After August, I was obsessed with this boy. I would constantly check his facebook and stay on MSN all day in hopes that he'd come on and talk to me (which he did). I never suspected he'd like me because he acts straight and talks about 'gash' etc.
Well, it turns out he did liked me!
So you'd think everything would be all rainbows and butterflies. He said he really liked me and I really liked him (I honestly did think it was love and not lust).
But 2 weeks ago, I stayed round his house for a sleepover. I gave him a blowjob + handjob (and he returned the favour). When we were in the moment, it felt great. But the morning after, I felt kinda bad/dirty and after a few hours/days of thinking, I don't think I love him afterall...
I asked him how he felt after we did those activities and he said he felt he knew me more and that we were closer but all I felt was disgusted (obviously I couldn't say that to him!). I told him we should slow things down and he agreed.
I feel like I don't love him at all any more. When he sends me texts, it still makes me smile and he still turns me on but I feel like we're so incompatible.
Firstly, we can't do anything in public. Neither of us are out and I don't think I want to be, but it would be nice to hold his hand in public. On facebook, he sometimes talks about gash and stuff which kinda annoys me.
Secondly, we seriously have so little in common! When I talk to him, I feel kinda restricted like I can't say some of the stuff I want to (e.g. when we're doing maths, I don't feel like I should help him because I feel like he thinks he's smarter than me and it seems like I'm bragging if I tell him how to do it. I don't think he'd appreciate the help). If we weren't in 'love', we wouldn't be able to be good friends cos we have different interests and I don't find him that funny.
The lack of good conversation means that all we do talk about on msn is sex. And when we meet up, all we do is kiss and touch each other (which feels good when we're in the moment but...).
I don't want a purely physical relationship but I don't think we could ever connect.
An interesting thing he said was I'm the only boy he has ever liked. I do wonder why.
I half feel like breaking up with him but he says he likes me quite a lot and that he was 'falling in love' with me. I don't want to hurt his feelings cos he's such a nice person! And sometimes, the feeling of love returns. I also don't want to be lonely...
I think I'll have to wait until this school year is over (cos we're both going to university next year). He's honestly such an awesome guy and I don't think I'll ever find such a good catch but I don't think I'm in love...
Has anyone else felt like this?
I was seriously so obsessed with him at the start but after the sleepover, I just feel like the 'love' is gone.
I guess I still see sex as dirty. And usually after I masturbate, I lose feelings of lust etc. and start feeling guilty.
UGH. WE HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON!
Out of love (gay) Watch
- Thread Starter
- 11-12-2010 13:10
- 11-12-2010 20:18
- 11-12-2010 20:49
I have not felt like this.
I hope that answered your question.