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    Ok everyone say a funny joke or something...

    Why did Nick Clegg cross the road?

    Because he made a pledge that he wouldn't
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    Apparently, if you put your location as Newcastle on facebook, you get a 'like' button after every word
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    How do you get a black man out of a tree...?










    Cut the rope.

    Too much?
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    This thread :boxing:
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    (Original post by looking)
    Apparently, if you put your location as Newcastle on facebook, you get a 'like' button after every word
    This thread is going to suck if everyone just takes one of todays top jokes from sickipedia and posts it here.
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    Did you hear that the new chauffer for Prince Williams wedding will be a Chilian miner

    Because you know he won't be going into any tunnels
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    (Original post by Potally_Tissed)
    This thread is going to suck if everyone just takes one of todays top jokes from sickipedia and posts it here.
    Hey, you can't hate a (unfunny) guy for trying.
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    lol

    Boy: "Do you want to play the fire engine game?"
    Girl: "How do you play that?"
    Boy: "My fingers are the fire engine and I drive up your legs. You say 'red light!' when you want me to stop."
    Girl: "Okay, lets play."
    After a few seconds...
    Girl: "Red light!"
    Boy: "Fire engines don't stop for red lights."
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    Couple of Jewish jokes:

    Why are Jewish men circumsized?
    No Jewish woman would touch anything unless it was 20% off.

    What does a Jewish woman make for dinner?
    A reservation.

    Mr Green has been ill and Mrs Green goes to see the doctor to find out what the problem is.
    Mr.Green sits in the waiting room while Mrs.Green speaks privately with the doctor.
    "Your husband has a very rare disease that can only be cured by one thing" says the doctor.
    "What's the cure?" asks Mrs.Green, "I'll do anything for my Hymie"
    "Oral sex" says the doctor
    Mrs.Green leaves the office and Mr.Green is eager to find out what she has learned about his illness.
    "You're going to die Hymie" she answers.
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    two muffins in an oven
    one muffin said to the other: "boy, it's hot in here!"
    the other muffin goes "AHHHHH! A TALKIN' MUFFIN!"

    cracks me up
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    Mrs.Cohen calls the doctor's office to find out the results of her husband's tests.
    The receptionist says, "we have two Mr.Cohens registered at this practice, both are called David and both have recently had tests done. I see here that one has AIDS and the other has Alzheimers"
    Mrs.Cohen is perplexed. "Which is my David"? she asks.
    "Best thing to do" recommends the receptionist "is to send your husband out for a loaf of bread. If he finds his way home, DON'T f*** him"
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    I hate it when I hear someone joke about the Holocaust. It's just so wrong.

    Anne Frankly, I won't stand for it.
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    (Original post by Jacobdatz)
    Did you hear that the new chauffer for Prince Williams wedding will be a Chilian miner

    Because you know he won't be going into any tunnels
    Cheer up Prince Charles! They only vandalised your car with a bit of white paint.

    It's not like they deliberately chased your car into a tunnel during the night and murdered you.
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    Global warming is a myth.

    Just like the holocaust and women's rights.
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    what did one tampon say to the other

    nothing because they're both stuck up *$%ts
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    Heath Ledger was a terrible batman.
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    What did the egg say to the boiling water?

    "It might take me a while to get hard; I only just got laid."
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    A Greek and an Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, 'Well, we built the Parthenon.' Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, 'We built the Coliseum.' The Greek retorts, 'We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.' The Italian, nodding agreement, says, 'But we built the Roman Empire.' And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, 'We invented sex!' The Italian replies, 'That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women.'
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    Must have a few Frankie Boyle quotes:
    'How many dead whores can you fit in a garage? About two more, if I move my bike.'
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    (Original post by Potally_Tissed)
    This thread is going to suck if everyone just takes one of todays top jokes from sickipedia and posts it here.
    I totally agree, carrying on with the thread topic...

    Benign……………………
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