My problem is a little complicated, and i need all the advice i can get.
So here's the deal.
One of my best friends X had this relationship on with this friend of mine Y, with whom I was never really very close. However, Y's parents dont like the thought of X and Y being together which is why Y was forced to break it off. Incidentally, me and Y ended up in the UK, together for our higher education in London unis and have become very close since this fall.
Now the deal is, X and Y still talk a lot over the internet, but are not officially couple. Then again, they are not completely over one another. One thing is for sure, X and Y know that there is no future for them, they are just 'friends' for now. Now form what i know X still likes Y, and after spending virtually all my time in London with Y, I kind of like her too. And I also know that going into a long term relationship with her would be perfect for both of us since we are already good friends and she admits her parents wouldnt mind me being with her.
But I cannot do anything about it simply as it would completely destroy X and I cannot see that happening to him. He wont say no to it, but he will be devastated. His A Levels did not go very well, he is still looking for a uni, and he is trying to hold on to Y. The last thing he needs is this big shocker from me, a friend he trusts with Y in London. I know this because the same thing happened to me (one of my best friends decided to go after the girl i liked and literally deceived me into believing he didnt like her, and now i hate him for ever).
So what should I do?
Should I distance myself from Y allow my feelings to subside, or should i do what feels right for now and see where my friendship with Y leads us to over time? Because, I think I could have something amazing with her, and I really need to be with someone. Maybe he will understand later that 3 years is a long time? The last thing I want to do is tell him.
Fond of best friend's ex Watch
- Thread Starter
- 17-12-2010 18:52
- 17-12-2010 18:55
All is fair in love and war... *Sighs*
Do whatever you want. If you allow yourself to be swayed by what other people tell you in relation to your feelings, you won't make the right choice because you have to listen to your feelings, not trolls
- 17-12-2010 18:58
There's an unwritten rule that you don't go out with your mates' exs.
However, in this case, seen as you two are very close and spend a lot of time together, and seen as they are still mates, I'd say go ahead.
(Original post by Anonymous)
- 17-12-2010 21:01
I know this because the same thing happened to me (one of my best friends decided to go after the girl i liked and literally deceived me into believing he didnt like her, and now i hate him for ever).
Is this acceptable at all or friendship breaking behaviour? I dont know how to act with them both as B is not happy with A..
Any one else have an opinion on this?
- 17-12-2010 21:20
Do what makes you happy! Friends come and go, especially if, from what I gather, you are an international student and are planning on staying in London long term. What if this girl would make you happy? Is it worth not being happy and feeling helpless in that you can't express your feelings for the girl for the sake of your friend who I assume is abroad?
Food for thought.