Basically, tomorrow, after a lot of persuasion my boyfriend of three years is going to the doctor's tomorrow to try and get some help and has asked me to go with him. He had to leave university because of anxiety last year and has been having irregular CBT since, but his panic attacks and mood swings have got much worse. Having done research, I think he has nearly every symptom of depression on the list, he loses weight, he feels worthless, making any decisions brings on panic attcks and he'll often talk to me about putting himself in front of a train.He honestly believe that his life is over, as he has no degree, no friends and he's not getting better.
Sometimes I feel like I'm going out with about five different people as he'll be fine, albeit quiet, and then, just because he has to go out, or think about talking to someone he hasn't seen in a while, he'll curl up, hyperventilate and clap his hands in front of his eyes so I can't look at him. The most confusing thing is that he tries to hide this from his family, because he says he loves them too much to worry them, when I say that putting himself under a train would make them sad he just says that he wouldn't be there to see it. They know that he tells me things, so they try and contact me for information. I can completely understand why they need and want to know what's going on, but I don't know whether I'm betraying him more by telling them, or not telling them, as I don't live with him, so can't look out for him 24/7. What I'd really like to know is if other people have been in a similar situation, what anyone thinks I should do to help him and some kind of idea what might happen at the doctors tomorrow. Thank you very much for reading this far if you've got down here.
How to help someone? Watch
- Thread Starter
- 13-12-2010 22:46
- 13-12-2010 23:05
If you really want to be there for him, be strong is all I can say. About the family, I think it depends on his relationship to his family. Are they extremely close? If so, then you should encourage him to speak to them.
Deep depression can last a long time.Last edited by Susant; 13-12-2010 at 23:07.
- 13-12-2010 23:13
well done for being so supportive of him up until now - not everyone would keep seeong a guy like that! have u thought of taking him to a therapist?
- Thread Starter
- 13-12-2010 23:35
I don't really know what strong is though. He's very close to his family, but they can be stifling and there is a family history of depression and manic depression, so I'm not exactly sure how good they are for him. He has a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist, but that doesn't seem to be working very well. I find him being upset hard, but it's more when he gets all frantic and starts telling me that it's all my fault, that I only ever think about myself and that the only thing that will ever make him happy is being dead that it gets a little scary. It scares me that he can suddenly become so different. He's normally so reserved, but yet, when he's like that he'll shout at me in public.