I've been going out with my girlfriend for 4 months, we've had our issues every now and then, but everything's always been much more solvable than this. She told me that she loved me the other day and the best I was able to respond with was: 'Thanks. I don't love you, but I think I can in the future' or something to that degree.
I know, something an idiot says, but having no real experience in this and not really having thought about it, it was the best I could come up with at the time. Obviously she took it a lot more seriously and it's become a massive issue.
The crux is basically, she can't go out with someone that doesn't love her back, which is perfectly understandable. The main problem is of course I don't know if I love her back, I seriously lack an understanding of what it is to love someone (completely out of tune with my own feelings in this situation), so I have no idea myself, but if I could put money on anything it would be that I will love her in the future.
She doesn't want to wait to find out thought, it's now in her head that if I don't love her now, it's unlikely that I ever will, is this unreasonable? We've been close and everything's been gradually building up, but it's almost like she's skipped a step somewhere and I don't know what to do.
How can I respond? I don't know myself if I love her or not, but it's like the situation demands that I either tell her that I love her or I just lose her completely. Obviously i'd rather stay with her (we get along, I love spending time with her and we talk pretty much everyday), but if I don't know if I love her, would telling her I love her would be more lies than anything? That wouldn't be a healthy base for a relationship as far as I know!
The icing is that I know that even if I tell her that I love her, in all likeliness she'd probably try and tell me that I was lying, presuming that I figure out that I actually do love her. I don't want to end up lying, realising I don't love her really and then telling her in like a few months time that I don't love her and crush her, I could never do that to her.
What the hell do I do? What's for the best?
Sorry for the text-wall.
She loves me, do I love her? Watch
- Thread Starter
- 14-12-2010 00:22
- 14-12-2010 00:24
Do you? I don't know.