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    ok, so here's the deal. I really like a guy and he likes me, but there's a catch. He is in the same band as my ex boyfriend (of about 3 months ago). He's struggling to get his head round it and about what is 'right' to do, because he doesnt want to alienate my ex as they are mates, but my ex is happily loved up with a new girlfriend.

    I wouldnt want to cause any problems but I really like him
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    If you're really in love, then it can't be helped. Your ex will have to get used to it.

    Perhaps keep it on the sly for a little while.
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    your ex is in another relationship.
    it shouldn't bother him.
    (:
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    your ex has moved on, three months has elapsed. go for it!
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    thanks guys

    (Original post by marcusmerehay)
    If you're really in love, then it can't be helped. Your ex will have to get used to it.

    Perhaps keep it on the sly for a little while.
    we're not together atm but we've started talking a lot more and im developing quite strong feelings for him as i get to know him better.
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    Your ex is already loved up, so I doubt he'll care.
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    Your ex should not dictate your potential future relationships. It might be polite for the guy you're seeing to inform your ex before he has to find out by shock or being told - yes this can happen even when we think we're over someone - but don't let him stop the two of you from making your own decisions.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ok, so here's the deal. I really like a guy and he likes me, but there's a catch. He is in the same band as my ex boyfriend (of about 3 months ago). He's struggling to get his head round it and about what is 'right' to do, because he doesnt want to alienate my ex as they are mates, but my ex is happily loved up with a new girlfriend.

    I wouldnt want to cause any problems but I really like him
    I don't think you could cause problems by doing this, especially if your ex has a new girlfriend and appears to be over you. It really depends if the guys are just bandmates or are close/best friends. Just take it slowly anyway.
    Be aware you might get a bit of a reputation from it though- think groupie.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    thanks everyone so far x
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    anyone else? x
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    shameful bump x
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    Just get your friend to chat to your ex-boyfriend about it, its a polite thing to do to let them know. But seeing as your ex is in a relationship already he shouldn't have a problem with it
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    It really all just comes down to your ex and how he'd feel. Even though you've broken up, he might not like seeing you with somebody else anyway, let alone his bandmate. My ex of 3 months is in a band (funny coincidence) and I can't imagine he'd be too happy if I started going out with one of them. Imagine your ex with one of YOUR friends - that's assuming you don't know his new gf anyway - would you be okay with it?
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    well your ex is not the problem...the question is...is the guy ur after ok with it? unfortunately some guys preach "bros before hos". its a sad sad world.
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    hmm, I say go for it, you rule your own life, however remember that the friendship betweenyour ex and your new lover may be at risk.
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    thats what im concerned about, i dont want to cause tension in the band...
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    I love groupies
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    Go for it, keep it quiet if you're concerned.
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    thanks
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    You haven't really filled us in on the circumstances - who broke up with who, whether it was messy, how long you were together, whether either of both of you were in love.
    Like others have said, this guy would need to talk to your ex.
    If you get together, just be warned: there will be some incredibly awkward moments, and the friendship between this guy and your ex will probably never be quite the same, even if they both think they're cool with it.
    I'm sure they'll come up with some er, interesting song material.
 
 
 
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