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Don't think I like being in a relationship anymore.. Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Anyone else sometimes feel like this? Like, I sometimes feel as if my boyfriend would make more effort if he fancied me from afar and had to work to get me. Sometimes, it just feels like because he's 'got' me he doesn't need to put in as much effort. For example, he's just gone to play Fifa after telling me he feels too ill to stay up chatting to me, hahaa. Not a problem, but I know he wouldn't have done that if he didn't 'have' me.
    • #2
    #2

    I feel exactly the same at this moment in time. Sometimes I just wish he'd make more of an effort, and I wish we went out like we used to, instead of staying in all the time. It just gets a bit boring.
    But, I'm speaking to him about it tomorrow, maybe you should do the same thing? No harm in trying, I guess!
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    Why don't YOU make an effort, you lazy sausage.

    Equal rights, etc.
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    he should talk to you while playing Fifa, a great compromise!
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    COD before hoes?
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    (Original post by Onge)
    COD before hoes?

    Amen to that.

    But really. I do see what you mean, very few guys would go off to play playstation while on the phone to a girl they really like and are chasing.
    After a while it is just the way things are though, things get a little boring and there is no more chase. You can try spark up the relationship abit more but I dont think it can ever be the same as it is at the start tbh.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anyone else sometimes feel like this? Like, I sometimes feel as if my boyfriend would make more effort if he fancied me from afar and had to work to get me. Sometimes, it just feels like because he's 'got' me he doesn't need to put in as much effort. For example, he's just gone to play Fifa after telling me he feels too ill to stay up chatting to me, hahaa. Not a problem, but I know he wouldn't have done that if he didn't 'have' me.
    Complacency happens after a while, it's just one of those things. Come up with a way to distract him from his Xbox and I'm sure he will put more effort in! It works both ways though, treat him to something nice at Christmas and that'll hopefully get him to appreciate you more.
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    (Original post by Aack)
    Why don't YOU make an effort, you lazy sausage.

    Equal rights, etc.
    + rep

    Yeah, you should make an effort too, even if he wants to play fifa :P
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    I'm the same. I'm complacent she's complacent. It's life I suppose... *Sighs*
    • #3
    #3

    I feel exactly the same. My boyfriend doesn't make any effort at all with me anymore, but if I say anything it gets turned round on me and somehow ends up being my fault and I end up apologising. Or if I do nice things for him which he loves, he'll then start saying how he feels guilty because he doesn't do nice things for me and it makes him feel like a bad boyfriend, so I'll tone down doing the nice things for a bit because I don't want to make him feel bad, then he tell's me I don't care about him and am not making any effort. Just can't win!
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    Ask yourself, what do you/did you want from a relationship when you began it in the first place. If your reasons don't seem all that desirable anymore, that is when you should reconsider whether a relationship is what you want right now; it's never fair on the other person.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anyone else sometimes feel like this? Like, I sometimes feel as if my boyfriend would make more effort if he fancied me from afar and had to work to get me. Sometimes, it just feels like because he's 'got' me he doesn't need to put in as much effort. For example, he's just gone to play Fifa after telling me he feels too ill to stay up chatting to me, hahaa. Not a problem, but I know he wouldn't have done that if he didn't 'have' me.
    Have you considered investing in a Bustier, with matching G-string, stockings, a pair of 7” platform heels and a really short skirt?

    I’d be willing to bet that if you got dressed in that and walked between him and the TV while letting him know that you’re on your way to the local pub/club and would he please give you a call when he finishes playing….your problem will be solved.

    If that doesn’t make him start taking care of business, at least you know it’s time for you to start looking again.

    Best Wishes
    • #4
    #4

    PLEASE WATCH OUT, ANYONE IN THIS SITUATION!!!!11
    I was feeling like this, but then it all blew completely out of proportion and things ended.


    Have never felt so awful in my life.
    Don't know what to do with myself.
    There is nothing worse.
    I miss him so much :'(

    • #5
    #5

    Sometimes when a relationship is well-settled, you can find that you act very differently around that person than you did when you first started. Instead of being fun or alive, you can end up being lovey-dovey all of the time and it gets boring.

    Think - are you very different around your boyfriend than you are around your friends? Do you actually think you're more fun around your friends? So maybe you could try to start acting more like your single self around your boyfriend and he will find you more attractive.

    That's not to say it's all your fault, I think guys can be really lazy once they have their prize. I'm kind of in the same predicament.
    Even though I have tried to be funnier, to be livelier, to be sexier (and yes that involves lingerie) - any resulting positive change in his behaviour doesn't last long at all and I find it difficult to try hard continuously when I feel I'm the only one putting in any effort. He used to dote on me, and I on him, and somehow it's just died.

    I think I am going to speak to him about it when I next see him, because I don't believe the situation is irreparable. We need to do more interesting stuff together. It is difficult to love someone when you are bored in their company because you never do anything! Maybe though, it comes down to a mismatch of interests/ basic compatibility that was hidden by your initial infatuation. I hope that isn't the case with my boyfriend

    I am so worried because I can envision us ending, and the thought breaks my heart. I never thought that we would come to that.
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    My girlfriend had a massive strop at me the other week for exactly this lol

    You only spend time with me when it's convenient for you blah blah blah.

    Note to self girls, neediness and moaning is not attractive!!!

    Needless to say, she threatened to make us 'just friends' again and I quickly got back to lovin her.
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    My biggest fear of being in a relationship is when it comes to a stage where everything dies down to nothing, and the relationship generally hits a boring low.

    I have that constant thought, probably why I find it hard to take a liking for someone to relationship level.

    In saying that though, I am with someone atm. I don't really know how it'll go tbh. I used to be really interested in him, but now, a year later, I'm not sure if the feelings are there. I'm gonna take the advice of others and put these anxieties aside for a bit, to see if it'll work out.

    For some, I know the situation is the reverse. People who are in love become stronger and stronger. Although they may have experience this 'rough patch' that everyone probably experiences at some point, I'm sure there must be some sorta compromise that binds them together at an even stronger level.

    I think those who worry about their relationship have to consider a few things...
    Firstly, what are you expecting of this relationship? If you don't know, do you actually feel ready for a relationship?
    Is there any way you could improve on the strength and regain the excitement of your relationship such as expanding your hobbies and trying other things other than the typical dinner relationship?

    I think if you get yourself involved in your partners hobbies, trying something new, and introducing them to new things, then the spark might actually be rekindled. Also, if you even expand in your own hobbies, being a more busier person and thus interesting, you might find that the time spent with your partner is important and appreciate them more.

    You cannot expect to sit around all of the time and expect the relationship to remain a constant high. You have to get out there and try new things with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    he should talk to you while playing Fifa, a great compromise!
    Mine does that, then he blames me when he loses... :rolleyes:
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    I guess its just the nature of grils..we like attention.
    or maybe we're just scared of losing you when we dont see the the same spark in your eyes at the beginning of a relationship.
    plus we get a jealous a lot more easy..it might sound stupid for us to be jealous of COD but yh it does happen unfortunately
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    he should talk to you while playing Fifa, a great compromise!
    You're not a gamer, are you?
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    You do not understand the importance of FIFA 11.
 
 
 
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