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Basically, I don't know whether to ditch my friends or not, due to drugs. Watch

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    I'm 21, about a year my "experimental drug use" got way out of hand with my friends, ruined some of my mums house, my family and girlfriend was worried sick about me... So I decided to make a big leap and just give it all up, I've been going good I'm top of my Accounting class, working on my days off, and I hardly ever go out.

    But that's the problem now I hardly ever go out. I still feel psychologically addicted to things, I know if I'm around the right (or wrong) people and I've had a drink then I'd be helpless to whatever was mentioned.

    All I'm asking is, what would everyone else do? I've got a big group of friends I'm seeing that don't do drugs etc. just go out to town every month or so together, then the other group of friends I used to hang around with during the day that smoke weed 24/7, snort what they can get hold off etc.

    Do I just ditch them? I basically have, but one of two of them used to be my best friends ever, they're just so stuck in this way of thinking they can't see where I'm coming from?

    Ditch them, or not? I've tried explaining a lot, tried offering to just go to pub for a quiet drink but they;d rrather stay inside, smoke some shotties snort some lines an go some rave... I tell them I've grown up now and fancy things like going out for meals with my girlfriend and another couple or a quiet drink an chat down pub.



    I gave this up in May this year and it's still haunting me I can't get rid of my horrible past. What would you all do?
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    Ditch them.
    You cant help people who don't want to help themselves, and you've said yourself you're doing very well.
    You should really just try and keep the past as an experimental period. I know it's fun and in a way it must be hard not to go back because of the good times...
    But the problem with such fun, is it does destroy you & relationships around you.
    And you've gotten out whilst you still had relationships left, i know many who did not and it's ****ed them up VERY badly (best friend has been in and out of mental institutions since she was 17 and is 20 now. Spent 13->19 doing drugs all the time). So be proud and happy you've managed that .

    What's there to gain from keeping friendship with the others?(drug users)
    I can only really see disadvantages - the constant battle of not going back to it.
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    Simply typing this has got my heart beating fast, I feel like I'm coming up on something just thinking about it, it's horrible.

    I was so pro-drug use for all the reasons you'd believe in, but now I regret everything so much. People shud me off and think "ah he's too soft"... I'm not I've ****ing been through it all, I've gone from an hour chill out with mates to 60+ hour sessions by myself. ****ing takes you by suprise, and I considered myself the most educated in substances in my area. :rolleyes:

    My girlfriend feels guilty leaving me alone for 1 night because she knows how much my past haunts me, I get the shakes an can't sleep I want it so badly still. It's so crazy it's still affecting me.
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    Ditch them, they are bringing you down with them.
    You start off with that, and build up the relationship you've had w/ your family/gf/real friends.
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    (Original post by AshleyT)
    Ditch them.
    You cant help people who don't want to help themselves, and you've said yourself you're doing very well.
    You should really just try and keep the past as an experimental period. I know it's fun and in a way it must be hard not to go back because of the good times...
    But the problem with such fun, is it does destroy you & relationships around you.
    And you've gotten out whilst you still had relationships left, i know many who did not and it's ****ed them up VERY badly (best friend has been in and out of mental institutions since she was 17 and is 20 now. Spent 13->19 doing drugs all the time). So be proud and happy you've managed that .

    What's there to gain from keeping friendship with the others?(drug users)
    I can only really see disadvantages - the constant battle of not going back to it.
    Yeah thanks, that's the main thing trying to sort of forget the good times. It doesn't help I feel years older than all my friends I guess.
    It's just a constant battle, if I chose to accept my girlfriends help all people say is I'm under the thumb or gone boring, there's no positive reinforcement for doing good.

    I've told my friends before I'm giving it all up an they say "that's fine we can still be friends an not do drugs" then I meet up with them one day and they spend like 4 hours in his ****ty tacky loft sitting on a bed mattress smoking weed... it's fine but I look up to people who have families an run their own businesses an I can never imagine them sitting in some ditchy loft watching a friend smoke weed.

    Maybe I should just say **** it an give up on them entirely? It would be easier, just so rude an heartbreaking.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah thanks, that's the main thing trying to sort of forget the good times. It doesn't help I feel years older than all my friends I guess.
    It's just a constant battle, if I chose to accept my girlfriends help all people say is I'm under the thumb or gone boring, there's no positive reinforcement for doing good.

    I've told my friends before I'm giving it all up an they say "that's fine we can still be friends an not do drugs" then I meet up with them one day and they spend like 4 hours in his ****ty tacky loft sitting on a bed mattress smoking weed... it's fine but I look up to people who have families an run their own businesses an I can never imagine them sitting in some ditchy loft watching a friend smoke weed.

    Maybe I should just say **** it an give up on them entirely? It would be easier, just so rude an heartbreaking.
    Well the problem with 'drug-type' friends (which i've come to realise in ALL drug-type relationships) is that most of the time, they're not your friends and they'll put themselves way before anyone else. Most won't think twice about screwing someone over for money, or just generally taking the piss. Not saying it's entirely like that with your friends, but it's a very common trend i've noticed.

    Friends put the other first, and they're not doing that for you. They seem more interested in pulling you back down so they can have their friend back(you) and the good times can continue. It's purely selfish. They should be happy you're doing so well for yourself, but clearly not.

    What exactly is it in your past that's haunting you? I know lots of situations can arise from being in these kinds of situations - one horror for example: my bestmate was round a friends with some others. Bout 5 of them all doing coke and having a good time. Next minute, knock on the door and someone comes through with a machete and starts wacking one of them over the head and threatening the rest (the one being whacked had got into a fight with the attackers son a few days before, hence the reason the attacker(the dad) was coming round). Luckily after being hit over the head with the machete he woke up, although covered in blood and needed stitches. He refused to call police etc though.

    Now obviously a situation like that is pretty horrific and i know such still bugs her. Drugs arn't to blame of course, but it was the type of people doing them, and the fact my mate wouldnt have been there had she not been doing it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Simply typing this has got my heart beating fast, I feel like I'm coming up on something just thinking about it, it's horrible.

    I was so pro-drug use for all the reasons you'd believe in, but now I regret everything so much. People shud me off and think "ah he's too soft"... I'm not I've ****ing been through it all, I've gone from an hour chill out with mates to 60+ hour sessions by myself. ****ing takes you by suprise, and I considered myself the most educated in substances in my area. :rolleyes:

    My girlfriend feels guilty leaving me alone for 1 night because she knows how much my past haunts me, I get the shakes an can't sleep I want it so badly still. It's so crazy it's still affecting me.

    Both physical and psychological addiction dies with time. Habitual usage patterns never do, so you can't afford to risk falling back into those same patterns.

    Luckily, most people do grow out of the heavy drug use phase.

    Personally for my group of friends, though many of us went through a 'every night out get ****ed' phase, after a few years I now have a great group of friends that use drugs (pretty much everything you could imagine and lots you cant) responsibly on special occasions.

    Basically keep the friends, but keep them at arms reach to avoid falling back into the routine yourself. They WILL likely move on at some point, you just have to wait it out without judging them.

    I'm lucky in that noone I know ever hit rock-bottom, we all still managed high-achieving education and careers, so no regrets here. Still pro-drug, still popping the occasional hallucinogen or dissociative now and then (off the euphorics mostly though).
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    (Original post by AshleyT)
    Well the problem with 'drug-type' friends (which i've come to realise in ALL drug-type relationships) is that most of the time, they're not your friends and they'll put themselves way before anyone else. Most won't think twice about screwing someone over for money, or just generally taking the piss. Not saying it's entirely like that with your friends, but it's a very common trend i've noticed.

    Friends put the other first, and they're not doing that for you. They seem more interested in pulling you back down so they can have their friend back(you) and the good times can continue. It's purely selfish. They should be happy you're doing so well for yourself, but clearly not.

    What exactly is it in your past that's haunting you? I know lots of situations can arise from being in these kinds of situations - one horror for example: my bestmate was round a friends with some others. Bout 5 of them all doing coke and having a good time. Next minute, knock on the door and someone comes through with a machete and starts wacking one of them over the head and threatening the rest (the one being whacked had got into a fight with the attackers son a few days before, hence the reason the attacker(the dad) was coming round). Luckily after being hit over the head with the machete he woke up, although covered in blood and needed stitches. He refused to call police etc though.

    Now obviously a situation like that is pretty horrific and i know such still bugs her. Drugs arn't to blame of course, but it was the type of people doing them, and the fact my mate wouldnt have been there had she not been doing it.
    Horrible over-generalisation. May apply to people seriously physically addicted to heroin or coke, but not your run of the mill stoner / e / mushrooms taker.

    The situation you describe rE: the machete is utterly ridiculous - what is the connection to them doing drugs? are you saying drug use = get into fights = attacked by maniacs? Because that's ridiculous. Most stoners and pill-poppers would be more likely to hug an attacker than start a fight :P
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 21, about a year my "experimental drug use" got way out of hand with my friends, ruined some of my mums house, my family and girlfriend was worried sick about me... So I decided to make a big leap and just give it all up, I've been going good I'm top of my Accounting class, working on my days off, and I hardly ever go out.

    But that's the problem now I hardly ever go out. I still feel psychologically addicted to things, I know if I'm around the right (or wrong) people and I've had a drink then I'd be helpless to whatever was mentioned.

    All I'm asking is, what would everyone else do? I've got a big group of friends I'm seeing that don't do drugs etc. just go out to town every month or so together, then the other group of friends I used to hang around with during the day that smoke weed 24/7, snort what they can get hold off etc.

    Do I just ditch them? I basically have, but one of two of them used to be my best friends ever, they're just so stuck in this way of thinking they can't see where I'm coming from?

    Ditch them, or not? I've tried explaining a lot, tried offering to just go to pub for a quiet drink but they;d rrather stay inside, smoke some shotties snort some lines an go some rave... I tell them I've grown up now and fancy things like going out for meals with my girlfriend and another couple or a quiet drink an chat down pub.



    I gave this up in May this year and it's still haunting me I can't get rid of my horrible past. What would you all do?
    Do you want to test your resolve.It only takes one too many drinks and crack looks yummmy

    I thinks it's time for you to have a fresh start your lucky your drug abuse didn't land you in jail.Use this second chance.........oh and well done apart from what you've said haven't you saved some dosh?
    Good luck Tom
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    (Original post by HistoryRepeating)
    Horrible over-generalisation. May apply to people seriously physically addicted to heroin or coke, but not your run of the mill stoner / e / mushrooms taker.

    The situation you describe rE: the machete is utterly ridiculous - what is the connection to them doing drugs? are you saying drug use = get into fights = attacked by maniacs? Because that's ridiculous. Most stoners and pill-poppers would be more likely to hug an attacker than start a fight :P
    Lol, well i wasn't talking about run of the mill drug-takers. I was talking more heroine/coke(since the OP was talking coke, and done very often). Not seriously addicted, but doing it weekly basis, mostly daily.

    And i implied it was a generalisation 'Not saying it's entirely like that with your friends, but it's a very common trend i've noticed.'

    It wasn't until Uni i realised that people who do just do weed or w.e aren't like that and it can be done under control without going OTT with em.

    I didn't mean the drugs, i meant the TYPE of people that was doing them(coke). The group she was with was always down a specific local pub and its a HORRENDOUS pub. I refuse to go there any-more. Most people in their are off their heads, and it's a lot of adults going mental, starting fights and bringing weapons into it. And the situation originated actually from that pub which was where the fight originally was which got the Dad involved who's an actual mentalist(hence why didn't want to call the police and get anything else involved which could escalate). And again, he's a coke head and from what was said, was off his tits when he came to the house with the machete.

    And i wasn't trying to imply the OP was with people like this. I was just asking what kind of things horrified him about his past, and gave that as an example to compare to really.

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      Ditch your bad influenced friends.
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      Defo ditch.

      I'm in a similar position to you, and I would DITCH the drug mates if I had normal people around me.
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      Ditch them. What they're doing may suit them but it doesn't suit you. You've tried to explain that to them and they won't listen. You tried to meet them halfway but they're still stuck on their own turf..any friend would respect another's friend decision to do/not do something. Build up relationships with your gf and new friends and don't let them go to waste.
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      Dump her.
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      ditch them for now and u get keep in touch with them on a distance and when they are different or at least accept going out for a coffee with u then u can start over again... so I dont think u have to completely vanish from them or so but if they dont accept u for who u've become then ditch them for reals...
      • #3
      #3

      (Original post by Anonymous)
      I'm 21, about a year my "experimental drug use" got way out of hand with my friends, ruined some of my mums house, my family and girlfriend was worried sick about me... So I decided to make a big leap and just give it all up, I've been going good I'm top of my Accounting class, working on my days off, and I hardly ever go out.

      But that's the problem now I hardly ever go out. I still feel psychologically addicted to things, I know if I'm around the right (or wrong) people and I've had a drink then I'd be helpless to whatever was mentioned.

      All I'm asking is, what would everyone else do? I've got a big group of friends I'm seeing that don't do drugs etc. just go out to town every month or so together, then the other group of friends I used to hang around with during the day that smoke weed 24/7, snort what they can get hold off etc.

      Do I just ditch them? I basically have, but one of two of them used to be my best friends ever, they're just so stuck in this way of thinking they can't see where I'm coming from?

      Ditch them, or not? I've tried explaining a lot, tried offering to just go to pub for a quiet drink but they;d rrather stay inside, smoke some shotties snort some lines an go some rave... I tell them I've grown up now and fancy things like going out for meals with my girlfriend and another couple or a quiet drink an chat down pub.



      I gave this up in May this year and it's still haunting me I can't get rid of my horrible past. What would you all do?
      Unfortunatly I am in the same situation. My 'friend', since he came back to university has been spending nearly £500 per month on what he says "cannabis". I believe it has gone further than this now. He is putting strain on our friendship. He has massive mood swings, he is unpredictable and lazy. I have though to my self over the last few weeks whether to ditch him or not... its a hard choice.

      Try and seek advice first from someone, i think talk to frank offers advice and things. its all anonymous so therefore you can call without duress.

      i truly understand your situation and what ever you do, dont regret the choice you make because after all its people who do nothing which regret things the most.
      • TSR Support Team
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      These friends should just accept that you don't do drugs anymore, you should feel proud for giving them up. If they don't like it, just ditch them as they ain't worth it.
     
     
     
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