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Uncomfortable around someone at work Watch

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    Someone i'm working with makes me feel terribly uncomfortable, to the point that i dread going in if they're going to be there. They aren't mean or anything, quite the opposite. They're quite complimentary towards me. What makes me feel uncomfortable is the compliments they give me, and that they try to touch/get close to me. I'd be working on something and they'd come up behind me really close, and grab my hand or stroke my arm, and say 'i just wanted to touch your hand/be close to you'. I know that they do it to a few other girls who work there too, and it makes them feel uncomfortable. Is it unreasonable of me to feel uncomfortable, they're quite a bit older than me and it comes off as creepy.

    Should i tell a manager about how it's making me feel? On friday they came up behind me and started stroking my back, it's incredibly offputting. Thing is, recently someone else was fired because apparently they were making girls feel uncomfortable (although i had no problem with them), and im worried that if i tell someone people would just think i'm grassing up a decent person. I do know though that they make other women feel uneasy in their presence, and often when they're in the staff room with him, they'd leave if it meant being alone with him.

    Am i overreacting? I've never been in this situation before, but surely caressing someone's hand/back at work is innappropriate? Im worried that if i tell someone and nothing is done he'll know it was me who told others too.

    What do i do?
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    Don't feel pressured into just accepting being sexually harrassed. Snitch.
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    (Original post by JCC-MGS)
    Don't feel pressured into just accepting being sexually harrassed. Snitch.
    Listen to the man! If you feel uncomfortable with them, tell them to stop. If they don't then GIVE...THEM...HELL!!!!:mob::mob::mob::mob::mob::mob::mwuaha:
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    (Original post by JCC-MGS)
    Don't feel pressured into just accepting being sexually harrassed. Snitch.
    If i told someone would it be completely confidential? He seems to do it when other people aren't around, or when they're working on something so they don't notice. It be just my word against his, what if they believe him?
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    (Original post by Kerr Avon)
    Listen to the man! If you feel uncomfortable with them, tell them to stop. If they don't then GIVE...THEM...HELL!!!!:mob::mob::mob::mob::mob::mob::mwuaha:
    I've not told them to stop (im not very assertive, and to be honest the times he's done it have caught me off guard and i didn't know what to say). It's really clear that i don't appreciate it though, i usually tense up and move away.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If i told someone would it be completely confidential? He seems to do it when other people aren't around, or when they're working on something so they don't notice. It be just my word against his, what if they believe him?
    Get other people to vouch for your story.
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    Have you told him how uncomfortable he makes you feel? Stand up for yourself and tell him to keep his hands off you.

    If he continues after you've warned him, then tell someone higher up that you feel uncomfortable. Maybe he doesn't realise how creepy he's coming across, or maybe he's just a touchy-feely person and if he knew how he'd upset you then he'd stop? :dontknow:

    EDIT: Oops, just read your post above. You really need to tell him to back off before you complain about him, imo.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've not told them to stop (im not very assertive, and to be honest the times he's done it have caught me off guard and i didn't know what to say). It's really clear that i don't appreciate it though, i usually tense up and move away.
    Than give them hell!!! Go to your boss, the POLICE if you feel strongly, and utterly obliterate them! It could well be sexual harassment and that is a MINOR CRIME. You can't let them get away with it.
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    (Original post by JCC-MGS)
    Get other people to vouch for your story.
    Thank you. I suppose that management would take it more seriously if more people were experiencing the same thing. It's just convincing them to tell management too.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Someone i'm working with makes me feel terribly uncomfortable, to the point that i dread going in if they're going to be there. They aren't mean or anything, quite the opposite. They're quite complimentary towards me. What makes me feel uncomfortable is the compliments they give me, and that they try to touch/get close to me. I'd be working on something and they'd come up behind me really close, and grab my hand or stroke my arm, and say 'i just wanted to touch your hand/be close to you'. I know that they do it to a few other girls who work there too, and it makes them feel uncomfortable. Is it unreasonable of me to feel uncomfortable, they're quite a bit older than me and it comes off as creepy.

    Should i tell a manager about how it's making me feel? On friday they came up behind me and started stroking my back, it's incredibly offputting. Thing is, recently someone else was fired because apparently they were making girls feel uncomfortable (although i had no problem with them), and im worried that if i tell someone people would just think i'm grassing up a decent person. I do know though that they make other women feel uneasy in their presence, and often when they're in the staff room with him, they'd leave if it meant being alone with him.

    Am i overreacting? I've never been in this situation before, but surely caressing someone's hand/back at work is innappropriate? Im worried that if i tell someone and nothing is done he'll know it was me who told others too.

    What do i do?
    Just tell them to stop as you don't feel comfortable with it?

    Whats he gonna do? Rape you there and then?
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    (Original post by Kerr Avon)
    Than give them hell!!! Go to your boss, the POLICE if you feel strongly, and utterly obliterate them! It could well be sexual harassment and that is a MINOR CRIME. You can't let them get away with it.
    She can't go to the police because he touched her back :erm:

    At the end of the day, if you don't tell him to stop, he'll probably think he hasn't been doing anything wrong. Touching someone's hand/back isn't a crime. Yeah, it's an invasion of personal space but unless he's touching you in really inappropriately, e.g. breasts, bum, between your legs, then you need to speak to him first.
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    Have you told him how uncomfortable he makes you feel? Stand up for yourself and tell him to keep his hands off you.

    If he continues after you've warned him, then tell someone higher up that you feel uncomfortable. Maybe he doesn't realise how creepy he's coming across, or maybe he's just a touchy-feely person and if he knew how he'd upset you then he'd stop? :dontknow:

    EDIT: Oops, just read your post above. You really need to tell him to back off before you complain about him, imo.
    Thank you. Next time he touches me i'll tell him to back off. To be honest the reason why i haven't before is because it usually takes me by surprise. I will next time though. You're right about telling him to leave off before complaining though, otherwise he might get in trouble for what he thinks is perfectly innocent.
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    She can't go to the police because he touched her back :erm:

    At the end of the day, if you don't tell him to stop, he'll probably think he hasn't been doing anything wrong. Yeah, it's an invasion of personal space but unless he's touching you in really inappropriately, e.g. breasts, bum, between your legs, then you need to speak to him first.
    You'd be surprised, but I take your point. (Awesome profile pic by the way!)
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    One day come into work really drunk, and then you can very easily let them know how creepy and uncomfortable they are :smug:

    Or else just get some courage and do it yourself. Eww honestly though, I sympathise with you
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    I'd tell him to stop before going to the manager, if he still doesn't I'd talk to the other girls who also feel uncomfortable and speak to the manager together
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you. Next time he touches me i'll tell him to back off. To be honest the reason why i haven't before is because it usually takes me by surprise. I will next time though. You're right about telling him to leave off before complaining though, otherwise he might get in trouble for what he thinks is perfectly innocent.
    I know what you mean Is there any way you could talk to him, before he has chance to do it again? Like next time you're at work, can you just have a quiet word, and say you'd really appreciate it if he didn't keep being so touchy feely because it makes you uncomfortable? If he means no harm by it then he'll stop straight away.
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    I know what you mean Is there any way you could talk to him, before he has chance to do it again? Like next time you're at work, can you just have a quiet word, and say you'd really appreciate it if he didn't keep being so touchy feely because it makes you uncomfortable? If he means no harm by it then he'll stop straight away.
    He works on a different floor to me, but i often pass him on my way into work so i could mention it then, (he's the security guard working at the entrance). If i don't get an opportunity to have a quick word with him then, then i will when he does it again. Thank you for the advise you have given .
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    If I were in your place I would give them a slap across there face and then go to the manager.
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    Hey, thanks everyone for replying and giving me advice. This is just an update really. It turns out that it's not only me who has been feeling uncomfortable around him, and a few statements from other girls were taken by a manager (on a day which i had off, so i was no part of it), and it's being dealt with. I assume he's no longer working there, as he is full time and i've not seen him since i've been back.

    Thanks for the advice though, everyone .
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    (Original post by zKlown)
    Just tell them to stop as you don't feel comfortable with it?

    Whats he gonna do? Rape you there and then?
    Who knows? If there is no one near, how can we know?
 
 
 
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