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How to break up with someone? Watch

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    #1

    Anon or delete please.

    22, 2.5 year relationship, girl is 24.

    Long story short I am asking the good people of TSR how I should end things with the girl that has been the focus of my entire world for the last few years (full on intertwined future plans, kids names everything). I came to hers for Christmas, knowing for a while I didn't feel the same, and since I've been here I've felt nothing really. I still care about her but I don't love her anymore: hugs feel like their with a stranger, kissing her just makes me feel awkward, I have no emotional investment in either.

    I know I'm a **** for doing this this close to Christmas (especially since she's suppose to be coming to my parents for the actual days) but I don't think I can stay with her any more. I feel so weird and like I'm stringing her on, which I don't want to do.

    I'm not expecting to be friends with her after this (she still loves me, which is killing me) but we have a few mutual friends so I'd eventually like to be able to be around her without her hating my guts.

    She is my first girlfriend so I've never had to do this before, how can I do it with the least amount of hurt?
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    "***** make me a sandwich, I got something to tell you..."
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    http://www.boreme.com/media/yr2006/b...rd-breakup.jpg

    That's the way to do it
    • #2
    #2

    Same boat, except I'm the girl.
    I'm staying with him for Christmas, which will be a horribly huge act, but better than breaking his heart before. Then I'll tell him that I feel nothing for him anymore as early into the New Year as I can.. then fingers crossed we can both move on.
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    (Original post by Josh398)
    "***** make me a sandwich, I got something to tell you..."
    Loooool

    Get it the kitchen where you belong so we can have a real chat...

    Dunno, kill her? Yeah it's a bit illegal, but at least you avoid the conversation?
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    Can you not do it after Christmas? In my opinion, it's far less cruel to 'string her on' for a couple of weeks than to dump her and leave her alone for Christmas and New Years.
    Just sit down with her and tell her how you're feeling and that you don't think it can work out.
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    Haha I have a photo of this that I took when I was in NY. Amused me FAR too much at the time!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete please.

    22, 2.5 year relationship, girl is 24.

    Long story short I am asking the good people of TSR how I should end things with the girl that has been the focus of my entire world for the last few years (full on intertwined future plans, kids names everything). I came to hers for Christmas, knowing for a while I didn't feel the same, and since I've been here I've felt nothing really. I still care about her but I don't love her anymore: hugs feel like their with a stranger, kissing her just makes me feel awkward, I have no emotional investment in either.

    I know I'm a **** for doing this this close to Christmas (especially since she's suppose to be coming to my parents for the actual days) but I don't think I can stay with her any more. I feel so weird and like I'm stringing her on, which I don't want to do.

    I'm not expecting to be friends with her after this (she still loves me, which is killing me) but we have a few mutual friends so I'd eventually like to be able to be around her without her hating my guts.

    She is my first girlfriend so I've never had to do this before, how can I do it with the least amount of hurt?
    This makes me feel so sad
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    Talk to her face to face and say what you feel. There's no good way to break up with someone, but if you do it politely with respect and honesty then she can't hold it against you. Any other way (phonecall, email, text, letter) is a total cop out.

    Do gauge how she's reacting to the conversation though. Some people prefer break ups short and sweet, others like lengthy explanations. So when it seems time to go, then end the conversation and leave her alone to deal with it.



    Oh, and DO NOT break up with her and then straight away suggest you stay friends. That's her decision to make, and she probably won't appreciate you calling the shots to such an extent. Just be there when she does decide she wants to stay friends.
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    The time tested method of shag and dump.Gotta get your money worth ya dig."Get out or calling I'm callin popo,***** oh before you go can you make me a sandwich do the dishes and flash us your tits, dunno when next I'll get action whore"
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Josh398)
    "***** make me a sandwich, I got something to tell you..."
    Super helpful thanks, can't believe someone repped you for that.
    If she'd been cheating I would have (not to the same scale obviously, I'm skint).
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Same boat, except I'm the girl.
    I'm staying with him for Christmas, which will be a horribly huge act, but better than breaking his heart before. Then I'll tell him that I feel nothing for him anymore as early into the New Year as I can.. then fingers crossed we can both move on.
    Considered (and still am to an extent) doing that, but that involves bull****ting my parents, as well as sleeping next to her until January 3rd, something (if last night is any indication) will be a decidedly inpleasant situation.
    (Original post by zKlown)
    Loooool

    Get it the kitchen where you belong so we can have a real chat...

    Dunno, kill her? Yeah it's a bit illegal, but at least you avoid the conversation?
    Again, lovely to see people thought that was rep-worthy. And no, I am a very petite person, I would not do well in prison.
    (Original post by Fragile_Illusions)
    Can you not do it after Christmas? In my opinion, it's far less cruel to 'string her on' for a couple of weeks than to dump her and leave her alone for Christmas and New Years.
    Just sit down with her and tell her how you're feeling and that you don't think it can work out.
    She has other offers for Christmas, and New Years is with her frends anyway. I see your point though.
    (Original post by naomidawn)
    This makes me feel so sad
    You're not the only one.
    (Original post by Svenjamin)
    Talk to her face to face and say what you feel. There's no good way to break up with someone, but if you do it politely with respect and honesty then she can't hold it against you. Any other way (phonecall, email, text, letter) is a total cop out.

    Do gauge how she's reacting to the conversation though. Some people prefer break ups short and sweet, others like lengthy explanations. So when it seems time to go, then end the conversation and leave her alone to deal with it.

    Oh, and DO NOT break up with her and then straight away suggest you stay friends. That's her decision to make, and she probably won't appreciate you calling the shots to such an extent. Just be there when she does decide she wants to stay friends.
    Would never do it any way but face to face, would hate myself if I didn't.

    Thanks for the advice.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Same boat, except I'm the girl.
    I'm staying with him for Christmas, which will be a horribly huge act, but better than breaking his heart before. Then I'll tell him that I feel nothing for him anymore as early into the New Year as I can.. then fingers crossed we can both move on.
    the EXACT same situation
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    awwwwwww why??
    why did your feelings suddenly end for her?
    I'm not pitying or blamin you cos you didnt cheat or do anything wrong but its such a bad situatuation
    I put myself in the girls place...i'd probably be smashed.
    cant you like give it another try?
    or make her hate you
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    this thread is pretty sad =/. I would've thought her friends would be able to cheer her up somewhat on New Years, unless she can't face going out because of you.
    Though if its how you feel, it IS the right thing to do. I think she'd much prefer to know, than just have you pretend.
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    Just say you cannot be with her anymore.
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    Bottom line is be as honest as you can while keeping their feelings in mind, because any omitting, cloaking or otherwise misrepresentation of the truth can and probably will come back to haunt you.

    Failing that, concrete boots.
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    its not you, its me.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Menakshelatte)
    awwwwwww why??
    why did your feelings suddenly end for her?
    I'm not pitying or blamin you cos you didnt cheat or do anything wrong but its such a bad situatuation
    I put myself in the girls place...i'd probably be smashed.
    cant you like give it another try?
    or make her hate you
    It's been something that's been there for a while. It's a bit of everything, but up until recently I'd always told myself I still loved her despite everything. Being here however I know I don't; I care about her and want her to be happy, but I don't love her and know I can't make her happy.[/cheesycliche]

    In reality we've been limping along for the last 6+ months, me telling myself I'll sort myself out it'll work out with time, her probably thinking the same. I've honestly given it all the tries I think I can. As for making her hate me I honestly don't think I could bring myself to do it, and even if I did I don't think she'd take it any better, knowing her she'd blame herself for messing things up in some way.
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    Text her
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    the good people of TSR


    Good people? No no no, TSR is full of trolls and nothing more.
 
 
 
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