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VERY VERY VERY overprotective parents Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So my parents are Muslims. I'm a non practicing one. I don't really know if I believe in it, but I'd like to be given the time to work it out, time which I don't really have at the moment because of trying to keep up with my studies + stay sane.

    Today something really bad happened. My parents are majorly against any sort of goin out and doing things. Yes, it is sort of like a prison. But recently I'd been thinking to myself that seeing as I'm 17 and I always try my hardest in school and get really good grades that I deserved a bit more freedom. And I've been going to gigs and stuff which I've sort of agreed to without telling my parents and then because I've asked too late for me to then go back on it, I've had to go. So when one of my friends (who my mum knows and trusts and has met his parents etc.) suggested going to the cinema I didn't really think twice. Admittedly I'm a girl and so I could understand why they'd be wary about it if it was someone they didn't know. But he is someone they know. And his girlfriend is a best friend of mine too. So I don't really see what the problem is. Anyway my dad went schiz and thought he was my secret boyfriend or something which clearly isn't the case. And now i dont know what to do. I want to leave this place. I've been stuck in a rut for so long. I hate everything about my culture and truth be told I've been wishing for some form of death to come. I just hate how much just something as small as wanting to go the cinema causes such a big argument. I've always tried my hardest to make my parents proud of me. My academic life has been great. But it's not everything. And it's certainly not enough to make me want to live.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So my parents are Muslims. I'm a non practicing one. I don't really know if I believe in it, but I'd like to be given the time to work it out, time which I don't really have at the moment because of trying to keep up with my studies + stay sane.

    Today something really bad happened. My parents are majorly against any sort of goin out and doing things. Yes, it is sort of like a prison. But recently I'd been thinking to myself that seeing as I'm 17 and I always try my hardest in school and get really good grades that I deserved a bit more freedom. And I've been going to gigs and stuff which I've sort of agreed to without telling my parents and then because I've asked too late for me to then go back on it, I've had to go. So when one of my friends (who my mum knows and trusts and has met his parents etc.) suggested going to the cinema I didn't really think twice. Admittedly I'm a girl and so I could understand why they'd be wary about it if it was someone they didn't know. But he is someone they know. And his girlfriend is a best friend of mine too. So I don't really see what the problem is. Anyway my dad went schiz and thought he was my secret boyfriend or something which clearly isn't the case. And now i dont know what to do. I want to leave this place. I've been stuck in a rut for so long. I hate everything about my culture and truth be told I've been wishing for some form of death to come. I just hate how much just something as small as wanting to go the cinema causes such a big argument. I've always tried my hardest to make my parents proud of me. My academic life has been great. But it's not everything. And it's certainly not enough to make me want to live.
    Hey

    I'm also a 17 year old girl, and I'm pretty much in exactly the same position as you...maybe slightly worse. I sort of believe in Islam, but I don't pray etc. The worst part about that is that my parents think I do. If the subject is ever brought up, I'll insist that I pray.
    Going out clubbing/with guys is totally out of the question for me. At most, I can go round friends houses, to town/the cinema, or something lame like that. Oh..and it has to be with girls only. The reason why my situation is slightly different, is that befriending guys is also a complete travesty in my parents' eyes.
    I also hate how small things like going for a meal with friends can be turned into such a big deal, especially when my friends' parents wouldn't think twice about letting their kids out.
    My academic life is also great and I honestly believe I can get far with my career, but just like you said, that doesn't seem enough to me to make life worth living. Now, I don't mean to sound suicidal but there are times when I think I've just had enough and I wish I could run away and lead my own life with my own rules. I guess I don't because...I wimp out?
    I truly, truly understand how you're feeling if you want to talk.
    Sucks to be us huh.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey

    I'm also a 17 year old girl, and I'm pretty much in exactly the same position as you...maybe slightly worse. I sort of believe in Islam, but I don't pray etc. The worst part about that is that my parents think I do. If the subject is ever brought up, I'll insist that I pray.
    Going out clubbing/with guys is totally out of the question for me. At most, I can go round friends houses, to town/the cinema, or something lame like that. Oh..and it has to be with girls only. The reason why my situation is slightly different, is that befriending guys is also a complete travesty in my parents' eyes.
    I also hate how small things like gGoing for a meal with friends can be turned into such a big deal, especially when my friends' parents wouldn't think twice about letting their kids out.
    My academic life is also great and I honestly believe I can get far with my career, but just like you said, that doesn't seem enough to me to make life worth living. Now, I don't mean to sound suicidal but there are times when I think I've just had enough and I wish I could run away and lead my own life with my own rules. I guess I don't because...I wimp out?
    I truly, truly understand how you're feeling if you want to talk.
    Sucks to be us huh.
    It really does suck to be us. Like the worst part is that it's so not a big deal and it causes so much stress. Like going to the cinema you shouldn't have to think twice about saying yes because you're 17 and it's just not a huge deal, but it causes such a big problem and it ruins actually going too! I feel like nothing I do is enough to warrant some kind of freedom.

    Worst thing is that I really like this boy, and it could go somewhere but it's so ridiculous to even think about. And I honestly feel really lonely sometimes. Just having someone there to hug you or hold your hand would be so good. My parents genuinely believe that I shouldn't have a life. In the car today my dad said to me 'Your life should be your education just like my life is my work' it's completely ridiculous. But as soon as I'm around my friends all of this seems to disappear until I need to think about going back home. So none of my friends know what's going on and I can't bring myself to tell my best friend (who's a boy) even though I know he'd understand because then it's like it's moved into part of my school life as well.

    I hope you're okay. Seem to have patches where it's worse than other times right?

    I'm here for you if you ever need to just tell someone what's going on. A problem shared is a problem halved? Although this problem never seems to reduce in size ever
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    hey
    to both of you i know how you feel!
    im a pakistani muslim girl and my parents are just as bad , it's come to the point now where my dad checks my facebook
    i know how you feel though its the little things, i dont understand why something like going for a meal can be made into such a big deal , until i came to uni i wasnt allowed to go anywhere apart from freinds houses or town
    to the OP all i can say is have faith and try to get through thesde years once your at uni you will have a freedom , just think of the bigger picture that's what i did , i know we should respect our parents but they're not always right , if you ever need to talk let me know

    to the second anon i i feel so bad for you im in a similar situation in that i like a guy but i can't even dare tell my parents beacuse they would kill , im 19 now at uni but still treated like a child , it so sucks to be us , just fight it out and think of when your at uni and all the freedom you'll have

    hope you guys are okay
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So my parents are Muslims. I'm a non practicing one. I don't really know if I believe in it, but I'd like to be given the time to work it out, time which I don't really have at the moment because of trying to keep up with my studies + stay sane.

    Today something really bad happened. My parents are majorly against any sort of goin out and doing things. Yes, it is sort of like a prison. But recently I'd been thinking to myself that seeing as I'm 17 and I always try my hardest in school and get really good grades that I deserved a bit more freedom. And I've been going to gigs and stuff which I've sort of agreed to without telling my parents and then because I've asked too late for me to then go back on it, I've had to go. So when one of my friends (who my mum knows and trusts and has met his parents etc.) suggested going to the cinema I didn't really think twice. Admittedly I'm a girl and so I could understand why they'd be wary about it if it was someone they didn't know. But he is someone they know. And his girlfriend is a best friend of mine too. So I don't really see what the problem is. Anyway my dad went schiz and thought he was my secret boyfriend or something which clearly isn't the case. And now i dont know what to do. I want to leave this place. I've been stuck in a rut for so long. I hate everything about my culture and truth be told I've been wishing for some form of death to come. I just hate how much just something as small as wanting to go the cinema causes such a big argument. I've always tried my hardest to make my parents proud of me. My academic life has been great. But it's not everything. And it's certainly not enough to make me want to live.
    I know exactly what you mean.:console:

    I'm Hindu, not Muslim, but I had the same problem with my parents. When I was 17 my dad wouldn't even let me go out for lunch with my friends who were all girls!

    I couldn't speak to any of my friends about it, because none of them would have understood. They probably would have laughed and made me feel even worse.

    I'm 19 and at uni now. Things are slightly better.

    But I feel so bad every time I go home. I really hurts me to constantly lie to my parents all the time. They would kill me if they knew the kind of things I get up to at uni! I go out clubbing and wear 'unacceptable' clothes, but I genuinely don't think I do anything that bad.

    Sorry, I don't really have much advice for you. I just felt like having a rant too! Are you off to uni soon? Things might get slightly better when you're away from home. x
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know exactly what you mean.:console:

    I'm Hindu, not Muslim, but I had the same problem with my parents. When I was 17 my dad wouldn't even let me go out for lunch with my friends who were all girls!

    I couldn't speak to any of my friends about it, because none of them would have understood. They probably would have laughed and made me feel even worse.

    I'm 19 and at uni now. Things are slightly better.

    But I feel so bad every time I go home. I really hurts me to constantly lie to my parents all the time. They would kill me if they knew the kind of things I get up to at uni! I go out clubbing and wear 'unacceptable' clothes, but I genuinely don't think I do anything that bad.

    Sorry, I don't really have much advice for you. I just felt like having a rant too! Are you off to uni soon? Things might get slightly better when you're away from home. x


    Hmm well I don't think you should feel bad, you're doing what you want to do and no one should stop you from doing that especially when you're making choices which aren't really bad like taking drugs or
    prostituting yourself! Have a good tome I say. I doubt our parents will ever understand but when it comes to you having kids you'll be a great mom because you'll know what it's like to have parents who don't tale into account your opinions.

    With regards to Uni, I'm applying to do medicine and so there's a chance that I won't get any offers this year although hopefully I will! I'm really stressed out at the moment with it all though. I just want an offer so badly so I can get away.
 
 
 
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