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Evidence he may have cheated, but I don't know if I want to say anything! Watch

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    Anon because I don't want him or his friends to read this. I'm sure this comes up all the time and I'm pretty sure I know what replied I'm going to get. But if you try and put yourself in my shoes first before you reply I would appreceate it.

    I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years (we are both 21), we have had a few problems along the way with paranoia, both being students in the same city but at different universities. He was paranoid about me in the first year and in the 2nd year the roles reversed. It was all because of facebook (go on laugh I know you want to) and as we never got to know each other's friends I kept asking who's that you're hugging, and why are you always in a picture with this girl. I did trust that he didn't cheat on me but I still had doubts.

    I know you will say if you have doubts, theres no trust= no relationship, but its different. When we are together we are great, we love eachother and we are best friends. Jealousy is the only thing that ruins us.

    I was paranoid about a girl (who is also in a serious relationship) last year because of many pictures they looked very close and happy in. After meeting her and getting more integrated in the group I took the thought out of my mind, thinking she's just a friendly girl. Today I uncovered some pictures from a random old album from last year. My boyfriend is seen in the background with that girl hugging pretty intimately, in another picture of that night it looks like he has lipstick smeared around his lips, but I can't be sure as it just looks a bit pink. Comparing it to other photos of him at the beginning of the night he didnt have those marks before.

    I wrote out a letter on the computer about how I feel about this and what I found. But my dilemma is, do I send?

    He is my everything, and if I lose him, that's it, I've lost everything. For instance we have both been booked for each other's family holidays so thats one issue. Also, I know we have argued a lot over the summer and we finally thought the arguments were over and what if it turns out somehow that he really didn't cheat?? Then I'm the villain in all of this, and I would have ruined the best thing we have.

    If he did cheat, and admits it, can I forgive him? I still love him so much.
    If he cheated and still says he doesn't, what then? Will I wonder forever until we break up anyway.

    Has anyone been in this situation before? What did you do. I don't even know what I'm trying to get out of writing this, but I'm just so scared and don't know whether to ask him or try and take it out of my mind!
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    Paranoia has gotten the best of you.
    If you love him as much as you say you and the relationship is as strong as you say it is. You need to let go and trust him fully. I struggled with this situation myself, and still am.. but the best possible thing to do is just trust. Trust trust trust. Unless you have 100% evidence and you're 100% sure. Don't dare say anything. He'll only think you don't trust him. Which, if he hasn't cheated, will be
    devastating to him.

    How do I know this?

    I wrote out a letter too. I sent mine...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    I know you will say if you have doubts, theres no trust= no relationship, but its different. When we are together we are great, we love eachother and we are best friends. Jealousy is the only thing that ruins us.
    Sorry but it is true that paranoia and jealous means a relationship will not survive. Maybe talk to him about it but if you ain't sure that he really has cheated then you could be feeling like an idiot after. I've cuddled other girls when I had a girlfriend and it just means nothing more than a friendly hug.
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    this sounds like some serious facebook stalking :/. Please tell me you didnt add the girl that you seen him in the pictures with and started checking out her every post. Forget about it.
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    • Thread Starter
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    Firstly thank you for everyone's replies.

    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Sorry but it is true that paranoia and jealous means a relationship will not survive. Maybe talk to him about it but if you ain't sure that he really has cheated then you could be feeling like an idiot after. I've cuddled other girls when I had a girlfriend and it just means nothing more than a friendly hug.
    Thank you for this, I do understand that cuddling doesn't mean cheating, but it's just that particular night it looks like they were getting really chummy and the lipstick-like marks is what makes me think something more than a hug may have occured.
 
 
 
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