Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Taking for granted, or settling? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I am really worried about my relationship.
    Sometimes, it feels so right and as though I love my boyfriend so much. I could look at him and just smile that I am so lucky.
    Other times, I worry that we are not suited, that we don't have enough in common, that our long term prospects are shakey... BUT, we are in an LDR and perhaps that is confusing me - or making me too thoughtful about the whole thing.

    Has anyone experienced this? It is my first relationship and we have been together for 2 years. I don't want to take for granted something really special*, but I don't want to settle. And I don't know which it is because I lack the experience.
    *and we are great in many ways, sometimes we have fantastic moments, this is when I feel I love him like crazy - which is impressive after 2 years I think.


    What really prompted this thread:

    A cute guy on my course at uni recently asked me if we had met/my name etc out of the blue after about 30s of jokey/friendly convo (never spoken to him before). He wants to get to know me, and I will see him around again. Of course I'm not going to do anything, it's not even him in particular, the whole situation just made me think "what if" I wasn't in a relationship? What am I missing out on?

    Don't people only start to think like that when there is something very wrong with their relationship? Or is it normal if you are inexperienced? Is it normal to go through a phase like this in a long-standing relationship?


    I hope that things will get clearer over xmas when me+bf are together a lot. I am a worryguts generally speaking; I really wish I had a friend to give me advice but I like to keep things to myself. As far as my friends are concerned lol I don't really have feelings or a personal life and I'm happy with that arrangement.

    Be my friend TSR and gimme some relationship advice, especially if you have experienced what I am talking about.
    Maybe we just need to rekindle some of the chemistry we had when we first started.



    TLDR:
    Hot and cold with boyfriend, encounter with guy that would have strong potential if I were single has raised doubts that I am truly as happy as I could be, first relationship, 2 years, LDR, is it normal? Need other TSR members to act as my surrogate girlfriends because I don't have anyone to give me advice.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    the thread title is Taking for granted, or settling suggests you have already made up your mind
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by specialk_698)
    the thread title is Taking for granted, or settling suggests you have already made up your mind
    No no, it's like this:

    - Am I settling in this relationship..?

    OR

    - Am I not appreciating how good our relationship actually is..?

    .. Because I have no comparison (no other relationships)


    Presumably you can't expect to be ecstatic all the time in a relationship - that would be an unrealistic fantasy, but if you have no comparison (like me) how do you know how happy you should/could be?

    I just want to know if it is a normal low, or if my doubts are a serious worrying sign?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I think it's just this LDR predicament couples face when one or both go to different Unis.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 18, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.