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A question, well, for girls but guys can do whatever :P Watch

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    #1

    How do you reassure your girlfriend that youre not cheating on her or that you dont plan on leaving her for another girl despite the fact that you are always open to her about what you do and you meet with her quite regularly?

    And in this situation, she has 2 guys who like her and one of them took her out, the other buys her stuff and calls her like everyday etc.. but shes says well they are just friends and I dont like them (remember they actually like her..)
    Whereas I have no one who is interested in me, and im not interested in anymore..yet she feels I will cheat on her? I mean what the hell? When I say this to her, she says..its irrelevant ..how can I get it through to her that shes being stupid?

    Why do girls think like this anyways? I dont get the need of creating a problem and then when the guy essentially says..what are you doing, you response by saying "oh its always my fault" when actually it is because you've created a problem out of nothing. Maybe it doesnt apply to all girls, but the majority ive seen are like this.

    Also how do you explain to your girlfriend, that there is nothing wrong in going to meet some friends and then meet her after..? (she feels used.. wtf?)
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    Sounds like shes playing games with you - having her cake and eating it too, so to speak. She's happy for these other guys to faun arround her, as well as having all your attention, but she's insecure about your potential to do the same.
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    i was once told that a person who has cheated is far worried about thier partner cheating than someone who hasnt - make of it what you will
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    Annon or delete.

    Mate I had a gf EXACTLY like this. We were together for months and that kept going on, it got to the point where she was jealous that one of my friends (a girl) was spending time with me, or that I speak to girls online (mostly my best friend's gf) and she kept thinking something was going on.

    On the flip side, she CONSTANTLY hung around and spoke to her ex's and guys that clearly liked her.

    Had to dump her. I suggest you do the same man, it only gets worse, I'm sorry to say.
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    If there isn't mutual trust in the relationship, it won't work.
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    She might be really insecure..maybe an ex cheated, I dunno.
    It's a bit much though, talk to her about it making you uncomfortable.
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    (Original post by nicatre)
    If there isn't mutual trust in the relationship, it won't work.
    So true. OP, it's not worth it.
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    Yeah, bro, I agree with the above posters.
    If she's so insecure, but wont take your assurance that you have done nothing wrong, then its proably best to leave her...
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    (Original post by MickJB1989)
    Sounds like shes playing games with you - having her cake and eating it too, so to speak. She's happy for these other guys to faun arround her, as well as having all your attention, but she's insecure about your potential to do the same.
    Aye, exactly..the thing is, she wants to break up with me because of this. She says she cant do it anymore, she cant help feeling like im going to cheat on her (despite our circumstances) and with the meeting up with friends..she was furious and said that I dont listen to her that I keep hurting her..and im thinking, wtf?..I dont honestly see whats wrong in meeting up with friends and then meeting her after (shes more so, either you see me 100% or you see your friends 100%, if not then I feel like youre using me..?)

    (Original post by Wilzyy)
    She might be really insecure..maybe an ex cheated, I dunno.
    It's a bit much though, talk to her about it making you uncomfortable.
    She knows its making me uncomfortable. Ive talked to her about it already to try and get her to see that shes being crazy, but every time she just says well its always my fault isnt it and then she gets angry etc and says, see look you obviously are hurt all the time by me so I think you should break up with me. Notice, she'll never do it herself but she wants me to do it..despite this she'll still say..I love you, I care for you, I dont want to lose you..but shes encouraging me to break up with her..I mean wtf?..can a girl explain this to me?

    (Original post by nicatre)
    If there isn't mutual trust in the relationship, it won't work.

    Absolutely agree, I thought there was mutual trust. So much so that I didnt care so much when she went out with a guy who we both know likes her because I trusted her so much that it didnt matter.
    Yet, she gets quirky when I say to her that..oh im going out with some guys and then to a party. She thinks ill cheat on her Or when she sees a picture of me on Facebook with another girl. Lets say just I dunno any picture (no ones touching each other) just like both of us standing for a picture and the girl has a boyfriend. She gets jealous, I mean I want to get through to her that shes being really ridiculous..but I dont know how to without her latching onto the "oh its always my fault" line and then running with that..

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Annon or delete.

    Mate I had a gf EXACTLY like this. We were together for months and that kept going on, it got to the point where she was jealous that one of my friends (a girl) was spending time with me, or that I speak to girls online (mostly my best friend's gf) and she kept thinking something was going on.

    On the flip side, she CONSTANTLY hung around and spoke to her ex's and guys that clearly liked her.

    Had to dump her. I suggest you do the same man, it only gets worse, I'm sorry to say.
    Shhiieett man ..with me, I dont even spend lots of time with a particular female ..this started because I had a guys night out

    Well like ive already said, shes the one who wants to dump me..for this reason. Even though nothing is happening. It sucks cus' I really dont want to break up with her..but I mean, arghh! Girls I dont get them.
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    (Original post by DH-Biker)
    Yeah, bro, I agree with the above posters.
    If she's so insecure, but wont take your assurance that you have done nothing wrong, then its proably best to leave her...
    Is there another way for me to show her that she doesnt need to be worried that when I go out with friends im not going to cheat on her?..
    Also is it possible that a girl loves you and cares for you but still thinks this knowing that im not doing anything wrong?
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    Mate with all due respect. She is taking the piss out of you. Tell her it stops or you will break up with her.
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    (Original post by Huskaris)
    Mate with all due respect. She is taking the piss out of you. Tell her it stops or you will break up with her.
    Right, but before that how can I get her to stop thinking that im gonna leave her or cheat on her or something?
    Im not going to cut my life to appease her insecurity..i want her to stop thinking that everytime im not with her im not with another girl
    And that theres nothing wrong in seeing friends and then seeing her after...

    P.S. Ive done absolutely nothing to suggest otherwise
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    (Original post by Huskaris)
    Mate with all due respect. She is taking the piss out of you. Tell her it stops or you will break up with her.
    This. That's a complete pisstake, you should throw down an ultimatum like this and she'll most likely stop buggin you abt it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How do you reassure your girlfriend that youre not cheating on her or that you dont plan on leaving her for another girl despite the fact that you are always open to her about what you do and you meet with her quite regularly?
    I'd have a serious word and say that it has to stop before the relationship is ruined. When she thinks about it, she will realise that things will get worse if she doesn't nip it in the bud.

    She could individually, or with you, see a realtionship counsellor. Relate is a charity that offers a free service to those who have little personal wealth.

    Do your best to reassure her but don't give any ground in terms of your freedom. It sounds incredibly trite but you could write her a letter which states how you feel about her and your commitment to the relationship. She can then read over this to reassure herself when you're out with the lads etc. If she still doubts you, you can also ask her whether she actually trusts you after you laid your feelings down like that.

    At the end of the day, you've got to be free to be yourself in a relationship and she has too. Living your life as your partner wants you to can last for a while, but long-term there's no hope.
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    She's clearly a total attention whore, is sucking the **** of at least one of the guys who fancy her (at least one) and therefore needs to make it look like you're doing wrong so she can break up with you without feeling like the filthy, disease-ridden streetwalker she so clearly is.

    Harsh, but fair.
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    To be honest, I think she's playing you. There is no trust in this relationship. Perhaps she isn't cheating on you, but you should make it clear that the attention these guys are giving her makes you uncomfortable and see how she responds.

    (Original post by TShadow383)
    She's clearly a total attention whore, is sucking the **** of at least one of the guys who fancy her (at least one) and therefore needs to make it look like you're doing wrong so she can break up with you without feeling like the filthy, disease-ridden streetwalker she so clearly is.

    Harsh, but fair.
    I actually sort of agree with this. The last part, anyway.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How do you reassure your girlfriend that youre not cheating on her or that you dont plan on leaving her for another girl despite the fact that you are always open to her about what you do and you meet with her quite regularly?

    And in this situation, she has 2 guys who like her and one of them took her out, the other buys her stuff and calls her like everyday etc.. but shes says well they are just friends and I dont like them (remember they actually like her..)
    Whereas I have no one who is interested in me, and im not interested in anymore..yet she feels I will cheat on her? I mean what the hell? When I say this to her, she says..its irrelevant ..how can I get it through to her that shes being stupid?

    Why do girls think like this anyways? I dont get the need of creating a problem and then when the guy essentially says..what are you doing, you response by saying "oh its always my fault" when actually it is because you've created a problem out of nothing. Maybe it doesnt apply to all girls, but the majority ive seen are like this.

    Also how do you explain to your girlfriend, that there is nothing wrong in going to meet some friends and then meet her after..? (she feels used.. wtf?)
    the answer here is simple.

    tell her there are 2 girls that like you and as she seems to think its okie to go out with those guys she wont have a problem. if she says anything just say, " its irrelevant"

    if she has a fear of you cheating, tell her she sees guys all the time and expects you to trust her in the same situation. you cant be in a trustless relationship anyway. jermy kyle, eat your heart out.

    good luck.
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    I'm not going to speculate on her reasons, but she simply cannot handle your being with female friends, at all, and wants to dominate your attention.
    Tell her straight that you will not stop seeing your friends just because she tells you to, and she needs to deal with it. Tbh it is worth pointing out that it's unfair for her to be "allowed" to be friends with guys, if you are not allowed to be friends with girls. That is too one sided. She has double standards, one rule for her, another for you. That's never good.
    If she can't trust you, you either need some kind of counselling or to break up, because otherwise your relationship will be nothing but drama.
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    maybe sit down and have a chat with her cos she needs to trust you for your relationship to work!
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    Your girlfriend sounds craaaaaaazy.
    Has she been cheated on before? Does she have daddy issues?
    I think she needs counselling or something, because she's really not acting rationally.
 
 
 
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