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No friends. No life. Very lonely. Watch

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    This is going to sound like one of those same old moany threads but I really don't know what to do

    I'm in my first year of uni and I have no friends here. I don't even really have friends at home (they are at uni elsewhere with their new friends). All I have is my boyfriend and his friends, who still aren't really my friends (well, they would consider me just 'his girlfriend who's at our house every now and again' not like a real part of their friendship group). Thing is they all live about 100 miles away.

    I'm just so lonely. I tried joining societies and stuff to make friends, and I have met lovely people, but they're all in their own little friendship groups and don't even consider me anything more than someone they see once a week and chat to. I guess I don't seem like a very shy or quiet person, so maybe they assume I have friends?

    I live off campus and my housemates are not my kind of people at all.

    I just don't know what to do. I'm fairly good at being alone and don't mind my own company, but its just the little things. I was really excited to see the new Harry Potter film, but had no one to go with so I haven't been (haven't plucked up the courage to go on my own yet). I dread the weekends because they're just a big gap of time when I don't even have uni to keep me occupied.

    I don't know how to make a good little group of friends, I just don't know how to get 'into' a group. Seriously how do people do it? Is it just that I'm such a loser than no one wants me?

    I feel so lonely. I just want to have a person who might text me and ask me if I want to go to the pub with them, or go to town, or even just watch a film or something, but no one cares about me and I feel so horribly lonely.
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    where are u at uni?
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EQ6eHeBrhM
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    Everyone in this part of the forum is so roneryy! What's wrong with the housemates?
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    (Original post by asdfg0987)
    Everyone in this part of the forum is so roneryy! What's wrong with the housemates?
    They're all a lot older than me, have their own friends, like to sit around smoking weed or downing jugs of vodka. No thanks.
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    Same.

    Try and get a job or something, it gives you something to do so you don't have to think about it.
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    I went to watch Harry Potter alone. :cry2:

    and It was damn good! :awesome:
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    (Original post by OceanInTheSky)
    Same.

    Try and get a job or something, it gives you something to do so you don't have to think about it.
    There are no jobs around here, if there were they'd be weekends, which would mean I would never be able to see my boyfriend, who is basically the only actual friend I have
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    hmmm..... when did you start university?
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    (Original post by Noodles1995)
    hmmm..... when did you start university?
    This September.
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    You have one person at least. So many people have nobody. Imagine how single people in your position feel.

    It sounds like you want someone to talk to you but you aren't willing to make the effort with anyone ?

    Did you ask anyone to go to see Harry Potter ?

    Do you ever text anyone asking them to go to the pub ?

    Relationships require work on both parts.
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    First of all, not a moany thread :]

    I should start off by owning up and saying I don't have many friends. No-one would call me their "best friend", but I suppose a few good ones are better than nothing!

    I tried the whole societies/socials thing. Not for me. Maybe you could try looking outside of uni? Other kinds of groups or hobbies, sports, activities, whatever :] do you have anything specific that you do in your free time that you could share with other people?

    Also, I think you need to change your mindset on the "groups" of friends thing... For example, my girlfriend is far more sociable than me and she usually only sees her friends individually, spending a bit of time with each of them. You don't have to be with a group to be friends with someone :] Like you said with the HP thing, bringing along someone who you might not know so well but who likes HP too might cause you to start seeing this person more often, say, even just going to the cinema once a week, and there you are, you have a ''cinema'' friend :] you might even start seeing them on non-cinema outings!

    Other than that? I dunno... Maybe get your bf to visit more often :] I see my gf every other wkend during term time, and that's enough for us!

    Anyways, hope this helped :]

    Ciao!x
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    I dunno, I have no idea how girl friendship groups get formed.

    Only piece of advice I can give you is that you're certainly not the only person in your position, so chat to more people and ask them if they want to do something - eventually you'll find someone who seems keen and voila you have a friend.
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    (Original post by TheFlyingDutchman)
    You have one person at least. So many people have nobody. Imagine how single people in your position feel.

    It sounds like you want someone to talk to you but you aren't willing to make the effort with anyone ?

    Did you ask anyone to go to see Harry Potter ?

    Do you ever text anyone asking them to go to the pub ?

    Relationships require work on both parts.
    I don't have anyones numbers to ask, I don't have any people who I'm on a level with that I'd feel comfortable asking them that. As I said, these people all wander round with their big group of friends, it'd be completely weird if I just came up to one of them and was like 'HEY WANT TO GO TO THE CINEMA WITH ME?!?' Surely that'd just be a way to LOSE possible friends.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is going to sound like one of those same old moany threads but I really don't know what to do

    I'm in my first year of uni and I have no friends here. I don't even really have friends at home (they are at uni elsewhere with their new friends). All I have is my boyfriend and his friends, who still aren't really my friends (well, they would consider me just 'his girlfriend who's at our house every now and again' not like a real part of their friendship group). Thing is they all live about 100 miles away.

    I'm just so lonely. I tried joining societies and stuff to make friends, and I have met lovely people, but they're all in their own little friendship groups and don't even consider me anything more than someone they see once a week and chat to. I guess I don't seem like a very shy or quiet person, so maybe they assume I have friends?

    I live off campus and my housemates are not my kind of people at all.

    I just don't know what to do. I'm fairly good at being alone and don't mind my own company, but its just the little things. I was really excited to see the new Harry Potter film, but had no one to go with so I haven't been (haven't plucked up the courage to go on my own yet). I dread the weekends because they're just a big gap of time when I don't even have uni to keep me occupied.

    I don't know how to make a good little group of friends, I just don't know how to get 'into' a group. Seriously how do people do it? Is it just that I'm such a loser than no one wants me?

    I feel so lonely. I just want to have a person who might text me and ask me if I want to go to the pub with them, or go to town, or even just watch a film or something, but no one cares about me and I feel so horribly lonely.
    Play world of warcraft
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This September.
    Oh well you just need some time getting used to thats all, you just need to start talking to people on your course and BE YOURSELF!
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    100% snap!

    As you say...its all the small things which piss my off,

    Take of example, few weeks ago I suggested to flatmates that we should have a big/awesome christmas party feast and go out...they just shruged/ignored the idea and continued with there oh so interesting "gossip" lives...

    Yesturday...saw one housemate setting up some food in the kitchen ,so I asked what the special occasion was,
    she used the excuse that she was cooking for her parenst for when they arrive to pick her up...

    Only to find out that they held a flatmate secret santa event, then a big christmas party/feast..leaving me uninvited sitting in my own room which is directly next to the kitchen this was occuring in...(couldnt walk in as everytime they hold a mini kitchen rave I just get given an un-welcoming "GTFO of this room" glance).

    And now this one person who I thought I befriended well, is now completely cutting me off from him,
    blagging about how awesome/crazy his nights have been with this other group not even blinking at the thought for inviting me after all the suggestions I've said to him,

    especially after all the nights where I've had to stop my clubbing nights with a society, we both happened to join, as he wouldnt have the correct dress code which was clearly stated in advance...

    Uni is supposed to be the "the best time of your life" I've not seen a glimpse of enjoyment yet...its bloody depressing =/
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    do sport - that's a good way of feeling better about yourself AND making new friends don't give up!

    is this your first time at university or were you at a different one before?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't have anyones numbers to ask, I don't have any people who I'm on a level with that I'd feel comfortable asking them that. As I said, these people all wander round with their big group of friends, it'd be completely weird if I just came up to one of them and was like 'HEY WANT TO GO TO THE CINEMA WITH ME?!?' Surely that'd just be a way to LOSE possible friends.
    Do you assume that people in groups only want to hang around with people in that group ?

    You have to take advantage of situations when they are presented to you.

    You have to find something to build on. Something you have in common that nobody else really does.

    Find excuses to get numbers as well ? I first got my gfs number in economics class when I was ''having trouble'' with some of the work. I said she seemed really comfortable with it and would it be ok if I texted her if I needed help. I texted her once asking for help on the last question then just built it up. A week of texting later she mentioned that she really wanted to go to this art gallery but her friends aren't the type. I think you can guess how the rest goes.

    The point I'm making is being a sociable person isn't hard. You'd be surprised what little opportunities can turn in to if you handle them right.

    'Opportunities multiply as they are seized'' Sun Tzu
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    (Original post by TheFlyingDutchman)
    Do you assume that people in groups only want to hang around with people in that group ?

    You have to take advantage of situations when they are presented to you.

    You have to find something to build on. Something you have in common that nobody else really does.

    Find excuses to get numbers as well ? I first got my gfs number in economics class when I was ''having trouble'' with some of the work. I said she seemed really comfortable with it and would it be ok if I texted her if I needed help. I texted her once asking for help on the last question then just built it up. A week of texting later she mentioned that she really wanted to go to this art gallery but her friends aren't the type. I think you can guess how the rest goes.

    The point I'm making is being a sociable person isn't hard. You'd be surprised what little opportunities can turn in to if you handle them right.

    'Opportunities multiply as they are seized'' Sun Tzu
    Perhaps its just that I've never had this problem before. I'm not an unsociable person in anyway its just that I'm insecure about starting talking to people like that because I think they'll just assume I'm a weirdo and that'd be even worse than having no friends.

    I just don't know how these situations are ever 'presented' to me. As far as I can see I haven't had any opportunities to improve on relationships with people. It seems like they all slipped into some big Freshers week group and I just wasn't a part of.
 
 
 
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