Sex before marriage?
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Original post by AnHuman
If partner's are faithful, the exact position of when then first have sex on the timeline of their relationship is completely irrelevant.
I think the point was that if everyone only has sex with one person in their lifetime there is less chance for STIs to be spread around. Just because you're faithful doesn't mean you haven't had previous partners.
Original post by AnHuman
No, I'm comparing those things to contraception, such as the implant.
Yes I know, and I was saying that I don't think they're comparable. When an individual decides to have sex is more personal.
Sorry I don't mean to be disagreeing with everything you say
You could also bring about the idea of if the person you're with is really "the one."
I mean, I wouldn't be with anyone if I didn't love them in some way, or at least it wouldn't turn out to be a long-term relationship. If I'm in a relationship, I'd wait to have sex only until I knew I trusted them and wanted to be with them. Doesn't matter to me if we're going to be together for a few months, a year or if we'll be married in the future.
I just don't think of those things at this age. I don't know if a guy is the one guy I want to spend my life with, but I do know if I find a guy I want to spend my right-now with
I mean, I wouldn't be with anyone if I didn't love them in some way, or at least it wouldn't turn out to be a long-term relationship. If I'm in a relationship, I'd wait to have sex only until I knew I trusted them and wanted to be with them. Doesn't matter to me if we're going to be together for a few months, a year or if we'll be married in the future.
I just don't think of those things at this age. I don't know if a guy is the one guy I want to spend my life with, but I do know if I find a guy I want to spend my right-now with
The reason why I wouldn't wait is because sexual compatibility IS important.
I'm not saying people are either 'good' or 'bad' in bed but everyone has their own preferences and finding the right partner who is compatible with you is the difference between having a 'sex life' and a 'fantastic sex life'.
Afterall, you wouldn't buy a car without taking it for a test drive would you?
I'm not saying people are either 'good' or 'bad' in bed but everyone has their own preferences and finding the right partner who is compatible with you is the difference between having a 'sex life' and a 'fantastic sex life'.
Afterall, you wouldn't buy a car without taking it for a test drive would you?
Original post by ponpon14
Well to some people it isnt important. Its a religious thing and looking at how religious most of society is, then its not exactly shocking.
I didnt even care it was my first time particularly let alone not being married (apart from the nerves of course) I dont set much store behing the importance of first times. To me a first time is no different to a hundreth time. Its still sex.
I didnt even care it was my first time particularly let alone not being married (apart from the nerves of course) I dont set much store behing the importance of first times. To me a first time is no different to a hundreth time. Its still sex.
Not always. It can be a personal choice.
Original post by shereez234
I am a virgin
Yeah, you can say that but it might not be out of choice like this girl (no offense)
Original post by shinytoy
im 25 virgin waiting until marriage. if your gonna wait you have to be VERY clear about your reasons why, or else it is all do easy to give up in the heat of the moment or if your bf threatens to dump you. prepare not to date AT ALL until you are within a year or 2 of practical marrying age - it is too hard to stay in relationship over 2 yrs with nothing sexual. be clear on ur boundaries too. im catholic btw. look@ my post histry for my struggles,all my bfs cheted me cos of this &only muslim gys respect it
If you ended up marrying a muslim guy, your kids would be so spiritual lol!
EDIT: Negged for hoping children of two religions would better this country?? Says a lot about tolerance in this country.
(edited 13 years ago)
Does anyone here honestly believe that if a person has been in a serious loving relationship, and that relationship ends - that it will be as nothing just because they didn't have sex? So I don't get this whole "preserving yourself for the one" concept.
The only way ensure this whole "only one" idea would be to only start to be in love with a person after marrying them, or to always end serious relationships in marriage. That is too much to expect of human beings. We don't always know how things are going to turn out, and the cost of such a life decision (eg: marrying someone it turns out you dislike) would surely outweigh any romantic benefit.
Sex isn't the reason people who have previously been in a serious relationship aren't an empty vessel for their partner when they get married, love is. I presume that that is the romantic (all to meee! only ever loved meee!) ideal that people are chasing with this, and I'm saying even if someone is a virgin, that is no guarantee that you're the only person they have loved, or that they haven't had as equally powerful relationship with someone else than if they had had sex.
I don't know if anyone will get what I'm saying here...
Remaining a virgin until you feel comfortable having sex, or like a person enough to have sex is a different matter. Holding onto virginity as though it equals exclusivity in love.. is imo naive.
The only way ensure this whole "only one" idea would be to only start to be in love with a person after marrying them, or to always end serious relationships in marriage. That is too much to expect of human beings. We don't always know how things are going to turn out, and the cost of such a life decision (eg: marrying someone it turns out you dislike) would surely outweigh any romantic benefit.
Sex isn't the reason people who have previously been in a serious relationship aren't an empty vessel for their partner when they get married, love is. I presume that that is the romantic (all to meee! only ever loved meee!) ideal that people are chasing with this, and I'm saying even if someone is a virgin, that is no guarantee that you're the only person they have loved, or that they haven't had as equally powerful relationship with someone else than if they had had sex.
I don't know if anyone will get what I'm saying here...
Remaining a virgin until you feel comfortable having sex, or like a person enough to have sex is a different matter. Holding onto virginity as though it equals exclusivity in love.. is imo naive.
(edited 13 years ago)
Sex is easy. You won't find too many waiters in the student community!
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I'm Rosalie. I'm a girl, 17. I've had wuite a few boyfriends so far, most of them long term. The thing is, I've made the decision to wait until I'm married to have sex but no guy wants to wait. I get the whole teen guy thing and wanting to try new things, have sex etc. But seriously.. Does NO ONE wait anymore? Girls or guys? Wow. I'm v. confused.
Thanks. <3
Thanks. <3
YAY! I'm waiting too - have you ever heard of 'true love waits'. It might be worth looking into if you want to make it official.
Just be strong about it, I think if a guy genuinely cares about you he will be willing to wait.
Original post by purplemooncows
Least if you wait you get chance to know each other mentally...rather than using sex as a means of communication.
Why would couples who have sex not know each other as well mentally as couples who don't?
Surely that's down to the couple and how close they are, not whether or not they are having sex.
Original post by goose1990
I think the points just made are the most important, sex is one of the most enjoyable things we can do and I'm not saying that you should go out and have sex all the time but if you were in a relationship with someone you liked then i think it's a good thing to have sex. You're neglecting developing a huge part of what it is to be an adult human! Also variety is the spice of life and as romantic as you may find it in my view it would be a shame to go through life only ever having had one sexual partner, though obviously you can go too far in the other direction!
seconded :P
OP=I'd encourage you to forget about it and just have sex. I was like you, only I wanted sex in a relationship when I loved someone. As such, I rejected a number of ONS offers. I now am still a virgin, and more important still, have never had a girlfriend. The longer you wait to have sex, the harder it will get.
That said, I really hope you are lucky and I am wrong in suggesting what I did.
That said, I really hope you are lucky and I am wrong in suggesting what I did.
Why wait?
Not having sex before marriage is like buying a car before test driving it.
What if you find out it's completely ****? - a relationship should be as much physical as it is mental.
Not having sex before marriage is like buying a car before test driving it.
What if you find out it's completely ****? - a relationship should be as much physical as it is mental.
Original post by awais590
yes we do.
i meant, i have found more muslim guys that are trying to respect it and be with only their wife and expect their wives to be the same, than christian guys who dont even bother to try anywore
Original post by roodootoo
Yeah, you can say that but it might not be out of choice like this girl (no offense)
no it's not
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I'm Rosalie. I'm a girl, 17. I've had wuite a few boyfriends so far, most of them long term. The thing is, I've made the decision to wait until I'm married to have sex but no guy wants to wait. I get the whole teen guy thing and wanting to try new things, have sex etc. But seriously.. Does NO ONE wait anymore? Girls or guys? Wow. I'm v. confused.
Thanks. <3
Thanks. <3
In all fairness though if you don't have to trust to have sex with someone in the first place you surely shouldn't be getting married, eh?
I mean what if after all that waiting, and then the marriage you have sex with this person and find out they are not the right person for you? Pointless much?
The trauma that the very existence of the hymen (to prove virginity), and the ability of religions to place extreme responsibility on the females of today to maintain it is un****ingbelievable.
Men get a free pass as no one can ever truly determine whether they are a virgin or not.
Men and women share responsibilities as far as transmission of STD’s are concerned although women may be more susceptible to them.
The one thing that should make women more responsible about sex is the potential for conception that men generally tend to assume that any sexually active female is using some form of contraception and therefore have little concern about. Modern contraception methods mean that this risk may be greatly reduced however.
Men get a free pass as no one can ever truly determine whether they are a virgin or not.
Men and women share responsibilities as far as transmission of STD’s are concerned although women may be more susceptible to them.
The one thing that should make women more responsible about sex is the potential for conception that men generally tend to assume that any sexually active female is using some form of contraception and therefore have little concern about. Modern contraception methods mean that this risk may be greatly reduced however.
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