Yesterday, I went to the pub for a meal with some buddies, and there were some mega fit girls in there. One kept walking to the bar and back to her table, fetching drinks for her party, and each time she walked past our table she sort of caught my eye. I said to myself that the next time she goes past, I'll make some sort of sign that I'm attracted to her.
So, she walked back to from the bar past me carrying a couple of lagers, and I climbed atop the table, kneelt down on it, ripped off my top and rubbed my nipples with a couple of ice cubes from my glass. When she saw me, she looked a little horrified, and I knew I had to do something mad to snatch sex from the jaws of rejection, so I slathered some of my chicken korma on my torso and groaned loudly at her, whilst winking suggestively and gesturing towards my crotch. To my surprise, she legged it out of the pub and down the road, and a member of staff escorted me from the premises.
Clearly I'm doing something wrong, so can anyone suggest how I can improve my technique? And please be gentle with me, because I'm still reeling from last night *sob sob sob*. THANKS TSR
Claims damages because he didn't get a first