend isn't actually all that great.
      Also your boyfriend probably doesn't think that at all; he wouldn't be with you at all if he didn't find you attractive. Stop worrying and you'll start to enjoy it a bit more!
      he does, just won't say it to her face because for the very reasons she's listed above.

      porn wouldn't exist if men were satisfied with the girls they were ****ing :rolleyes:

      go daredorms / collegerules and tell me what man would rather they were doing their girlfriend instead. (unless of course, the small % whose gf is already like that)
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Have any other girls suffered from this? My boyfriend in particular, must be heavily influenced by the media and porn. He expects me to act like a pornstar in bed or something.... I start feeling down because my body is nowhere near perfect- I have love handles, my breasts and bum aren't perfectly pert and toned, I get spots from time to time......etc etc. There is no doubt that the girls he spends hours looking at online or whatever, are way more beautiful than me, and it makes me feel when he has sex with me, that Its just because im "the best he can get" in "real life". As most men would probably much rather have the "perfect" girl they seen on the screens. It makes me feel very self conscious about my body.

      Do men realise that those girls aren't "real?" Does it make them wish they could have a girl like that, and that the girls they actually do get as their girlfriends are lacking?
      Your boyfriend can base his expectations of what sex will be like on his own sexual experience, that of his mates, porn and his imagination. If he has had no other girlfriends and no honest mates with real experience than he will base his expectations on porn and his imagination. The more girlfriends he has, the more he will come to realise that porn is not realistic.

      You obviously don't have time to wait for that. If you like this guy, stop wondering about what he is thinking and start teaching him what you like.
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      (Original post by aws)
      he does, just won't say it to her face because for the very reasons she's listed above.

      porn wouldn't exist if men were satisfied with the girls they were ****ing :rolleyes:

      go daredorms / collegerules and tell me what man would rather they were doing their girlfriend instead. (unless of course, the small % whose gf is already like that)
      For just sex maybe, but the point is that he's chosen to be in a relationship with her. As I said, he wouldn't be having sex with her and dating her if he didn't find her attractive.
      Also porn doesn't exist entirely for dissatisfied men in relationships either so I'm not sure why the patronising tone was necessary.
      • #2
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Have any other girls suffered from this? My boyfriend in particular, must be heavily influenced by the media and porn. He expects me to act like a pornstar in bed or something.... I start feeling down because my body is nowhere near perfect- I have love handles, my breasts and bum aren't perfectly pert and toned, I get spots from time to time......etc etc. There is no doubt that the girls he spends hours looking at online or whatever, are way more beautiful than me, and it makes me feel when he has sex with me, that Its just because im "the best he can get" in "real life". As most men would probably much rather have the "perfect" girl they seen on the screens. It makes me feel very self conscious about my body.

      Do men realise that those girls aren't "real?" Does it make them wish they could have a girl like that, and that the girls they actually do get as their girlfriends are lacking?

      Oh for Christ sake, no not every man thinks like that. The same could be said for women expecting men to be perfect looking, intelligent, charming, funny, sensitive etc. Do you expect this? Women are ridiculously picky these days and often overlook decent guys for a really good looking bad boy and this is what happens Im afraid
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      How does he make you feel like this? Does he say anything to you?
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      Maybe you don't use porn or er, visual aids, when you masturbate (I'll assume you do?), but surely you've had sexual fantasies about handsome male celebrities, yes? And it is quite obvious to you that what you 'feel' (i.e. nothing!) when you think of them is very different to how you feel about your boyfriend?
      Also, guys have serious insecurities about themselves too, you know.
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      How does he make you feel like you need to be a porn star in bed? Has he made you do things or are you assuming?
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      (Original post by Trigger)
      How does he make you feel like you need to be a porn star in bed? Has he made you do things or are you assuming?
      I must say that you do make a sexy nurse. :yes:
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      We just want sex and blowjobs - just stfu and give them to us.

      You have no reason to complain, we pamper you with enough stuff and love.

      :yy:
     
     
     
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