My boyfriend's 23, and have been with him for 9 months.
2 years ago he was in paris for a few months and had a holiday fling with a french model. She got pregnant, and now they have a baby together. She was really upset because it's ruined her career so he promised he would support her.
She moved to london and he bought a house for her and the baby, he wanted a relationship but she said only if he marries her because she's already upset about having a baby without marriage. He wasn't ready for that so they decided on no relationship.
When I met him he had lost all his confidence because he felt like he comes with a lot of baggage but we fell in love and I admired that he's one of those guys who sticks with his responsibilities and helps her out. He did tell me everything but never that she was a model or that they're REALLY close.
I met her and his baby at a dinner with his family a few months ago and she is absolutely STUNNING!!! Probably the best looking woman I have ever seen, you would think she is some international supermodel by the way she looks and dresses.
I'm ashamed to say this made me feel very insecure and just not good enough. I'm average, just a normal girl, compared to her I'm ugly. I have constantly felt not good enough for him if he has been with a girl like her, she's so fashionable, sophisticated and his family adores her
He reassured me he loves me and he has been the best boyfriend ever but what adds to this problem is they are incredibly close. He insists it's because they want to have a good balanced upbringing for their baby and not have a life of separated parents but they are too close and it makes me uncomfortable.
He goes to her house every day, to see his son but whenever I've seen them together they are so touchy and stuff She greets him with kisses on the cheek and he hugs her and holds her from the hips. He also spends a lot on her and treating her, but his reasons are that she doesn't have the luxury to go out and date because a baby can be a burden so the least he can do is treat her once in a while.
They also go out on family picnics together to spend time with the baby and build memories whatever but it REALLY upsets me, totally breaks my heart seeing him with her like that. He's not hiding anything and she knows I'm his girlfriend and is very nice to me but this just doesn't seem normal to me. They literally are like husband and wife around each other and in her house she has family portraits of the three of them together.
This is just too much to bear for me and its breaking my heart, just that she even touches him. It would have been uncomfortable enough if the most stunning french model is around your boyfriend, let alone one who is giving him a peck on the cheek who he already has a history with!
I love him so much and I want to be with him, he does too but I don't know what to do about this. He makes me the happiest and we haven't had a single problem in our relationship but his relationship with her kills me.
I just need a bit of perspective on this, am I being unreasonable and would you be okay with it? Would it be wrong of me to ask him to keep a bit of distance from her? This is so hard but something needs to be done.
All advice would be much appreciated x
Boyfriend's ex (and his baby) Watch
- Thread Starter
- 18-12-2010 18:47
- 18-12-2010 18:49
- 18-12-2010 18:54
Well you've just got to adapt to it or leave. It's his baby and his baby momma lol - he's ALWAYS going to have ties with her, and could possibly get back together as they already have a foundation :/...so unless you're prepared to be the thirdwheel then maybe just be friends?
- 18-12-2010 18:54
I call troll.
Its the mother of your boyfriends son. If you can't handle that they ARE connected and will be THE REST OF THEIR LIVES, then you shouldn't be with him. Keeping distance from her is the same as keeping his distance from his son.
- 18-12-2010 18:55
I wouldn't be happy if I were you and I don't think you'd be being unreasonable by telling him how you feel about it all. It's a hard situation coz he has to think about his child, but there's no need for him to be unnecessarily close to her.