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Setting Myself Up For Disappointment (Long) Watch

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    Firstly I am putting this in health and relationships section
    Because I believe this is all to do with my relationships with people
    And how I view the way they view me (confusing)
    But here we go

    I recently started uni in september like many people
    And haven't really found myself to fit in properly
    Maybe this is just comparing to other people and stuff but
    hmm.. so many different angles to come at this from..

    Well basically I am a guy with long hair - past shoulders and everything
    I have been thinking of getting my hair cut - only to about ear level so it is still long in standards but more (people will hate me) emo style as I like that style

    I can however find no reason for wanting to get my haircut other then
    To have a change to make people notice me more
    Within my mind I seem to think that people will react drastrically to this change
    And thus change their attitudes and stuff to me
    Thus setting myself up for a disappointment because I know that wont happen

    I have tried to figure out why this is but only have come up with two different factors
    firstly yes I realise that this makes me sound like I have a high level of self importance and I'd be lying if I said I didn't but everyone does and usually I can keep it in control
    The second is that of physical relationships as since moving to uni I haven't had any of any signs off anyone of interest.
    This in itself has complications because before uni I started going out with a good friend and things got a bit more serious then we planned (she got infatuated and I started to fall for her) But this broke off. So for the past 3 months I haven't been actively looking for anything.
    I say she got infatuated because the way she acted was not that of love in my opinion. After we broke up and just before she seemed almost certain that I would forget her, go to uni in a different city and find a new girl within a week, proved her wrong but I was barraged by these claims for months and her begging me to come back. And to top it all in the world of hypocrisy I've come home for christmas to find out she has another boyfriend. So I think someone was projecting.
    I know this is a little off the topic but I need to get these things out of my head.

    I guess my uneasy at whether to change hairstyles is due to my thinking that a change of hairstyle must lead to a change of attitude to get anywhere in life (maybe cause there is a girl I wouldn't mind asking out etc even though she is the complete opposite of me - don't ask don't get I say) but I just don't know

    I guess I want to do something which will lead me back on the path to being happy - I know it might sound bad but I would like someone to make me feel good about myself that i'm not just this guy who sits in his flat doing work and being boring

    But I do do those things because I have a lot to do and im not always a people person. I don't mind crowds but on my terms not someone elses. Although I join in with almost everything people invite me too

    I apologise to whoever read this it is very long and tedious
    And I know I hate hearing of other peoples tedious problems
    And I also know I will force myself into this disappointment because I need to learn and the hard way is the only way I guess.

    Guess I'm just lonely and the last person who cared about me has moved on
    Thanks TSRians
    Sorry for wasting your time
 
 
 
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Updated: December 19, 2010
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