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Student-teacher relationship Watch

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    I'm 17, almost eighteen and he is in his early twenties. He's not actually my teacher, but he did teach me for a while last year.

    To start off, we do not have a relationship. But I believe he is attracted to me and I'm attracted to him. I realise nothing can ever, ever happen about it, and if he were ever to act on it I would lose all respect for him, but saying that doesn't make the problem go away.

    I think about him all the time. The worst part is I know it's completely pointless. I try to block him out of my mind but he's around a lot and he's always so nice to me. Every time he walks past he smiles at me and asks me how I am, which is awkward when you're passing each other on a stairwell, and when we're in a room full of people he's always looking at me. I can't be sure he likes me in that way but w/o a doubt he treats me differently to other students - he's much more chatty, smiley.

    I suppose it's completely natural because he's not much older than me but obviously nothing could happen - I just want to stop being attracted to him, but how can I do this?
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    Just keep not reacting to it. I'm guessing at least at the start you got a confidence boost out of this and intentionally flirted with him a little - that's just fuelling the fire. Just cut those things out and try to wait it out, it's all you can do really.
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    (Original post by Aurora.)
    Just keep not reacting to it. I'm guessing at least at the start you got a confidence boost out of this and intentionally flirted with him a little - that's just fuelling the fire. Just cut those things out and try to wait it out, it's all you can do really.
    Yes, it always makes me feel on top of the world when he acknowledges me, even now. But it's making me feel so awkward, being around him. Waiting it out is what I have been doing, but I'll be so sad to leave and never see him again. You know when you just fit with someone, you just feel it's right and you don't question---initially?
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    I want one, some of my teachers are hot.
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    Well, 17 to early twenties isn't a significant gap, so it has the potential to work on that front, and the only technicality making it difficult is the fact that he's a teacher, and going out with a student would be seen as abusing a position of trust, whether it was or not. People may think I'm mad for saying this, but perhaps when you've left school there could be a chance? You're what, about 9 months off this?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes, it always makes me feel on top of the world when he acknowledges me, even now. But it's making me feel so awkward, being around him. Waiting it out is what I have been doing, but I'll be so sad to leave and never see him again. You know when you just fit with someone, you just feel it's right and you don't question---initially?
    Yeah, I know. I suppose you could keep in touch after you leave school? You can't be far off leaving now... Just exchange email addresses or something and you can still be friends. And then if it goes anywhere else from there it'll be okay (I think) as long as it's clear there was nothing going on when you were still in school. And you never know, maybe uni (are you planning on going to uni?) will distract you.
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    If he makes a move just tell him that you reciprocate his feelings but nothing can happen till you've left the college. It isn't that long off?
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    Nothing should happen before you finish school. It really isn't worth the risk - the penalties for him in particular would be great, as he would be abusing his position of trust.

    Something could happen once you are no longer at school however. A friend of mine was in a similar situation. When she left school at 16, and got a job, she started dating one of the ICT teachers. They are actually still in a relationship 5 years on, although I did think he was wrong to start something up [personally]...
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    Most pointless thread ever.

    You know nothing can happen, you'd respect him less if he ever made a move = Why the thread?
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    I know you say that nothing could happen, but if you did want something to happen, definitely wait until you're out of school. However, this could just be a big crush, and because you see him every day at school, it's hard to get rid off. When you leave school it is very likely that you'll be distracted by other things and other boys and you'll forget about him.
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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    Most pointless thread ever.

    You know nothing can happen, you'd respect him less if he ever made a move = Why the thread?
    Most constructive reply ever.

    Wouldn't life be brilliant if there was a definite conclusion for everything.
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    Oh just do it. And film it and put it on the internet.

    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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    Every time you see him, repeat "gay, gay, gay, gay, gay" in your head. After a while you'll start half believing that he's gay. It's the only way I manage to get through lessons with my absolutely gorgeous philosophy teacher without getting distracted.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Most constructive reply ever.

    Wouldn't life be brilliant if there was a definite conclusion for everything.
    Yes, it would, too bad there isn't.

    But fortunately for you there is one for this, now go away.
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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    Yes, it would, too bad there isn't.

    But fortunately for you there is one for this, now go away.
    I only wish there were a way to put up a shield, a kind of firewall, for keyboard warriors in my threads. They seem to flock to mine all the time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I only wish there were a way to put up a shield, a kind of firewall, for keyboard warriors in my threads. They seem to flock to mine all the time.
    You obviously make too much threads.

    I thought this one was pathetic enough, but wow.
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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    You obviously make too much threads.

    I thought this one was pathetic enough, but wow.
    If you are going to be a complete arse, at least do it with a modicum of wit. Yawn indeed.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...
    Why would you lose respect for him if he made a move, since attraction is mutual? Is it just because you're not 18 yet? :confused:

    Why could nothing ever happen? Once you leave school and are not legally jailbait, what could stop you from a happy relationship?
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    (Original post by Glowy Amoeba)
    Why would you lose respect for him if he made a move, since attraction is mutual? Is it just because you're not 18 yet? :confused:

    Why could nothing ever happen? Once you leave school and are not legally jailbait, what could stop you from a happy relationship?
    I suppose because he would be abusing his position of trust and it would show he had no control over himself.
    Maybe something will happened one day, I hope... but I can't see us exchanging contact details--we're neither off us particularly outgoing people, and it would seem odd to those around us.
    I suppose these going-nowhere attractions happen all the time and we just have to deal with them
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I suppose because he would be abusing his position of trust and it would show he had no control over himself.
    Maybe something will happened one day, I hope... but I can't see us exchanging contact details--we're neither off us particularly outgoing people, and it would seem odd to those around us.
    I suppose these going-nowhere attractions happen all the time and we just have to deal with them
    Hmmm well if both of you would be happy with it, it's not what I would call a loss of control on his part or a form of abuse. If he's not responsible for your grades the situation isn't as sticky as you make it out to be.
    Anyway there's no point in fearing the opinions of others, the teacher-student fantasy is pretty common and if you got sneered at it would be a symptom of envy rather than scorn.
    If you really don't want to go ahead with it, well don't worry. You just need another boyfriend and you will forget all about the pointless attraction

    Random crushes make life interesting you know :sexface:
 
 
 
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