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    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    A few months ago I met this girl, through a common friend. We don't live in the same place, however, a bunch of people who met back then have been keeping contact.
    This girl and I, however, have seen a few times.
    Once or twice with other people, and twice alone, both her and me. This has included strolling around the city centre, having coffee together, and also going to the cinema.
    These two times we've gone alone, I kinda classify them as 'dates'. We met up as friends, but just the two of us, without telling our common friends, and kind of knowing that it might be classified as a date (both, I guess).
    I am thinking of setting up another 'date', just go for a stroll and have a drink and talk, before Christmas.
    But it'll be the third date like, the third in the last month or so (we live 20 miles away so it's actually hard to set up something, with revision and exams and stuff)...
    She knows I've been hurt recently in love, as I am (was, as a matter of fact) deeply in love with someone else.

    I am not madly in love with her, but the truth is I like her. A lot. I fancy being around her, talking to her, it just feels so right. It's not mad love, but it is something to start with.
    For the first time in many years, I believe I might have a shot. However, I don't really want to ruin it (plus, there's common friends in the middle of it, who I'd have to inform, even if they wouldn't oppose, but you see...).

    My doubt, of course, is: should I ask her out?
    I might have a go, see if it works. On the other hand, I'm not sure if she likes me back. We certainly Skype everyday, which is remarkable given we met a few months ago and we're considered to barely know each other. And both have already stated that it's nice talking and meeting up with the other.
    In our texts and stuff recently we have started adding little hearts (I think she started and then I followed). Plus, it's Christmas, tis the season to be jolly! The main thing putting me off asking her out is she actually knows I have been in love with someone else for years. As far as she's concerned, I still am.
    What do I do?


    PS: I don't think this is too long for a 'tl;dr'.

    You must get a feeling one way or the other - that she is either attracted to you as more than just freinds - or not.

    Do you notice her becoming more physical.. holding hands.. playfull stuff etc etc?
    Does she actively set-up day's out with you? Or just go along when you suggest it? (Which would indicate she sees you as more of just a friend).

    From what you said, i'm getting the impression that she IS attracted to you...

    So, why wait around!?

    That's not to say you have to actually 'ask her out', always sounds abit high-school'y to me.

    Just continue seeing her, if you both like eachother. I'm sure nature will take care of the rest....
    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    Thanks. I believe she is attracted to me in some way, but sort of like me. Attracted, but not really in love or anything of the kind.
    Physical? I don't think so. I'd consider it creepy, though (in our culture, whatever people believe, it might be considered creepy, for now at least).
    We plan things both. Either I ask and she says yes or she asks and I say yes, then we both organise what to do.
    As 'childish' as it may sound, I actually want to do it right. I don't want to leave things to Mother Nature... she has betrayed me a few times, and I don't think I'd be able to make the complete move unless I did it well.

    We're meeting up next week, I'm buying her a book she mentioned a few days ago she'd like to read... it's not a best-seller or anything, I'm sure she does not really expect me to buy it. That might do the trick, maybe, when I give it to her?

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    Sorry. By asking her out I didn't mean to ask her to go on a date with me (like friends, just going to the cinema, or to have a coffee or something).
    I've pretty much already done that.
    I meant asking her to be my proper girlfriend.
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