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    hi,
    don't really know why i'm writing this because I don't really think anyone can help, but just need to get some things off my chest.
    basically ever since coming here i've felt ****. before uni I was usually a quiet but happy person and I don't know who I am anymore. i'm not used to feeling down like this, day in day out. I don't know where my identities gone, I cry almost every other day.
    in the first month or so I was living at a different house, I asked to be moved because the people I lived with were absolutely horrible (banged on my door in the middle of the night, *****ed about me, made me feel alienated and ****) and I was moved to a new house. In this new house the people that live here are nicer but I haven't made friends with them. they're all really close and have a contract to live together next year. they don't really invite me to anything and sometimes I think this is quite rude. i'm always very polite to them.
    i've made some nice friends here (girls) but they're all starting to fall out. I get bored of only ever moving in the same small circle and now that is starting to fall apart.
    a week ago I broke up with my boyfriend who I had been with for almost two years. I said we should split because we were having so many ****ty arguments and it was bringing me down so much. now i regret doing this because I miss him more than i've ever missed anything. he would pick me up when I was down and I think he was maybe the one thing that was holding me together at times since starting uni. i'm so confused about everything. I don't really want to talk to my friends about him because they just don't understand and offer me pointless advice. i just want to scream at them and tell them they don't understand.
    I don't think anyone understands how I feel at the moment. i'm having uni counselling but they seem to think I'm ok... I don't feel ok! all the last one said was that I seemed like a very positive and wise 18 year old, but I don't feel like one. I feel stupid and silly and like i've got no one.
    I'm not used to failing in life and maybe that's why i'm finding this so difficult. I am doing alright academically (my essay scores so far have been 64, 65, and 67.) but I'm not used to feeling so down and like I can't handle things. Three years ago I was in intensive care with malaria in Kenya so I've always thought if I can handle that I should be able to handle anything. But I can't

    I feel alone, and scared, and stupid. I don't know what to do or who to turn to. I am terrified of getting worse in my feelings but I feel that everything I do to try and keep happy is just fake and not working.

    what can I do...?
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    sounds like things really aren't going your way :/ if I were you I wouldnt think to quit, your doing well academically still! maybe with your friends you could try and get your room mates to do something like you inviting them somewhere so you know you want to get involved? then after that they may start inviting you to things to
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    It seems to me that you are having an extremely difficult time, for more than one reason. You really should not consider dropping out of university! University is very difficult for many people to fit into, at it seems that you are finding it difficult to determine who you are and what you want out of life. You are very confused about alot of different things, and you need to address this confusion in a positive way, you need to set some firm groundings in your own mind as to what you want.

    I also think that it seems that you are a very homely person, this is abit like me, I found it really hard to fit into uni to begin with because I was so attatched to home and spending time with my mum and family. The only way I found a way out of this is sort of having my own space away from family for a while, sort of lower the communication, become independent, do your own things, make your own plans. Don't always rely on people to come to you, go to them :-) Seem interested, step outside your comfort zone. Nerve racking I know, are you reserved and introverted like me?

    You need to understand yourself. :-) Really difficult I know.

    Has all of the other stuff that has happened caused stress in your relationship, it seems like he was always there for you and brought you up from the dumps when you were down? I bet he misses you too.

    You need to decide what you want to do though, sorry I couldn't really help.

    It's hard when I don''t really know you that well. Only those that know you best will be able to help really.


    Hope things are better soon x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It seems to me that you are having an extremely difficult time, for more than one reason. You really should not consider dropping out of university! University is very difficult for many people to fit into, at it seems that you are finding it difficult to determine who you are and what you want out of life. You are very confused about alot of different things, and you need to address this confusion in a positive way, you need to set some firm groundings in your own mind as to what you want.

    I also think that it seems that you are a very homely person, this is abit like me, I found it really hard to fit into uni to begin with because I was so attatched to home and spending time with my mum and family. The only way I found a way out of this is sort of having my own space away from family for a while, sort of lower the communication, become independent, do your own things, make your own plans. Don't always rely on people to come to you, go to them :-) Seem interested, step outside your comfort zone. Nerve racking I know, are you reserved and introverted like me?

    You need to understand yourself. :-) Really difficult I know.

    Has all of the other stuff that has happened caused stress in your relationship, it seems like he was always there for you and brought you up from the dumps when you were down? I bet he misses you too.

    You need to decide what you want to do though, sorry I couldn't really help.

    It's hard when I don''t really know you that well. Only those that know you best will be able to help really.


    Hope things are better soon x
    Yes I am reserved and introverted... I like to spend time with people but only the right people. I don't like to be too open with those I don't know because I'm afraid they'll take me the wrong way.
    My boyfriend always used to bring me up from the dumps but also a lot of the time I was depressed because of our relationship, whether it was because we had been arguing or because I miss him too much.
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    I've been and am still going through pretty much similar situation, I moved to Scotland this autumn, I'm originally from scandinavia... It's always difficult to adjust to new places or situations but as well as that i've been really depressed because I have a really serious medical issue, I've needed to go to doctor's every now and then. I considered quitting uni but I'm not doing that, at least yet. There's lots of other things going on in my life too... Wanna be in contact? If that would help. Just inbox me.
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    haha don't really know why i've been given a negative rating for this...
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    (Original post by allieee)
    haha don't really know why i've been given a negative rating for this...
    welcome to tsr!
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    All that I can say is PLEASE don't quit. You would regret it. I know it's a bit miserable being lonely, but this is about your degree and your future. It's easy for me to say this now, but I did go through a lot last year and am glad I didn't quit
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    (Original post by allieee)
    haha don't really know why i've been given a negative rating for this...
    Cause you haven't got it that bad.

    Drop out of Uni and you'll regret it in no time when you're over this stuff.
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    I was just about to reply to this thread, as I always do with threads like this, as I've been through EXACTLY the same thing, then I realised who you are and I remember you telling me about your ****ty housemates in freshers

    Just so you know, I do know exactly how you feel. Only earlier this year I dropped out... although it was more because I couldn't stand my course, the social side was OK. Now I'm here and I love my course but my social side is lacking... but I've tried my hardest to make it change.

    Honestly, I know how it feels to be lonely. I live with people who are basically strangers to me, they're all pleasant but there is a mix of non-students, third years, postgrad etc so we're all really really different.

    What I've done is tried to join some societies and get things going there, and so far its started working out really well It took a while, at first I felt like none of those people were my friends, just people I saw once a week, and they're still not really my 'friends' but I'm starting to get more involved and enjoy being with them all.

    All I could say really is it seems like you're getting wrapped up in your own mind being lonely, I know how that feels. If you ever want to come along to a society meeting with me (I run Tea Society and we're all really friendly, and planning lots of extra things next year) and Belly Dancing which is great for meeting people and have lots of fun socials and shows (you don't have to get your belly out! You don't even have to be any good... its a big laugh really!) If you ever want to come along to some stuff with me just to occupy your mind and have a bit of social time you're more than welcome I'll be joining Yoga and pole dancing next year too

    The only other bit of advice I can say is just try and keep focussed on why you're here. I tell myself every day that although my life is a bit bland its only 3 years, which won't seem like anything when I'm 80. Although I want a good life now, I'm still here to make my life better in the future so I just keep focussed, and my grades are going well which gives me a little beam of hapiness too

    Honestly, if you ever want to go for a coffee or go to the cinema or anything like that, let me know. I feel like I spend most of my life doing stuff on my own :p:
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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    Cause you haven't got it that bad.

    Drop out of Uni and you'll regret it in no time when you're over this stuff.
    No, I never said anyone had died or anything...
    ... but for me, feeling depressed and alone for the first time in my life is quite a big thing. sorry if that offends anyone. i thought my post was a lot healthier than a lot of the stuff in the h+r forum anyway
 
 
 
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