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Should i plan the date or not? Watch

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Sorry, this might be long. I'll try to kep it as brief as possible, and only include relevant background information.

    I tried internet dating (im a girl), and got chatting to a nice young man on there. He was what i was looking for, but i felt like i was moving too fast, as i had just been broken up with a month prior to that. However, the young man i talked to online was very nice, and i enjoyed talking to him. He suggested meeting up, and i agreed. However due to lack of money (i thought i had enough, and then checked my balance and i had nothing), i sent him a message declining the invitation. I then spent a few weeks ignoring him online, i didn't want to read the message because i felt awful about how i may have made him feel. However he sent one last message, telling me that this was going to be the last message he sends me, but he'd really love to talk to me again as he enjoyed our conversations. I replied, and about a week later we met up.

    I had a lovely time on our first date, however i still wasn't really looking for a relationship with anyone, because of how i felt about my previous partner. However, i did think highly of the person i was dating at this time. He told me he had a lovely evening, and suggested we did it again some time. We met up about a week later, and again had a lovely time. (We greeted with a hug and a kiss, which we had done since the first date).

    Unfortunately, he had to go to university quite a way away from where we live at the moment, and he rarely sends me messages, but when he does he apologises and tells me he's been really busy.

    Looking back, i can see i acted coldly towards him. All our conversations were mainly one sided, and when he suggested date ideas, i would reply with 'i don't mind', or 'i've not thought about it.' It saddens me now how i treated him, because after a long hard think, he's actually everything i want in a man, and i enjoyed his company immensely. In the few months we've been apart, i've managed to get my head together, and get over the person before him, and i suppose my feelings for him have grown.

    I wanted to plan a surprise date when he gets back, i have a few good ideas because i know his interests. I wanted to completely treat him, partly to let him know my affections for him, and partly to apologise for the way i behaved before. However, our lack of communication renders this difficult, as i don't even know if he would be interested anymore.

    So all in all, do you think i've completely blown it with him, because of the way i treated him previously, or do you think it would be a good idea to plan the date out? (I want to plan/book most of it, with room for variation if need be).

    Short version:

    • Met guy online
    • Still had feelings for ex
    • Was cold and distant to guy online.
    • Guy online shows interest, but goes back to university
    • I have time to think about things, get over my ex and my affections for guy met online grow
    • Unsure of whether i have blown it with guy online, or whether i should go ahead and plan the date
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    I tried internet dating (im a girl), and got chatting to a nice young man on there. He was what i was looking for, but i felt like i was moving too fast, as i had just been broken up with a month prior to that.
    I stopped reading here.

    Why try online dating if you aren't yet ready to do any actual dating?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by OMGWTFBBQ)
    I stopped reading here.

    Why try online dating if you aren't yet ready to do any actual dating?
    I did mention in my profile that i wasn't looking for anything serious at the time. I was more window shopping in the hope that i would find someone better than my ex. However, when it boiled down to it, i realised once i had been on dates with people that it wasn't the right time.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm sorry, i do realise that people don't know exactly what he is thinking/feeling. But i am just wondering what others would feel if they were treated in such a way, and whether they would be interested in going on a third date with a girl who treated you slightly coldly, but was friendly enough with you?
 
 
 
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