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Blargh. Maybe its just me, but I find there are some girls I'll take to the cinema n im just really trying hard to think what Im gunna say next..its BORING. N ya end up with something like "soo...err....wat sports dya play at school?" ya kno wat I mean? But there are some girls ... a couple of exes and my "mate" girls, that i just get on with sooo well, and the conversation is always just fun pisstake outta each other, laughing at others, ahh bliss. But I wish it would happen with every date. Maybe its because on the first date your forced to be with them...and going out in a group would be better. But Im paranoid they'll just fall in love with one of my mates if this happens. Advice needed

Reply 1

sophieliz

12

hmmm....in a relationship, personallity and conversation should be the most important thing. It is a bit awkward dating someone you hardly know so, I would advise inviting a girl to go out on a group date..."fall in love with your mate"-don't be so insecure!!
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ps...if that is you in your pic then you are cute ; )

Reply 2

minakocat

I know exactly what you mean... sometimes when you are on your first date it can be really awkward trying to get to know each other. I would honestly suggest either going somewhere that is really relaxed and fun atmosphere so there isn't so much pressure. Especially because if you go see a movie it's harder to talk.

But going on a group date really isnt a bad idea either. I wouldn't worry about your guy friends going after her, especially if you tell them before hand that you like this girl. And by having your friends there you are more likely to loosen up and just act yourself. Cause that's what you want the girl to see. And i would definitely try to not just go out with her, but to be her friend too. Cause there isn't anything better when the person your going out with is your best friend too. :smile:

Reply 3

Tim Street

OP

lol tanx. I reckon im trying to hard to make it work...then getting frustrated. I'll try the group thing...but its just so hard to organise, like...if u were on ur own with a guy n all his mates wudnt u feel a bit insecure? I need to arrange it so that she's got her m8s as well... hmm *thinks*

Reply 4

awkward_eagle

1

Tim Kabel

Maybe its because on the first date your forced to be with them

Surely if you're on a date it's because you want to be- nobody's forcing you to be there... :confused:

Reply 5

scutt

1

Cinemas are BAD places for first/early dates. You can't talk in them. Go out, play some mini-golf or something, because ba-dum, if you're crap.. there's something for playful ribbing. Ask what they do in their spare time, what music they like, films. Avoid hot-spots like religion/politics (unless they bring it up), because it's heavy stuff for first meetings.

Good luck. :smile:

Reply 6

Tim Street

OP

awkward_eagle

Surely if you're on a date it's because you want to be- nobody's forcing you to be there... :confused:

You're on the date to see if things might develop between you two. If its just the two of you, and you don't really know them, its awkward.

Reply 7

Happy1

14

Tim Kabel

You're on the date to see if things might develop between you two. If its just the two of you, and you don't really know them, its awkward.

Hmm... i still think tha group thing might give the wrong idea. You dont want her to think you're not keen or need to bring your mates for moral support. Have you thought about doing something differnt for a date? I'd suggest bowling or ice skating... you HAVE to talk!

Reply 8

OneEightSeven

1

Or even just grab a cup of coffee or lunch... if the conversation isn't working, then neither of you need to hang around for like 3-4 hours in awkward silence. My 2 cents.

That mini-golf idea is classic.

Reply 9

Tim Street

OP

lol - " hey babe where dya wana go then? cinema? meal? " "no lets play golf"
im sory but no. next? im gunna go for the group thing. But sometimes if things occur naturally its best... i mean like, don't ya love it when a "girl" friend brings one of their friends along so they know people in the group and so do you and its perfect. I feel strange today :s-smilie:

Reply 10

material breach

12

Tim Kabel

lol - " hey babe where dya wana go then? cinema? meal? " "no lets play golf"
im sory but no. next? im gunna go for the group thing. But sometimes if things occur naturally its best... i mean like, don't ya love it when a "girl" friend brings one of their friends along so they know people in the group and so do you and its perfect. I feel strange today :s-smilie:

I think you need to be a little more confident about the whole affair, if she goes on a date with you where ever its cos she wants to be there... dont feel pressured to impress her.

Reply 11

yo-less

2

Tim Kabel

Blargh. Maybe its just me, but I find there are some girls I'll take to the cinema n im just really trying hard to think what Im gunna say next..its BORING. N ya end up with something like "soo...err....wat sports dya play at school?" ya kno wat I mean? But there are some girls ... a couple of exes and my "mate" girls, that i just get on with sooo well, and the conversation is always just fun pisstake outta each other, laughing at others, ahh bliss. But I wish it would happen with every date. Maybe its because on the first date your forced to be with them...and going out in a group would be better. But Im paranoid they'll just fall in love with one of my mates if this happens. Advice needed

i'm in sort of the same position and i asked the guy the very same thing^o)

Reply 12

The Mudman

10

Its true of everyone though. With some people, conversations just flow so easily, and with others, its just one long awkward silence after another. On dates its worse cos of the anxiety... What I do is have a couple of random facts to throw in if the conversation comes to a juddering halt (although this is coming from a single guy hmmm...) Nothing like 'Pigs have half hour long orgasms' (although I know a worrying amount of information about that lol) but something thats gunna spark a reaction. Like 'The most shoplifted book in america is the Bible' or 'If you say the word colourful, it looks like youre saying I love you' (maybe one for a few dates in :biggrin: