I could kinda do with some advice. I'm not totally sure if i'm overreacting here, or if i'm in the wrong or what, but i really could do with some completely impartial advice or thoughts on the topic.
Basically I've had this friend i've known for roughly a couple of years, everything has been great and over this time we've become very good friends. I feel there is a flame of romance here and that my friend may well like me in 'that' way (well pretty sure they do, but anyway) but i've been very wrong on these matters before so don't really want to speculate but thats not the real issue here (or i don't think it is :-s)
Over the past couple of months my friend has had a tough time with friends, family and health. Over this period i've always been there for my friend, and sacrificed a hell of alot for them (admittedly alot of this they don't know as i don't particularly want to tell them this because you just dont) but i've put a lot at stake and missed opportunities to make sure they were ok and just to ensure things work for them. Yet increasingly over the past couple of weeks i feel that i'm being taken advantage of and just generally not being treated how i deserve. I know in friendships sometimes people go thru a tough spell and take it out on friends and its not personal. But more and more often i feel like i'm taking the brunt of their anger at other people, getting shouted out for really small things and for trying to be positive. I also feel like i'm now getting anger towards me because sometimes i have things to do of my own and can't spend 24 hours a day with them. I would love to be able to, but i feel sometimes like i'm being victimised for having other things in my life i need to do
Any advice would be appreciated. This is someone who is incredibly important to me, and a friendship i don't want to lose or ruin, but at the moment all this stuff is really starting to upset and get to me
Is my friend using me or am i just paranoid/selfish? Watch
- Thread Starter
- 18-12-2010 23:21
- 18-12-2010 23:56
You have to look after yourself a little bit, to look after others a little bit. This is something many people forget when they are in similar situations themselves.
- 19-12-2010 00:07
it sounds like you are not being used, ur friend just goes through a tough period and that is why overreacts things, that is how it sounds to me. Then again it would be great to know more details and see it personally(which is impossible) and also to know the person himself.You have to know someone well to really understand his reactions.It is hard to answer this question after reading a few lines.I htink though that deep down u know what the real answer is. Dont let your feelings to influence you,try to see the situation as clearly as you can.this is what i would do..
- 19-12-2010 00:19
"I also feel like i'm now getting anger towards me because sometimes i have things to do of my own and can't spend 24 hours a day with them. I would love to be able to, but i feel sometimes like i'm being victimised for having other things in my life i need to do" : Sounds like if selfishness would be a person, it would be someone to whom you dont even say hi too. That could be a problem too in a way,if you know what do i mean.