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Boyfriend going his work xmas party alone, is it wrong that im upset? Watch

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    To cut a long story short tonight is the boyfriends work xmas party, im not invited but expected to pick him up. I’m rather upset about this as on previous nights out etc he has been asked where I am but still doesn’t think to invite me. I’ve always subscribed to the it not the “If you have a partner, then there's no more "ME", there's only "US".” Hence rather pissed off and upset that he seem to be ashamed of me!

    Were both 20 so not a silly little teenage couple and have been together nearly a year. Night out with the lads etc I can understand btw so not a controlling girlfriend. Also this isnt something paid for by the company everyone pays for themselves so it not like partners arent allowed
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    It's quite silly, he's his own person, he doesn't have to invite you.

    It's his own choice and you should respect that.
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    Perfectly fine, if you don't work with him!
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    Why are you talking to us about it?

    If you have an issue with him, talk to him about it.
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    Tbh I don't see why he hasn't invited you! Have you met his work colleagues before? It's a bit harsh to expect to be picked up but for you not to attend. If I were you I'd be inclined to suggest he finds his own way home and you do your own thing.
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    do you know anyone at his work? it not then fair enough he doesnt invite you.
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    He wants to shag Alice. Sorry.
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    He doesn't have to invite you and thus you should accept that. Where I work they don't allow girlfriends etc on work parties as they don't actually work there.
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    I'd be annoyed if I'd been going out that long with a bf and he didn't think to invite me.
    Have you spoken to your bf about this? If you have and he still expects a lift home then you do have a right to be a little bit mad.
    You should organise your own night out with friends and tell him he has to make his own way home. A little childish maybe but it would show you're not sitting around waiting for him
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    Only an 'us'?

    Jheez give the guy room to breath, you're suffocating him with your nagging.
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    You say that you're not a silly teenage couple yet you still insist on acting like a spoilt brat? He's not obliged to spend time with you all the time and you shouldn't expect him to. Grow the **** up.
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    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-11950846

    You seem a bit controlling to to demand that you are now two people rather than one just bcause you're in a relationship. You are both individual people who can do separate things, so it seems like you're very insecure if you 'allow' him away from you, so I think you need to really grow up.
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    (Original post by jordz)
    It's quite silly, he's his own person, he doesn't have to invite you.

    It's his own choice and you should respect that.
    It not a matter of not respecting his choice its the fact that ive been raised that, a couple goes together like my parents always have. So find it a little strange TBH

    (Original post by aleathiel)
    Tbh I don't see why he hasn't invited you! Have you met his work colleagues before? It's a bit harsh to expect to be picked up but for you not to attend. If I were you I'd be inclined to suggest he finds his own way home and you do your own thing.
    Nope because he never bothers to take me, when others take their partners yet he expects to go on all my work nights out or other socials. Ive never had this with other boyfriends so not really sure how to approach it tbh.

    (Original post by JessyAnn)
    I'd be annoyed if I'd been going out that long with a bf and he didn't think to invite me.
    Have you spoken to your bf about this? If you have and he still expects a lift home then you do have a right to be a little bit mad.
    You should organise your own night out with friends and tell him he has to make his own way home. A little childish maybe but it would show you're not sitting around waiting for him

    Yup his answer was that **** organising it said would you like to come not would you and your girlfriend like to come and he didnt want to ask if it was ok to take the girlfriend. I would do just that but he would be stuck at a hotel in the middle of the country side so cant really just leave him.

    shrugs i maybe a have different views to 90% of people as ive grown up with emergency service personnel for parents so it always a +1 if you send invites out to people or their partners name if you know it.
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      (Original post by fallenflower)
      Were both 20 so not a silly little teenage couple and have been together nearly a year. Night out with the lads etc I can understand btw so not a controlling girlfriend. Also this isnt something paid for by the company everyone pays for themselves so it not like partners arent allowed
      Well, you certainly are acting like a stroppy little teenager. You don't own him, he can go out on his own if he wants to. It's a work xmas party, maybe he just wants to hang out with his colleagues this time.
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      There is some thing on the bbc news site about not taking your partner to xmas dos, maybe he read that?
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      (Original post by SomeStudent)
      Well, you certainly are acting like a stroppy little teenager. You don't own him, he can go out on his own if he wants to. It's a work xmas party, maybe he just wants to hang out with his colleagues this time.
      Im not being stroppy if I was id be refusing to pick him up so he couldnt go!! Im being rather carm tbh
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        (Original post by fallenflower)
        To cut a long story short tonight is the boyfriends work xmas party, im not invited but expected to pick him up. I’m rather upset about this as on previous nights out etc he has been asked where I am but still doesn’t think to invite me. I’ve always subscribed to the it not the “If you have a partner, then there's no more "ME", there's only "US".” Hence rather pissed off and upset that he seem to be ashamed of me!

        Were both 20 so not a silly little teenage couple and have been together nearly a year. Night out with the lads etc I can understand btw so not a controlling girlfriend. Also this isnt something paid for by the company everyone pays for themselves so it not like partners arent allowed
        Some people want to spend it schmoozing with work mates rather than having to hold their Gfs hand all night.

        especially if its going to be a lot of work banter all night
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        im in the same kinda postion but agreed to pick mine up so i can atleast have sunday with him and he will be getting a serious lecture all the way home if i find out other people had their partners there! We are on placement in the same trust and i will be going across to the hospital he at so im also thinking this is going to be awkward in a few months when i have to meet these people.

        I think men just dont realise how it can make a woman feel ie dejected we are only there when they want us etc

        Hint get your own back next time you have a night out he could go on make it obvious like oh i cant wait to meet so and so new partner apparently she is xyz or something then dont take him - totally childish but should make him realise prity quick that it isnt just a work nightout, its a question of how seriously he take the relationship.

        BTW to all those saying the ops acting childish once you hit 20 it kinda become more of an adult relationship ie the problems of where to spend xmas etc start hence you kinda expect to get invited more.

        (Original post by Jamie)
        Some people want to spend it schmoozing with work mates rather than having to hold their Gfs hand all night.

        especially if its going to be a lot of work banter all night
        Why would you need to hold her hand all night lol we are perfectly capable of talking to other people at the table. Some of my mates now i actually meet through an ex as he worked with them. my mam is really close to all my dads work mates wifes because they all take theirs to functions etc hell im even going out to meet some of them after their xmas meal
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        Let the man have his space...or don't you trust him? Do you think his going to get someone's number or are you scared that he will have a good time without you and things wont be the same?

        Clingy to the max, lord above.
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        I find it amusing that most of the girls are saying he's in the wrong whereas the guys think it's fine!

        I'm gonna go with the guys though - there's nothing wrong with wanting to keep different friendships/ relationships separate every now and then. If he works with a load of guys and him and his workmates are really close then he might not want to have to spend the evening holding your hand and making you feel better because you don't know anyone there. Everyone likes to have a bit of 'me' time every now and then, don't take it to heart
       
       
       
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