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My boyfriend is always secretly meeting up with his exes, should I worry?

Hi guys, been with my boyfriend for a year and a couple of months. Things haven't really run smoothly for us, mainly because of his secretive ways and lying. I'm not at all controlling, I don't ask for much from him, and I've said many times that I don't mind at all that he's friends with his ex-girlfriends (there are quite a lot!) I'm friends with both my exes and it's all amicable and fine.

He's got a thing though of going to great lengths to cover up the fact that he sees/ goes out with his exes. He's made up elabourate stories about where he's been on nights out, only for someone to drop him in it later, reveal his story was a lie and he'd actually spent the evening with an ex.

I'll be honest here, it tore me up so much (worrying about his motives for lying, as anyone would), that I looked at the inbox on his phone. I found out that the weekends he'd been going back to his hometown to "visit his dad", he'd spent whole days and evenings with two of his exes there!! (at separate times of course). Just a couple of weeks ago there was a message sent by one particular ex saying she was "feeling groovy", and he should "bring a bottle of wine" when he comes over!? Of course there was no mention of her or her grooviness when he told me how his weekend went...

I've never told him that I know about this. I'm torn again as he went back to his hometown yesterday "to visit his dad", and I've tried calling him 3 times since last night and his phone is off. I feel physically sick.

I suppose all I want is someone to tell me I'm over-reacting..

Thanks guys.
Reply 1
Avatar for Aj12
Aj12
18
Key word secretive. Can't be that hard for you to put 2 and 2 together
A thread title as dumb as yours deserves no answer, work that out for yourself :|
Reply 3
Avatar for Lesha2010
Lesha2010
10
FAIL. Serious fail =|
I can't believe you even made a thread, to be honest.
Reply 5
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
No need to be rude, I'm always cinscious of over-reacting and exerting "bunny boiler" - esque behaviours. I don't want to be the possessive, controlling girlfriend, or anything close to it. Could it be that he wants to maintain a close friendship with these girls but feels uncomfortable telling me about it? Maybe he thinks it's not worth mentioning?

I don't want to bring it up because I really don't want to have to tell him I looked at his phone.
Reply 6
Avatar for elenii
elenii
8
What a sneaky little rat. Have some self-respect and dump him.

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