I started going out with a guy from my university in 2nd year and our relationship lasted almost a year. It was great, loads of fun, trust, respect etc with only minor squabbles. However as we were both doing similar courses we let our relationship take over our lives (literally) and ended up never really going to lectures at all which led to us both unfortunately getting really bad end of year grades (we both only just managed to scrape a pass mark).
Now we are both in our final year and because of our grades last year i think my ex got really anxious. He broke up with me only 3 weeks into the first semester saying that our studies should take priority and rightly so its just I thought we would be able to at least try and make it work first before giving up completely!
Anyway he said he still definitely wanted to remain friends which I agreed to and tried at first but found to hard to keep up. So eventually I decided we should not speak for a while just for some space. After a couple of weeks we started talking again not as often as when we were together but as friends. So everything was fine. He suggested we could try again after graduation -_-
Until the other day when he told me that he has been finding it hard to cope with his decision to break up and that he is always thinking about me. He said i'm still the person he cares most about in the world and yesterday he told me he misses me.
I'm still not over him given the short space of time and admittedly if I asked I would take him back. I miss him so much but now I dont know what to do. I was so focused on getting over him now because of what he's been saying all I can think is maybe we should get back together...
Should I just forget it? Do I tell him what I'm thinking?
Heartbroken & confused! :( Watch
- 15-12-2010 15:32
- 15-12-2010 15:48
I think you should talk to him and sort something out. If you do decide to get back together though, make sure you don't let the relationship take over your life again.
- 15-12-2010 15:55
maybe u could work something out and see each other with other people or like make ur friends keep an eye on u so u focus on ur studies too
if u both miss each other then maybe u should talk and sort something out because u never broke up because of each other it was just that the relationship started eating at ur lives...
- 15-12-2010 16:12
What if he sticks by hos decision? I really couldnt bare the rejection tbh
- 15-12-2010 16:13
thanks for the replies
but what if he sticks by his decision?? i really couldnt deal with the rejection tbh
- 15-12-2010 16:45
For the moment, let's focus on how you feel. It's obvious from what you've said that you want him back, you still have deep feelings for him etc. You've told him what you want, so unfortunately (and this might sound horrible) the decision is in his hands. I don't think it's fair that he is giving you mixed signals and saying that you MIGHT get back together when you've graduated or whatever. It's giving you what is potentially false hope and that will not allow you to move on. I would say that workload is a poor excuse to end a relationship, as everyone should have time for a personal life, but if your grades need that much of a boost and you know in your heart of hearts that starting the relationship again will hinder this, maybe he's got a point. He just needs to give you a clear 'yes' or 'no' answer, although him saying that you will get back together at some point in the future is stupid as you never know what is going to happen. I say make a clean break and remain friends if you want, but don't talk about the future. If you are really right for each other, you will get back together naturally.
- 15-12-2010 16:49
Don't allow yourself to be in a situation where what he says has a ripple effect through your whole mindset. Arrange a time where you can have a good conversation with each other and go through all the details/worries that play on both your minds.
- 15-12-2010 17:06
If you both still love each other and you just broke up over essentially a technicality then you should definitely entertain the idea of getting back together because it seems like you'd both be happier.
- 15-12-2010 17:15
You have to talk to him about it, properly. Third year is half way over now, so there isn't much longer to go before your studies no longer have to be a priority.
You say you don't want to talk to him incase he hasn't changed his mind- but surely it can't be any worse than it is for you right now, so it has to be worth a shot!
- 15-12-2010 17:16
- 15-12-2010 17:26